


When There's Trouble You Know Who To Call

by Jimblejambles



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series), Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Group chat, Memes, More tags to be added, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Swearing, Texting, beast boy protection squad, but like i tend to forget about some of them every few secs, i mean pretty much all of the teen titans are in it at one point, ill add tags as i go because i dunno how angsty ill feel by the end, jericho protection squad, jk im 19 but still-, outdated memes because im an old man, selective mutism, starfire protection squad, warning my ending notes are probs longer than the chapters oop-
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 53
Words: 19,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25902250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jimblejambles/pseuds/Jimblejambles
Summary: fishie: also jinx wtf are you doing?horseshoe: talking to spirits why?baymax: i swear to god if you summon any spookshorseshoe: you’ll do what?baymax: cryhorseshoe: ohbbyflash: you should summon a spirit so we could unmask them like in scooby dooAKA The Teen Titans GC that no one, especially not Robin, asked for.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Koriand'r, Garth/Roy Harper, Jinx/Wally West, Mal Duncan/Joseph Wilson
Comments: 304
Kudos: 123





	1. robins been taking lessons from daddy bruce

**Author's Note:**

> yo imma warn you now, im not funny lol
> 
> and in case it wasnt obvious:  
> robin: boywonder  
> beastboy (or should i say bestboy): greenbean  
> starfire: sunshine  
> raven: mcrisback  
> cyborg: baymax  
> kidflash: bbyflash  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> aqualad: fishie

<titans assemble> 11:13

boywonder: so

boywonder: who broke the coffee machine?

boywonder: i’m not mad

boywonder: i just wanna know

sunshine: It was me. I was the one to break the coffee machine.

boywonder: no

boywonder: no you didn’t

boywonder: beast boy?

greenbean: dont look at me

greenbean: look at cy

baymax: what???

baymax: i know you didn’t just suggest that

baymax: i

baymax: didn’t 

baymax: break 

baymax: it

greenbean: huh

greenbean: dats wierd

greenbean: howd ya even now it was broken??

baymax: CUZ ROBIN JUST TOLD US IT’S BROKEN

greenbean: susp

baymax: NO

baymax: ITS NOT

bbyflash: if it matters

bbyflash: props not

bbyflash: but jinx was the last to use it

horseshoe: liar

horseshoe: i dont even drink that crap

bbyflash: oh really?

bbyflash: then what were you doing by the coffee machine earlier?

horseshoe: i use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles

horseshoe: everyone knows that kid!

sunshine: Alright!

sunshine: Let us stop the fighting.

sunshine: I broke the machine.

sunshine: Let me pay for it, Robin.

boywonder: no

boywonder: who

boywonder: broke

boywonder: it?

baymax: hey rob?

baymax: raven’s been awfully quiet

mcrisback: Really?!

baymax: yeah really!

<titans east alerts> 11:32

boywonder: i broke it

boywonder: it broke my hand so i punched it

boywonder: i predict ten minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick

boywonder: good

boywonder it was getting a lil chummy around here

fishie: what is wrong with you?


	2. he got them mad connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bbyflash: woop woop  
> bbyflash: this chat is under investigation for containing content that is too wholesome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is just me shamelessly writing fluff
> 
> also sorry im not funny
> 
> boywonder: robin  
> hornblower: herald  
> boywonder2: speedy  
> guitarsolo: jericho  
> sunshine: starfire  
> bbyflash: kid flash  
> baymax: cyborg

<titans assemble> 13:48

boywonder: anyone available for the next couple days?

hornblower: yeahhh why?

boywonder: beast boy’s needed in the doom patrol for a mission

boywonder2: lol why beast boy?

boywonder: he used to be a member

boywonder2: beast boy was in the fucking doom patrol?

boywonder: language

boywonder: and yeah

guitarsolo: im also free if you need me (｡●́‿●̀｡)

sunshine: We would be most thrilled if you came, Jericho.

sunshine: And may I ask, what the symbols mean?

guitarsolo: theyre emojis ヽ(^o^)ノ

guitarsolo: they have wee faces ~(˘▾˘~) ~(˘▾˘)~ (~˘▾˘)~

sunshine: They are most wonderful.

bbyflash: woop woop

bbyflash: this chat is under investigation for containing content that is too wholesome

sunshine: Oh did we do something wrong?

boywonder: no star

boywonder: kf’s just messing around

boywonder2: IM SORRY ARE WE JUST IGNORING THAT BEAST BOY WAS A MEMBER OF THE DOOM PATROL AND NO ONE TOLD ME???

bbyflash: thats old news speedy

boywonder2: WHAT??

boywonder2: HOW DID KID KNOW BEFORE ME?

bbyflash: because robin likes me more

baymax: youre both pretty

baymax: now

baymax: it’s just jericho and herald coming right?

boywonder: yeah

baymax: cool

baymax: i’ll set up a room for each of them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jericho and starfire are both wholesome individuals


	3. raven: i love the titans especially *looks at smudged writing on hand* breast bap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mcrisback: I hate all of you  
> sunshine: Oh? (⌣́_⌣̀)   
> mcrisback: Except Starfire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> baymax: cyborg  
> mcrisback: raven  
> sunshine: starfire  
> boywonder: robin  
> guitarsolo: jericho
> 
> warning for shameless fluff

<the originals> 21:11

baymax: it’s so quiet without bb

mcrisback: Good

sunshine: I miss him.

mcrisback: He’ll be back before you know it

mcrisback: And then you’ll be wishing he was gone for longer

sunshine: I would never!

mcrisback: Sorry

mcrisback: I meant I’ll be wishing he was gone for longer

baymax: you say that like you didn’t set his place at dinner

mcrisback: It was just a force of habit

boywonder: awwwww

boywonder: it’s ok raven

boywonder: beast boy will be back in a couple days

boywonder: and you can go back to teasing each other to your heart’s content

mcrisback: I hate all of you

sunshine: Oh? (⌣́_⌣̀) 

mcrisback: Except Starfire

sunshine: ↖(^▽^)↗

boywonder: did jericho teach you that?

sunshine: The emojis?

boywonder: yeah

sunshine: Yes!

sunshine: Do you like them? ❀❀

boywonder: yes

<pm: guitarsolo> 21:42

boywonder: thank you

guitarsolo: ( ・◇・)？

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: im gonna have beast boy be away for a few chapters else ill forget about all the other characters  
> also me: i miss beast boy
> 
> ive upgraded the update frequency to twice a week because i wrote 3 chapters last night like some possessed mad man. so for now yall be getting updates on a monday and friday.
> 
> from here on out, this note is mainly just me hyping certain comic adaptions of beast boy.
> 
> ive been rereading a lot of the comics recently and like i love the titans: burning rage comics and the titans: titans together 2020 series. im not the biggest fan of the rebirth comics at times. i think plotwise they some times felt a little rushed (especially when gar and raven joined the titans). although i did like gar's role in the justice league: no justice series. he was just surrounded by older heroes and villains, like slade, batman, luthor and lobo, and they were all just there like 'who invited this baby?' aka i think sometimes gar just has the funniest interactions with villains and anti-heroes because hes either shooting jokes left right and centre or theyre giving him advice. of course there is the odd occasion where gar just goes absolutely feral because hes angey.
> 
> i really liked the titans: burning rage series because one it reunites most my faves and two beast boys very cute in it. also there's a lot more shenanigans than most the main continuity comics. and gar turns into godzilla and makes the pun 'garzilla' which was *chefs kiss*. that and i really liked the art throughout it. that and the team are just happy to be together, which i think was my main problem with the rebirth series. like both the teen titans and titans in the rebirth were basically one argument away from disbanding at points. also gar is literally tiny in the burning rage comics. in some panels hes shorter than tims shoulders and its adorable. i think its a fun adaptation of tim drake as well. hes dedicated but also willing to relax at times. also he was fully prepared to rob the justice league and im always on board with that. although i do wish the comic had been longer so that there could have been more dedication to raven and starfire because it is quite a beast boy heavy comic (which appealed to me because gar's my favourite superhero).
> 
> titans together which came out this year was also very fun. it featured nightwing, donna, starfire, gar, raven and jason todd, which was fun because you got some batfam shenanigans. beast boy looked like an actual baby in this comic and all the others knew it too. like they all treated him like their little brother. honestly it felt a little bit like the titans live action, but less intense. there was also some fun beast boy and raven moments in it, especially issue 3. i dunno if this ones finished or not because its been a hot minute since it updated, but i hope its still going because the vibes fun. also i feel it gave each of them a moment to shine which was nice.
> 
> this mostly came from the fact im hyped for the beast boy instalment of kami garcias teen titans comics especially because its illustrated by gabriel picolo.
> 
> anywayyyyyyyy whats your favourite version of the team? cuz the 2003 animated series will always be my fav. also whats your ideal combination for teen titans members? because i really want a comic where the main teen titans team consists of nightwing, starfire, kid flash, beast boy, cyborg, raven and jericho, but then again i also feel like thats too many members to have on one team oop-


	4. my meme knowledge is weak but my heart is fat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bbyflash: stop with the outdated memes  
> bbyflash: i miss beast boy  
> bbyflash: he was the only true memer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kid flash - bbyflash  
> robin - boywonder  
> aqualad - fishie  
> cyborg - baymax  
> raven - mcrisback  
> speedy - boywonder2  
> jericho - guitarsolo  
> herald - hornblower  
> jinx - horseshoe  
> bumblebee - buzzlightyear  
> mas - thing 1  
> menos - thing 2  
> starfire - sunshine  
> argent - itsnotaphase  
> tramm - trolley  
> thunder - bfg  
> lightning - sparkysparkyboomboomman  
> bushido - TheSamurai  
> wildebeest - minotaur  
> hot spot - fiyahhh  
> kole - toughcookie  
> red star - radioactive

<titans assemble> 23:47

bbyflash: anyone else think red x and robin sound identical??

boywonder: do not

fishie: omg yes

baymax: finally someone else who hears it

boywonder: cy

boywonder: i will hack your systems

baymax: try me bird brain

boywonder: alright

mcrisback: This will be fun

boywonder2: press f to pay respects

bbyflash: f

fishie: f

mcrisback: F

hornblower: f

guitarsolo: f

horseshoe: f

buzzlightyear: f

thing1: f

thing2: f

sunshine: F

absfordays: F

itsnotaphase: f

trolley: f

bfg: f

sparkysparkyboomboomman: f

TheSamurai: F

minotaur: f

fiyahhh: f

toughcookie: f

radioactive: f

bbyflash: alright

bbyflash: roll up and place your bets

bbyflash: who do you thinks gonna win?

bbyflash: in the one corner

bbyflash: we have the boy wonder himself

bbyflash: batmans original prodigy and the supreme leader of the teen titans

bbyflash: its robin!

bbyflash: in the other corner

bbyflash: we have the original titans east leader

bbyflash: hes 30% human

bbyflash: 70% robot

bbyflash: and 100% taller than robin

bbyflash: its

bbyflash: ITS

fishie: JOHN CENA

bbyflash: no peasant

bbyflash: get your outdated memes out of here

bbyflash: you ruined my set-up

baymax: it was a pointless set up

baymax: robin hasn’t even attacked me

baymax: probably too UHGIUGIIAGFIEG

boywonder2: ms keisha?

boywonder2: ms keisha?

boywonder2: oh she fucking dead

bbyflash: stop with the outdated memes

bbyflash: i miss beast boy

bbyflash: he was the only true memer

fishie: where is beast boy anyway?

fishie: like i get he’s on a mission

fishie: but that’s never stopped him before

boywonder: the doom patrol made him turn off his phone

hornblower: so what you’re saying is string bean won’t see anything we send for the next few days?

bbyflash: oh

bbyflash: OH

bbyflash: oh yeahhhh

baymax: whatever you’re planning i’m in

mcrisback: Whatever it is can you shut up about it until a reasonable time?

baymax: you could always mute the chat rae

mcrisback: You know I can’t

baymax: ah right

baymax: forgot about that

fishie: wait what?

baymax: bb and i hacked her phone to prevent her from muting any of the chats

bbyflash: noice

horseshoe: if yall dont stfu i will give you bad luck for a century

bbyflash: oof

bbyflash: was nice knowing yall

fishie: mood 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i discovered the teen titans go movie is a musical and my heart is torn between my hatred of teen titans go and my love of musicals.
> 
> what's your favourite episode/episodes of teen titans?
> 
> i really like 'every dog has his day', not just because it has a lot of beast boy, but also because of the way he shows up at the end just like 'you rang'. i also really like 'the end' trilogy because i think it's one of the best executions of the whole trigon situation. 'haunted' is honestly insanely good, like it shows robin in a different light. however, it's also a turning point for him i think. although, i do think a lot of people kind of take robin's character (i too have done it) and make him a lot more obsessive than he actually is, when there's so many occasions when he's just like 'lol let's have pizza'.
> 
> i think my favourite episode it 'the quest' tho because while robin's off having an adventure, the other's just lose all their braincells. it's like in avatar when sokka goes to leaves to go master the sword and the other's simply cannot function. it's just very wholesome and i love it because the other's really love robin.


	5. no hablo español

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gotta do your daily rituals to keep away the homophobes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bumblebee - buzzlightyear  
> mas - thing1  
> menos - thing2  
> speedy - boywonder2  
> aqualad - fishie

<east coast bitches> 5:41

boywonder2: ARE YE READY KIDS?

thing1: ¡si capitan, estamos listos!

boywonder2: I CAN’T HEAR YOU

thing2: ¡Si capitán, estamos listos!

boywonder2: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH

boywonder2: WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?

thing1: Bob Esponja!

boywonder2: ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE!

thing2: Bob Esponja!

boywonder2: IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH

thing1: Bob Esponja!

boywonder2: THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH!

thing2: Bob Esponja!

boywonder2: READY??

thing1: Bob Esponja!

thing2: Bob Esponja!

thing1: Bob Esponja!

boywonder2: SPONGEEE BOBBBBBB

boywonder2: SQUARREEE PANNNTSSS   
buzzlightyear: i hate it here

fishie: mood

boywonder2: gotta do the daily ritual to cleanse the air

buzzlightyear: and robin thinks beast boy is bad

fishie: i hope your hair burns off speedy

boywonder2: you take that back

fishie: no

boywonder2: this is war

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter took the longest to write despite being the shortest because i had to google the spanish version of the spongebob opening.
> 
> in other news, i watched teen titans go to the movies. it was actually alright. i mean it wasn't great, but i watched it with the forced mindset of like a 10 year old who hasn't seen the 2003 teen titans series, and it was alright. the songs were annoyingly catchy, but worked. honestly, the biggest shock was realising who some of the voice actors were. like they got kristen bell, nicolas cage, halsey and greg davies. it was a goofy plot, which was loveable in it's own kind of way. also they made a lot of references to other stuff. slade also says 'divide and conquer' at one point which was a nice touch. beast boy's powers also seem a lot wilder, like at one point he turns into a dragon, which was kind of cool. there were also a couple cute bbrae moments, which was nice.
> 
> it was weird because i don't like teen titans go and it's not just because i miss the 2003 series. (although i do have to admit, i've only ever seen a handful of episodes, but like i didn't like what i saw) i think teen titans go really boils the characters down to singular character traits. robin is obsessive and controlling, which wouldn't be bad, if it wasn't his only trait in teen titans go. beast boy is dumb and constantly flirts with raven. like in the show and comics, beast boy has his dumb moments, but it's shown he can be very intelligent. teen titans go ignores that and is just like beast boy has no brain. cyborg is reduced to meat jokes and saying booyah. cyborg is literally so intelligent, cool and funny and teen titans go just ignores that. starfire has no emotional depth. they don't portray her insecurities about her place on the team or how cool she is. my girl flew off into a snow storm with zero hesitation in the 2003 series. and then there's raven.
> 
> like up until this point, you could argue that teen titans go is just targeting a younger audience than the 2003 series, but then there's the gross sexualisation of raven. like literally any episode i've seen (with the exclusion of the movie which is probably the main reason i managed to sit through it) raven has been sexualised. they'll draw attention to her legs or her body and it's gross. they are teenagers like it's in the name 'teen' titans and if you're target audience is that young, they don't need to see it.
> 
> i get the show's meant to be a comedy, but you can have a comedy and still occasionally show a more serious side. the original series would balance their more serious episodes with more funny episodes. the season with trigon contained a lot of serious episodes, so it was balanced with a lot more funnier episodes. as a kid watching the show, i appreciated the funnier episodes of teen titans, but as i reached my teens, i preferred the more serious episodes, although i did still appreciate the comedy relief in between.
> 
> anyway, those are my thoughts on like teen titans vs teen titans go. i know people have different viewpoints on it and there is a chance that i've only stumbled upon the episodes where raven is grossly sexualised (but the fact that those episodes even exist is gross) and there might be some better episodes out there.
> 
> what are your thoughts on teen titans go?


	6. it's a beautiful day to disappoint e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the news with your host kid flash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bbyflash: kid flash  
> toughcookie: kole  
> boywonder: robin  
> sunshine: starfire  
> baymax: cyborg  
> mcrisback: raven  
> horseshoe: jinx

<titans assemble> 6:21

bbyflash: good morning titans

bbyflash: im your host kid flash

bbyflash: and here is todays news

bbyflash: speedys hair gel is missing

bbyflash: jinx and i have a date tonight

bbyflash: gnarrk sent kole his first text

toughcookie: it was v cute

bbyflash: my soulmeme has yet to return from the doom patrol

bbyflash: starfire complimented robins butt and he blushed for 6 hours

boywonder: i will lock you out of the tower

bbyflash: moving on

bbyflash: we have starfire with the weather

sunshine: The sun is most bright today ☀☼☀

sunshine: It is the perfect weather for a picnic, yes? ヽ(*^ｰ^)人(^ｰ^*)ノ

baymax: you hear that robin?

baymax: star wants to go on a picnic

boywonder: yeah

boywonder: i’ll have to check my schedule

mcrisback: “Check my schedule”

mcrisback: We all know your plans consist of sitting in the dark in angst

bbyflash: like the batman prodigy he is

bbyflash: batman would be so proud

bbyflash: cant wait to tell daddy flash about this

horseshoe: call him daddy flash again and i will make sure all your clothes turn pink :)

sunshine: Why does Jinx’s happy face seem so fake?

bbyflash: oh starfire

bbyflash: sweet innocent starfire

bbyflash: please never change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont remember half the stuff i write for kid flash and i feel like thats a good thing.
> 
> would like you all to know that i sat through a windows update just to make sure this update was brought to you in time. like i went to click 'add chapter' and windows was like 'haha sike you're gonna be signed out in less than a minute nerd'. so i sat and watched it restart just to deliver another unfunny chapter to y'all.
> 
> also i might be starting college on monday? i might not. i've not actually been given a start date yet. so i could start monday or i could start in october? like i dunno. it's crazy.
> 
> so, i love teen titans, but like i do have episodes i dislike. i'm not a big fan of 'how long is forever?' and it's annoying because i really like the concept and most of the execution. aka, i just feel they did beast boy dirty in that episode. a part from anything less, it's only 20 years in the future and beast boy to me is the youngest of the 5. i hc cyborg to be about 18, robin to be 15/16, same with starfire, raven to be 13/14 and beast boy to be from anywhere between 12-14. so if this is 20 years in the future, max beast boy's gonna be is about 34. and like there's no way he's 34 and looking that bad. honestly, i'm not even that mad about the other's. although, i can't see beast boy and cyborg not checking in with each other, unless something had happened to beast boy. like the main thing i would change would be rather than beast boy looking old, i think his dna would be more destabilised. like him not being able to maintain a full human form.
> 
> what episode of teen titans do you think you'd rewrite if you could?


	7. the first rule of fight club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> legally im not allowed to talk about this chapter or ill be kicked out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> robin - boywonder  
> kid flash - bbyflash  
> starfire - sunshine  
> cyborg - baymax  
> herald - hornblower  
> hot spot - fiyahhh

<titans assemble> 10:27

boywonder: ok so who's actually staying at the main tower atm

boywonder: because there’s definitely more than there were yesterday

bbyflash: so what im hearing is theres some kind of secret party at titans tower??

boywonder: there best not be

boywonder: otherwise the titans will be losing some members :)

sunshine: There is no secret party, Robin（*＾ω＾）人（＾ω＾*）

boywonder: ok i believe you

<super secret ninja squad chat> 10:39

bbyflash: told yall hed buy it if star said it

baymax: youre a genius

baymax: but also whered you disappear to?

bbyflash: speedy bet he could swim faster than aqualad

bbyflash: so now theyre racing

baymax: and yall didnt invite me??

hornblower: you looked too busy flirting with gnarrk

hornblower: we didn’t wanna interrupt anything

baymax: 1. we were not flirting

baymax: 2. i could have brought gnarrk with me

fiyahhh: i thought gnarrk was dating kole

bbyflash: they are

bbyflash: cy flirts with both of them

fiyahhh: oh

fiyahhh: oooohhhhh

<titans assemble> 10:53

boywonder: right

boywonder: if you’re currently in the main tower say i

<super secret ninja squad chat> 10:54

baymax: SCATTER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and they were racing-
> 
> so the hot news is i don't know when i start college as they've not told me. it could be tomorrow, it could have been today, who knows? but i've also been playing a lot of mabinogi recently because i'm big trash as well as rewatching fmab. also, i've been remembering how BAD i am at games. like my hand eye coordination is literally the worst, which is strange because i'm alright at art?? like how does that work???
> 
> honestly, i don't know who i ship cyborg with because like he's so easy to ship. like cyborg and jinx? cyborg and bumblebee? cyborg and kole? cyborg and gnarrk? cyborg and kole and gnarrk? like my boi is a chaotic bi disaster and we love it. i don't particularly ship beast boy and cy in the 2003 animated series, just because they look quite different in age. like cy looks mid teens to young adult and beast boy looks like he's pre teens to young teen. but like in the live actions, i'm praying for cy to make an appearance on titans or for beast boy to make an appearance (and stay there permanently so he actually has lines *yes shade*) so they can be bros™. 
> 
> to be fair though, i ship everyone with everyone depending on the time of day. like robin x beast boy? sign me up. robin x kid flash? yeah boi. robin x starfire? the absolute cutest. raven x starfire? iconic. jericho x beast boy? fluff city. jericho x herald? two cute bros. teen titans just has a strangely shippable ensemble. it makes it very hard for me to pick a favourite ship because like it depends on when you ask me. 
> 
> do y'all have a favourite ship?


	8. starfire aka the get out of jail free card

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> collect $200 as you pass go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> robin: boywonder  
> cyborg: baymax   
> starfire: sunshine  
> kid flash: bbyflash  
> raven: mcrisback  
> jericho: guitarsolo  
> herald: hornblower  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> bumblebee: buzzlightyear  
> hot spot: fiyahhh  
> speedy: boywonder2

<titans assemble> 14:56

boywonder: i hate you guys

baymax: worth it

sunshine: Sorry, we did not mean to upset you (⌣̩̩́_⌣̩̩̀)

boywonder: you didn’t upset me star

boywonder: i just wish someone had told me

sunshine: Then we are ok?

boywonder: yeah we’re ok

<super secret ninja squad chat> 15:01

bbyflash: well it was fun while it lasted

bbyflash: til next time lads

baymax: see you on the other side

<titans assemble> 15:27

boywonder: now that’s all over

boywonder: who is actually in the tower say i

sunshine: I

baymax: i

mcrisback: I

hornblower: i

guitarsolo: i (ﾉﾟ▽ﾟ)ﾉ

bbyflash: i

horseshoe: i

boywonder: why are you still here?

horseshoe: rude

boywonder: not you

bbyflash: wow i cant believe youd disrespect jericho like that

boywonder: you know i’m talking about you kf

bbyflash: *gasp* i have done nothing wrong in my life ever

horseshoe: what about when you put orange dye in my shampoo?

mcrisback: or the time you and beast boy snuck into my room and moved everything 1cm to the left?

baymax: or the time you changed everyones name to robin

buzzlightyear: or the time you replaced all the photos in titans east with photos of jinx

bbyflash: in my defense have you seen how cute jinx is

boywonder2: true but like you hid my beauty in doing so

boywonder2: also im so not over the time you swapped all of my stuff with robins

fiyahhh: or the time you followed me around playing bts fire every time i was suited up

bbyflash: ok ok

bbyflash: i get it

bbyflash: im not as innocent as yall believe

boywonder: we have never once thought of you as innocent

bbyflash: i am shooketh

buzzlightyear: the only innocent people in this chat are mas, menos, kole, starfire, jericho, thunder and beast boy

bbyflash: how is beast boy more innocent than me?

buzzlightyear: have you seen him?

buzzlightyear: he baby

bbyflash: what???

baymax: she’s right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should change everyone's names up for the chaos of it, but then i realise it would be torturing myself more than anything as i would have to keep track of the changes. maybe eventually.
> 
> this is a more basic question this chapter. who's your favourite superhero?
> 
> mine is obviously beast boy. i can't even like hide my bias towards him. i just think he's a very interesting character and there's so much to his character. he feels very relatable, but like also not. my boy uses humour to hide all his pain and suffering and that is a mood. although, my boi defo has a tik tok and that's terrifying. recent adaptions of beast boy haven't been afraid to be like 'YA BOI IS TRAU-MA-TISEDDDDD'. although the only time beast boy seems to get screen time in the titans live action is when he's being traumatised. BUT YOUNG JUSTICE! my boi straight up had an episode dedicated to his trauma, but also still gets to have fun moments. (and gets his own team which is GREAT)


	9. i've never been to denny's but it sounds chaotic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> don't fuck the spirits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kid flash: bbyflash  
> cyborg: baymax  
> aqualad: fishie  
> argent: itsnotaphase  
> robin: boywonder  
> speedy: boywonder  
> herald: hornblower  
> raven: mcrisback  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> bumblebee: buzzlightyear  
> hot spot: fiyahhh

<titans assemble> 23:49

bbyflash: anyone wanna go to dennys?

baymax: dennys road trip?

baymax: im in

fishie: same

itsnotaphase: ooohh count me in

boywonder: arent you in new zealand atm?

itsnotaphase: fuck

hornblower: ill pick you up

itsnotaphase: noice

boywonder2: pass i want my beauty sleep

hornblower: jericho cant find his phone but he says hes in

mcrisback: count me out

mcrisback: i dont fuck with the spirits at dennys

horseshoe: dennys is haunted?

horseshoe: im coming too!

buzzlightyear: y’all are gonna need someone responsible with you

buzzlightyear: so i guess i’m coming

buzzlightyear: and i’m bringing mas and menos i guess

boywonder2: wait so i’ll have the tower to myself?

buzzlightyear: yes

buzzlightyear: don’t make me regret it :)

boywonder2: aye aye captain

fiyahhh: titans south is coming

baymax: right so thats kid flash, jinx, aqualad, jericho, herald, argent, bumblebee, mas, menos, hotspot, wildebeest and pantha

baymax: rob are you coming?

boywonder: nah i’d have to wake starfire

bbyflash: *gasp*

bbyflash: are you two you know?

boywonder: no

boywonder: we’re sleeping

boywonder: also aren’t people gonna get confused if a load of superheroes suddenly show up at denny’s?

bbyflash: nah

bbyflash: its dennys were talking about

boywonder: fair

boywonder: have fun and make good choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 comments and i'll drop what speedy was doing in the tower by himself. (JKJKJK cuz that would mean writing it and i'm busy writing other stuff right now)
> 
> only a couple chapters left until the start of the return of beast boy :)))))))))
> 
> today's question is who is your least favourite supervillain?
> 
> mine is mad mod. i am 100% ready to fight him. my boi runs around claiming to be british when he's the least british lad i know. like my boi is a fraud. also, i don't even have beef with his powers, i think his powers are super cool, but his entire personality just causes me pain.


	10. now let's make like scooby doo and split up to find a clue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title taken from the free! parody 50% off
> 
> that moment when you come full cycle to the moment that got you to read the fic in the first place. i'm just kidding y'all probably saw gc fic and were like 'damn count me in satan'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kid flash: bbyflash  
> bumblebee: buzzlightyear  
> cyborg: baymax  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> herald: hornblower  
> jericho: guitarsolo  
> aqualad: fishie  
> hot spot: fiyahhh

  1. NOW LET’S MAKE LIKE SCOOBY DOO AND SPLIT UP TO FIND A CLUE



<titans assemble> 1:13

bbyflash: guys i lost mas and menos

buzzlightyear: you had one job

baymax: this is why i said leaving kid in charge of anyone would be a mistake

bbyflash: hes right

buzzlightyear: i thought he’d be able to keep up with them with his superspeed

horseshoe: well thats your first mistake

horseshoe: thinking kid flash can do anything

bbyflash: harsh but true

buzzlightyear: i do not understand your relationship

horseshoe: he can get me a strawberry milkshake in 2 seconds

horseshoe: what more do you need?

bbyflash: because despite my dumbassery im alright

horseshoe: that too

hornblower: wholesome content

hornblower: also jericho found his phone

guitarsolo: it was in the toilets ヽ(*￣o￣*)ノ♩♫♪

fishie: because that adds up

fishie: also jinx wtf are you doing?

horseshoe: talking to spirits why?

baymax: i swear to god if you summon any spooks

horseshoe: you’ll do what?

baymax: cry

horseshoe: oh

bbyflash: you should summon a spirit so we could unmask them like in scooby doo

fiyahhh: whos the crew tho?

bbyflash: jinx would be daphne

bbyflash: talented at fighting while being fashionable as fuck?

bbyflash: jinx 100%

hornblower: you right

bbyflash: cyborg would be shaggy

bbyflash: jock who would 10/10 run away at the first sight of anything spooky? its ya boi cy

baymax: i have no defence

bbyflash: under normal circumstances my boi beast boy would be scooby

bbyflash: but hes not here so i guess aqualad can be scooby

fiyahhh: what about wildebeest?

bbyflash: wildebeest would defo run towards the spook rather than away from it

fiyahhh: oh thats fair

bbyflash: and hnggggg

bbyflash: jericho would be velma

bbyflash: like my boi would walk up to a spook and rip off its masks with zero fear

guitarsolo: when you grow up in my family you’ll learn to make fear your bitch ♡

bbyflash: remind me to never mess with jericho

hornblower: amen

fishie: guys

fishie: argent is now helping jinx

fishie: i repeat argent is now helping jinx

baymax: shhhh

baymax: i gotta know who fred is

bbyflash: oh

bbyflash: isnt it obvious?

bbyflash: im fred

fiyahhh: whattt???

bbyflash: theatre nerd whos into fashion?

bbyflash: has me all over it

fiyahhh: well damn

fishie: GUYS

fishie: SOMEONE PLEASE TELL JINX AND ARGENT TO STOP

bbyflash: no

fishie: well shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 kudos and i'll write a scooby doo gc fic. just kidding...unless? 
> 
> nah i defo don't have that sort of energy. so anyway, i go to college on the 29th woo and it will kill me. i'll have to get up at 6am twice a week and that's agony. also, i have lost all 2 of my socialisation skills. i had my college induction today and i was sat waiting with a girl and i could not remember how to interact with a human being, so we sat in silence for 10 minutes. then, i got home and read some scooby doo ffs. gotta say, there is not that many scooby doo ffs on ao3.
> 
> my question today is if you were a member of scooby doo, which member would you be? and if you say scooby, i will dub thee a furry.
> 
> i'd say i'm probably fred. 
> 
> dramatic? ✓   
> fashionable? ✓ (don't argue with me, until i dropped out of uni i did fashion design)   
> gay? ✓ 
> 
> although, i'm not great at leading and i've never really made traps, but i bet i'd be alright at it. i'm not cool enough to be our lord and saviour norville 'shaggy' rogers. i could be velma, like i'm pretty logical, but i'm defo too dumb of ass. daphne kicks ass and takes names and i could never. and scooby? well i'm not a furry.


	11. intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> return of the man?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beastboy: greenbean  
> robin: boywonder  
> cyborg: baymax  
> raven: mcrisback  
> starfire: sunshine

<the originals> 4:07

greenbean: Hi this is Elasti-Girl, I’m just letting you know we’re on our way back with Beast Boy xxx

greenbean: He’s currently unconscious - he’s fine - but there was a small incident and someone thought it would be a good to stick a tranquilizer dart in him 

greenbean: So he might be a bit out of it when he wakes up and then he might be pissed off 

greenbean: But tell him not to worry, I’ll be having very stern words with Mento when I get home x

baymax: well its a good thing we just got back from dennys

mcrisback: I’ll wake Robin

baymax: thanks

greenbean: Thank you, I wish I could stay for longer but I’m needed back at headquarters for the rest of the mission xxx

boywonder: what?

boywonder: oh

boywonder: Thanks for bringing him back.

boywonder: I hope the rest of the mission goes well.

greenbean: It’s no problem

greenbean: Anything for Garfield xxx

greenbean: Until the next time, Teen Titans xxx

sunshine: Thank you for looking after our friend Beast Boy (｡●́‿●̀｡)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's the start of the angst fest. be warned, the next few chapters get a bit angsty, so keep an eye on the tags and keep an eye out for warnings.
> 
> also, because this chapter was a tad short, y'all be getting an update on wednesday as a lil treat.
> 
> we achieved 69 comments last chapter and then i was sabotaged by bluelilies134340 so now i'm at war. guess now i gotta keep writing chapters til we hit 666 comments. 
> 
> hnnnggg a question for today... what's your favourite cartoon show, excluding anything dc related? hmm also gonna exclude avatar from that because avatar y'know
> 
> i wanna say like lego ninjago, danny phantom or miraculous ladybug, but i mainly like them because of the fandom and less because of the actual show. i'd have to say gravity falls or adventure time. i love the build-up of gravity falls and all the foreshadowing and the fact that the foreshadowing pays off. i like shows where they foreshadow events to try and get you to figure out what's going out because they feel more rewarding. also, because you then get to rewatch it and be like 'OH THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW'. but like, i like adventure time, because i like music in cartoons, like hello please can we have more cartoons with songs? also, bmo has my entire heart. he's so cute.
> 
> WAIT FUCK. I FORGOT ABOUT PHINEAS AND FERB! SHIT I TAKE BACK ALL I SAID ABOUT ADVENTURE TIME AND GRAVITY FALLS! PHINEAS AND FERB IS MY FAV CARTOON! because you get singing, phineas being oblivious, candace being a disaster bi, a secret organisation with agents that are all just animals and DR HEINZ DOOFENSHMIRTZ!
> 
> sorry, i don't plan out my end comments and let it just all be a stream of brain fart.


	12. *hacker voice* im in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a man can dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kid flash: bbyflash  
> herald: hornblower  
> aqualad: fishie  
> speedy: boywonder2  
> cyborg: baymax

<titans assemble> 7:32

bbyflash: good morning titans

bbyflash: i hope everyone enjoyed their dennys and is not suffering too much

hornblower: how do you have so much energy in the morning?

bbyflash: my blood is caffeine :-)

hornblower: terrifying

fishie: at least y’all don’t have to open a chat to the spongebob theme song every morning

bbyflash: that sounds thrilling

bbyflash: how am i not in the titans east chat?

fishie: because you’re not a member of titans east??

bbyflash: im not a member of titans north or south either and that hasnt stopped me from being in their chats

boywonder2: not in the originals chat?

bbyflash: i keep getting booted from the chat ;-(

baymax: sorry

baymax: that chat is originals only

bbyflash: absolute transphobia

bbyflash: how do you live with yourself?

baymax: with constant self loathing

bbyflash: oof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> make the most of the momentary angst reprieve because it's all y'all are getting til chapter 19
> 
> hnnnggg a lot of the next few chapters are short so be prepared for maybe a couple more wednesday updates :/ but i dunno.
> 
> oh, i got among us btw and i am addicted. i'm not even that bothered about finding out who the impostor is, i just wanna get them tasks done. i also managed to get away with literally venting in front of a couple guys? like i vented into security and one guy was on cams and another entered as i finished venting and neither of them noticed me?? i won through sabotage, which is my main tactic. gotta sabotage whenever possible.
> 
> is anyone else playing among us?
> 
> it reminds me of the mafia game, but it's somewhat more hands on in that you have to actively get away with murder and you can kill more than one crewmen in a round. aka catch me killing people on one side then dashing to the other so i have somewhat of an alibi.


	13. i love found family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what to do about beastboy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> starfire: sunshine  
> robin: boywonder  
> raven: mcrisback  
> cyborg: baymax

<without beastboy> 12:41

sunshine: How is Beast Boy, Robin? ❀❀

boywonder: he woke up briefly

boywonder: mumbled a few things before crawling under the bed with his duvet and pillow

boywonder: then fell back asleep

mcrisback: That’s not good

boywonder: no it’s not

baymax: let me know when he wakes up and ill make his special hot cocoa

sunshine: It is most worrisome that Beast Boy is not up and making jokes

boywonder: i know star

boywonder: but there’s not a lot we can do until he wakes up

mcrisback: Why don’t we go for a walk around town Starfire?

mcrisback: Maybe we can see if there’s a dumb comic Beast Boy would like?

sunshine: Oh that would be wonderful（*＾ω＾）人（＾ω＾*）

<pm: mcrisback> 13:01

boywonder: thanks raven

mcrisback: Just let me know how he is when he wakes up

boywonder: will do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you gotta mix your angst with fluff for that perfect recipe
> 
> another short chapter oof, but the next one ditches the gc format for a hot sec so you've got that to look forward to. also, my grammar has popped off after playing too much among us. i only know the words: who, where, red, green, lime, blue, cyan, yellow, orange, pink, purple, black, white, vent and sus.
> 
> i like how all the members seem to have their own sort of spot to brood. like robin has his whole baby bat cave, cyborg works on his car, beast boy goes down to the rocks and raven either goes to the roof or to her room. starfire doesnt really have a place to brood but thats because shes not emotionally constipated and she can talk about her problems. we stan a queen who has her shit together. i do think it's very relatable to their personalities. robin drowns himself in his work, forgetting about everything else when he's upset. he directs his anger at villains rather than confronting them head on. cyborg goes to his car to work his problems out, he does something he enjoys to take his mind off the problem, but he'll talk about it when he's ready. raven goes to the roof to remind herself she's free and that the world didn't end, but she also goes to her room when she needs to be alone because everything can be overwhelming. beast boy goes to the rocks to think and almost bully himself. he's surrounded by two elements that hold a lot of memories, the rocks representing terra and the water representing his parents. beast boy really ties himself to the past, he even still wears his doom patrol uniform. its funny how beast boys final arc in the show was accepting that things change when his life has never been consistent (unless you count how consistently disasters happen around him oof-).
> 
> hmmm... the question today is which titan do you relate to the most? this can be from any team or comic rendition not just the core 5 in the show.
> 
> id say i relate to kid flash. im like lowkey intelligent but most the time im just a disaster pan. also i move from task to task very quickly because lizard brain. i too saw jinx for the first time and was like 'oh damn she cute'.


	14. what do you mean this gc isn't family friendly?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> robin cares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: PTSD and Selective Mutism (kinda?)

Robin is lying on Beast Boy’s bottom bunk when he feels shuffling underneath him. He puts his phone on Beast Boy’s bedside table and leans over the side of the bed. Wide green eyes and tufts of hair peek out from under the bed. Robin ignores the dark shade of purple decorating Beast Boy’s eyelids and the narrow slits that his pupils form.

Instead, he musters the softest smile he can and murmurs. “Hey, you awake?” Beast Boy nods and his pupils round out the tiniest bit, but they’re still too constricted for Robin’s liking. “Cool, do you want to talk about it?” Beast Boy shakes his head, pupils narrowing again, and a small growl resounds in the back of his throat. “Ok, that’s fine. Just know, I’m here to talk if you need it.” Beast Boy doesn’t seem to ease much more and Robin changes tactics. “Do you want to watch a movie or something?” Beast Boy nods. “In here or the lounge?” Robin takes the wrinkling of Beast Boy’s nose and furrowing of his brows at the second option as a rejection. “In here it is. Where’s your laptop?” Robin lets his gaze wonder the room, knowing Beast Boy isn’t going to tell him. 

A hand creeps out from under the bed and pulls open the top drawer of the bedside table. Beast Boy’s laptop sits at the top of it. “Thanks.” Robin pulls the laptop out and slides the drawer shut. “You’re gonna have to come out from under the bed.” Beast Boy retreats slightly, the hand sliding back under the bed. “It’s ok. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

For a moment, it looks as though Beast Boy isn’t going to come out from under, but gradually, Beast Boy crawls out. He’s still wrapped up in the duvet and once he’s out, a hand slides back under to retrieve the pillow. Robin stands up and lets Beast Boy tuck himself against the wall on the bottom bunk, pillow smothered in his grasp. Robin slides Beast Boy’s other pillow up a bit to lean against and then sits back down. He places the laptop on his lap and boots it up.

“Is your password still the same?” Robin taps the side of the keyboard. Beast Boy nods and when the screen loads, Robin types in the password ‘aqualadsucks’. “Netflix?” Another nod. “Netflix.” Robin agrees. He loads up Netflix and logs on, clicking on Beast Boy’s profile. “Do you wanna pick?” Beast Boy lets go of the pillow with one hand and reaches over. He goes onto his list and scrolls through it. He settles on My Neighbour Totoro. Normally, Robin would never admit to liking a Ghibli movie, but he knows Beast Boy needs this right now. Deep down he also knows that everyone on the team already knows he’s a sucker for a Ghibli film.

The film starts up and the two shuffle about to maximise comfort. Beast Boy even lets Robin have some of the duvet to cover his legs with. Beast Boy remains against the wall, curled up as tight as possible and Robin doesn’t miss the slight shifting of Beast Boy’s hands as he tries his best to hold in a transformation. A couple times, the ghost of a smile crosses Beast Boy’s face, but it doesn’t seem to hold as memories of the night before furrow his brows.

They’re about halfway through the film when Beast Boy finally relaxes enough to rest his head on Robin’s chest. His ears are still drooping, but for Robin, it’s enough. Robin allows his left hand to come up to fiddle with Beast Boy’s bed hair and his right hand reaches for his phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the more i look back at this chapter, the more disappointed i am with it. i drew from my own experiences when writing beast boy in this chapter. like when i'm upset and angry i tend to go very quiet and sometimes even mute. it used to be i'd get very aggressive and lash out before talking, but now, i tend to just go silent. i think beast boy's at an age where he's growing out of the instinct to last out immediately, but you can still see it crawling under his skin. yet he's not quite reached a point where he really knows what to do with that anger so he just goes quiet. garfield climbing under the bed draws from a previous fic i wrote called 'of bunk beds and mornings' where i wrote about my personal headcanon for why beast boy has a bunk bed. also i like to think that robin is the first person to comfort him when it comes to situations like this. the other's will gradually pop up to offer their own comfort, but robin is first. like robin sometimes sleeps in beast boy's room when either of them need it. raven probably wouldn't sleep in beast boy's room unless they were dating because she likes to set boundaries. cyborg doesn't technically sleep in a bed so if he were to sleep in beast boy's room it would be when they were on vacation or something where he doesn't have to worry too much about charging. starfire probably does sleep in beast boy's room but i feel like it's rare. that's not to say they don't all get together for group sleepovers. 
> 
> i feel like the group offers different support though. robin's just there and is ready to wait for beast boy to talk. starfire offers affection and kind words. cyborg offers a distraction or a way to work through emotions. and raven is there to tell the truth and offer advice, but is also good to talk things through with. 
> 
> anyway, i start college (officially) tomorrow and it's wild. they sent me so much work to do last week that i wanted to cry, but i did it. also, we reached 100 comments which is GREAT. i also drew some among us fanart but we don't need to talk about that. 
> 
> the next update will be on friday as usual.
> 
> today's question is what is/was your favourite subject in school?
> 
> mine was art just because like i love drawing. i hated how art was treated in school but like i got to draw for an hour so that was always fun, especially when it got to later on in school where you could choose what to draw. (aka when they decided to give you some freedom) 
> 
> IF I MISSED ANY WARNINGS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME KNOW!


	15. this chat's meant to be for surprise parties not angst fests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> robin gives an update

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> robin: boywonder  
> cyborg: baymax  
> starfire: sunshine  
> raven: mcrisback

<without beast boy> 16:48

boywonder: beast boy’s awake

baymax: how is he?

boywonder: quiet

boywonder: hasn’t spoken a word since he woke up

baymax: ooohhh thats not good

boywonder: i know

boywonder: we’re watching totoro atm

boywonder: it’s definitely calmed him down a little

boywonder: his body’s no longer trying to shift at least

baymax: hes in human form??

boywonder: yeah

mcrisback: Whatever happened must have been bad then

mcrisback: Especially if Beast Boy’s the one having trouble with his powers

sunshine: Beast Boy having trouble with his power is most unusual.

boywonder: he’ll be fine star

boywonder: i think this is more related to his emotions than his powers

sunshine: I just want Beast Boy to be ok

boywonder: me too star

boywonder: me too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short chapter for y'all.
> 
> we're in spooky month now yall! i'm started college properly this week. it's going alright so far. i mean i've actually been keeping up on work, but we're only 4 days in so we'll see how long that lasts oof. although, i did spend wednesday's biology lesson getting deadnamed by my teacher in front of the class. we only have her once a week, but i thought it was pretty rude of her to deadname me continuously during that time. (and of course i didn't want to say anything in front of my classmates) but like, on the enrolment form it asked for my preferred name and my id even says bobby. i'm gonna have to awkwardly drop her an email calling her out on it. like i'm hoping it's just a mistake where she printed out a list of legal names instead of preferred names by accident. but also she asked gabriel what she preferred to be called during register? and didn't ask anyone else? and before anyone says anything, my deadname is very commonly shortened to different names, but she didn't ask me what i preferred to be called? anyway rant over
> 
> the question today is who do y'all think red x is?
> 
> bluelilies134340 and i were discussing this in the week, mostly jokingly because it's me. there's always the thought that it's jason, which would be cool but like it messes up the timeline a lil bit. i joked that it was a dick grayson from another universe (nightwing: into the bootyverse) but then of course we realised if dick met another dick, well he'd be unstoppable. dick would defo be the type to flirt with himself. he'd be all 'that is america's ass' and there'd be no stopping him. i have no idea who it could be tho because you'd think if it was jason they'd just call him red hood and be done with it. then there's the fact that dick and red x share a voice actor. like trying to think of young villains who'd be vibing at the same time as dick's time as robin is hard. and anyone i can think of probably wouldn't be red x. maybe it really is dick from an alternate universe here to flirt with himself.
> 
> see y'all monday


	16. niles fucking caulder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beast boy talks. robin listens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so warning: this chapter's a lil angsty but like i'm not entirely sure what to tag it as. like i wanna say abuse but like it's ehhh

Robin thinks he must have drifted off at one point because last he remembers, they were watching Kiki’s Delivery Service not Howl’s Moving Castle. Robin sits up and stretches. His legs feel dead and he glances down to find Beast Boy curled up with his head on Robin’s lap.

Beast Boy meets Robin’s gaze. “Hey.” He mumbles. Beast Boy’s holding his phone and both his phone and laptop are plugged in.

“Hey.” Robin responds, squinting a bit to adjust to the bright light the monitor brings. “How long was I out?”

“About an hour.” Beast Boy gaze returns to his phone.

“Oh.” Robin replies dumbly. “Are you ok?”

Beast Boy looks back up at Robin. “Yeah.” He hesitates. “I mean I’m still pissed at the Doom Patrol, but it’s hard to be mad when Studio Ghibli’s so good.”

“May I ask what happened?” Robin tries. “You don’t have to tell me.” He adds after a second because he’s long since learnt that Beast Boy prefers to share information on his own terms where possible.

Beast Boy scowls and Robin heart leaps slightly. “Just Mento neglecting to tell me that Niles fucking Caulder would be on the mission.” This causes Robin to freeze. He’s never heard Beast Boy speak so ill of someone, not even Adonis or Slade.

Carefully, Robin asks. “Who’s Niles Caulder and do I need to kill him and hide the body?” He adds as a sort of joke.

Beast Boy bites his lip. “He’s the reason the Doom Patrol exists.” Robin can’t entirely follow and he wonders if this is how Starfire feels whenever he speaks in loaded metaphors.

“Is that a bad thing?” Robin states without thinking, but immediately backtracks. “Wait, no. Sorry, it’s definitely a bad thing, but like why is it a bad thing?”

Beast Boy growls and Robin almost wants to press pause on the whole conversation before Beast Boy ends up destroying his room again. “He-” Beast Boy halts, taking several deep breaths in an effort to calm himself. It doesn’t work, but Robin appreciates that Beast Boy’s at least trying to stay calm. “He-” Beast Boy sighs. “You know how the Doom Patrol were all born human?” Robin nods. “Well, other than Mento, he’s the reason- he’s the reason-” Beast Boy pauses and puts his phone down as his claws try to stretch their way out of his gloves. “He’s the reason any of us have powers.”

Robin stops dead. “What?”

“He’s the reason we have powers. He caused all our accidents.” Beast Boy bites out and his teeth are way too sharp. Robin wants to help, but he’s still processing. 

“How?” Robin asks first, but then his thoughts shift. “Why?”

“Because he’s a sick twisted little old man.” Beast Boy growls and tears burn at the corner of his eyes.

Robin catches on at that moment. “I’m so sorry.” He hesitates for a moment, then pulls Beast Boy into a hug. “I’m so so sorry.”

For a while they sit like that. Beast Boy growls and whines in Robin’s grasp, but never seems to shift any further than he has. Robin holds him and apologises as his mind whirs at the implications of what ‘Niles fucking Caulder’ did. All Robin can do is hope that he never meets the man because he cannot promise he wouldn’t murder the man on sight.

However, time passes and eventually Beast Boy’s trembling changes from restrained anger to a heavy pit of sadness. Robin’s hold adjusts to soft murmurs and reassuring hair strokes. Beast Boy sobs into Robin’s shoulder and he holds onto Robin tight. 

At one point, the thought hits Robin and it takes every single inch of willpower to keep his voice level as he asks one final question. “Beast Boy, who tranqued you?” And Robin prays that Beast Boy reassures him that it was simply the villain they were fighting; were they even fighting a villain? Beast Boy doesn’t reassure him.

Instead, Beast Boy looks Robin dead in the eyes and states. “Robin, I think we both know who tranqued me.” And oh God, Robin is going to kill Niles Caulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so context wise, niles causes most the doom patrol's accidents. steve typically creates his helmet because he wants to impress rita. gar is usually an exception. like most the time he gets bit and his parents give him the 'cure' which saves him. in this we're going with, niles is the reason gar ends up in the forest with the green monkey and he talks gar's parents into testing the cure on gar. niles tranquing gar is something that has happened in a previous continuity. this is it for gar talking about what happened. essentially tho, he went on a mission with the doom patrol where it turned out to be a mission with niles, gar got pissed off because it's niles fucking caulder and niles tranqued him.
> 
> i didn't go into too much detail in the written chapters because at the end of the day, this is a gc fic and i don't want to make it too heavy. this is like as dark as it will probably get for a looooong while.
> 
> i've been doing really well recently. like i've been keeping up with college and i've been drawing pretty regularly. i don't know what it is. maybe my summer holiday was finally long enough or maybe it's because i can't see any of my friends because of corona.
> 
> my question today is does anyone have any halloween song recommendations? because like my playlist is looking a lil smol and i can't survive october like this.
> 
> again, if you notice any warnings you think i've missed because i genuinely wasn't entirely sure what to tag on this chapter, PLEASE lmk


	17. jason todd wouldn't hesitate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's hating niles caulder hours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so they discuss murder a wee bit in this chapter so if that bothers you, i'd skip this chapter.
> 
> robin: boywonder  
> cyborg: baymax  
> raven: mcrisback  
> starfire: sunshine

<without beastboy> 4:31

boywonder: hey cy i need you to get all the info you can on niles caulder

baymax: ok

baymax: why?

boywonder: because he’s a horrible piece of shit who deserves to die

mcrisback: Wait you’re telling Niles Caulder was on that mission and Beast Boy still went on it?

boywonder: you know about niles caulder?

mcrisback: Yeah Beast Boy told me about him

boywonder: and you didn’t think to tell me?

mcrisback: He reassured me that Niles was no longer a part of the Doom Patrol

boywonder: yeah well apparently he’s back and mento didn’t tell beast boy

mcrisback: Mento did what?

mcrisback: I’m sorry I’m going to kill Mento

boywonder: as long as i get to kill niles

sunshine: I’m sorry, who is Niles Caulder and why are we killing him?

sunshine: What did he do to Beast Boy?

baymax: according to the info i got

baymax: hes a scientist and the founder of the doom patrol?

baymax: hes also super old if my info is anything to go by

boywonder: not old enough to drop dead apparently

mcrisback: Maybe we should assist him to the afterlife

baymax: as much as whatever he did must be pretty bad if even robin is considering murder

baymax: may i remind you that we are the teen titans and we cant go around killing people

mcrisback: Does he really count as human?

baymax: raven

baymax: we cant kill him

mcrisback: Boo

mcrisback: You suck

baymax: however there is a chance we could maybe ruin him financially

mcrisback: Ok

mcrisback: You suck less

boywonder: cy you’re a genius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok that's virtually it for the angst. (for now) the next few chapters are mostly fluff as a lil treat.
> 
> my computer took like 5 hours to update today, and i'm not even exaggerating. i mean it's my fault. i don't think it's been updated since april/may time so it was long overdue and i finally caved today.
> 
> also, i got a perry the platypus onesie so we out here vibing. now i can dress up as doof and perry.
> 
> my question today is what's your fav halloween movie?
> 
> mine's coraline. i just really like how wildly creepy it is and how even when everything seems alright at the start, everything just feels off. i don't like outright horror, i prefer like creepy vibes over jump scares so coraline is right up my alley. also, i just like stories which are creepy, but in a more playful and beautiful manner. like god, the corpse bride. that is some good shit. like you get the spooky vibes, but it's also a beautiful story. i also like the nightmare before christmas because it doubles as a halloween and christmas movie so you can watch it to death. that and i think i just like movies with music. like when victor plays the piano in corpse bridge with emily? chef's kiss.
> 
> i also don't vibe with a lot of mainstream horror because of the overuse of mental illness as a theme. like when someone portrayed with mental illness is the villain? oof nah. (i don't mind villains that have mental illnesses but when it's done to death i'm like ehhhh) like dc has a balance of villains who are mentally ill and those that are just bad guys. but dc also has superheroes that suffer from mental illness, so you get a balance.


	18. guess we failed the vibe check today :/

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and the world continues spinning around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kid flash: bbyflash  
> aqualad: fishie  
> robin: boywonder  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> herald: hornblower  
> bumblebee: buzzlightyear  
> beast boy: greenbean  
> speedy: boywonder2  
> cyborg: baymax

<titans assemble> 7:31

bbyflash: good morning titans

bbyflash: the vibe in the main tower is simply put bad today

fishie: oh no

fishie: what happened?

boywonder: don’t worry about it

boywonder: it’s being handled

horseshoe: that strangely doesn’t reassure me

boywonder: just don’t stress about it

boywonder: also jericho herald

boywonder: thanks for helping out the last couple days

hornblower: its all chill

hornblower: is everything ok with beast boy tho?

hornblower: because like if theres something going on im good to stay a couple days while yall sort it

boywonder: no it’s fine

boywonder: we’ve got it handled

boywonder: if need be i’ll just drag the freeloaders with me

bbyflash: *gasp*

bbyflash: im not a freeloader

bbyflash: i help out plenty

bbyflash: i even did the shopping last week

boywonder: you literally only brought pop tarts

buzzlightyear: wait what’s going on with beast boy?

<pm: greenbean> 7:46

boywonder: um the main gc’s asking about you

boywonder: i can lie if you want

greenbean: nah its fine

greenbean: i can do it

boywonder: ok

<titans assemble> 7:49

greenbean: its all good

greenbean: im fine

greenbean: was just a long mission :-)

boywonder2: biggest lie ever told but aight

boywonder2: we wont bug you

bbyflash: you know im curious how robin found out about our secret party

baymax: you know thats a good point

baymax: how did robin find out about the party?

fishie: would you look at the time

fishie: ive gotta go wash my fish

boywonder2: yes

boywonder2: and i have to help

bbyflash: oh now this is interesting

bbyflash: guess i gotta go do some snooping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo guess who can't spell the word 'sort' apparently. been spelling it 'sought' for some fucking reason.
> 
> it feels like years since we've heard from the main chat, but like it hasn't been.
> 
> i've been playing a lot of animal crossing recently because of the halloween update. been designing a few outfits on it mostly, which i would share but i don't have the able sisters yet oop. (also coach is finally leaving my island)
> 
> has anyone played genshin impact?
> 
> like i tried it but the controls combined with my shitty wifi threatened to give me a migraine, so if i play it again imma have to change the controls because i cannot deal with the fact that moving the mouse changes what direction you're facing. also, it's such a ripoff of botw that i wish it was on switch for the familiarity of controls. i mean i only defeated ganon like a couple days ago and i still gotta go back to find all the memories. (i just need to start finishing games overall oop)


	19. snoop doggy dog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> at it's heart, this is a crack fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kid flash: bbyflash  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> hotspot: fiyahhh  
> jericho: guitarsolo  
> herald: hornblower  
> bumblebee: buzzlightyear

<that hairdo smells fishy> 8:01

-bbyflash has created a new gc with buzzlightyear, hornblower, guitarsolo, horseshoe and fiyahhh-

-bbyflash has renamed the gc ‘that hairdo smells fishy’-

bbyflash: wanted my boi beast boy here for support but the originals seem busy so i guess yall will have to do

hornblower: rude

bbyflash: anyways

bbyflash: i have gathered yall for the simple aim of finding out whats going on with aqualad and speedy

bbyflash: because something smells fishy

fiyahhh: -10 points for that repeated pun

bbyflash: -20 points for simply existing

fiyahhh: *gasp*

bbyflash: moving on

bbyflash: from now on we’ll be using code names

bbyflash: you can address me as eagle one

horseshoe: no

bbyflash: bee codename is been there done that

horseshoe: when? also this is not happening

bbyflash: jinx is currently doing that

horseshoe: stoppppp

bbyflash: jericho is it happened once in a dream

horseshoe: i beg you stoooooooooooooppppp

bbyflash: hot shot code name is if i had to pick a dude

horseshoe: fair but also stop thissssssss

bbyflash: herald is

bbyflash: eagle two

hornblower: oh thank god

horseshoe: this is not happening kf

horseshoe: i will dump you

bbyflash: you wouldnt

horseshoe: try me bitch

bbyflash: shutting up now

horseshoe: good boy

buzzlightyear: wtf did i just witness

horseshoe: i’m in charge now

horseshoe: so lets get started

-horseshoe has changed bbyflash’s name to ‘snoopydog’-

-horseshoe has changed buzzlightyear’s name to ‘thespy’-

-horseshoe has changed fiyahhh’s name to ‘burnbabyburn’-

-horseshoe has changed hornblower’s name to ‘thegetawaycar’-

-horseshoe has changed guitarsolo’s name to ‘getoutofjailfreecard’-

-horseshoe has changed their name to ‘thebrains’-

burnbabyburn: ok i get everyone else’s names

burnbabyburn: but why mine?

thebrains: i’m a sucker for a pun

burnbabyburn: wow

burnbabyburn: i finally get yours and kfs relationship

thebrains: any other questions

getoutofjailfreecard: how am i a get out of jail free card? (•ิ_•ิ)?

thebrains: because no one’s going to be suspicious of you

thebrains: everyone else on the other hand screams trouble

snoopydog: especially me

thebrains: especially kid

thebrains: now here’s the plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayo we're back to crack this week. 
> 
> i've been so bad at responding to comments recently, i'm so sorry for it. i've just been a little all over the place recently. college has been keeping me busy and i can also sense my mental health is spiralling a lil again. but i'll be ok.
> 
> there might be a couple updates on a wednesday coming up again because i want to reach the end of this 'arc' before halloween so i can release a spooky chapter, but we'll see. i'm on half term very soon so i'll have time to write more chapters because i've only written up to chapter 29 so far and we're 10 away from reaching that oop.
> 
> OH RED X IS FINALLY MAKING HIS RETURN TO DC IN THE COMICS. i'm so hyped. i missed my sassy lil boi.
> 
> my question today is what's your favourite dc crack ship? mine would be dick grayson x cereal. it's just chaotic and full of meme potential.


	20. the main team need to stop being so soft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we interrupt this crack for some shameless fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> robin: boywonder  
> cyborg: baymax  
> raven: mcrisback  
> starfire: sunshine  
> beastboy: greenbean  
> kid flash: bbyflash

<the originals> 15:29

boywonder: sleepover tonight?

baymax: im down

mcrisback: Sure

sunshine: Oh that will be wonderful (ﾉ^_^)ﾉ

sunshine: I shall get some snacks yes?

mcrisback: I’ll go will her to make sure it’s not all mustard

boywonder: thanks

boywonder: beast boy you in?

greenbean: yeah

greenbean: that sounds nice

baymax: cool ill move the mattresses into the main room

boywonder: you good with choosing the movie's beast boy?

boywonder: and i’ll grab the blankets and pillows

greenbean: ok

<without beastboy> 15:59

boywonder: hey can you make sure you get beast boy’s favourite snacks?

mcrisback: We’re already on it Robin

boywonder: thanks

baymax: still

baymax: ive never seen beast boy so down

boywonder: i know

boywonder: kid flash has been sending him memes all day and he’s hardly even smiled at them

sunshine: At lunchtime, I asked if he wanted to go out flying with me and Raven and he turned us down

mcrisback: He’ll be fine guys

mcrisback: He just needs a couple days to get his mind in order

mcrisback: Stop stressing so much

<pm: bbyflash> 16:22

boywonder: as much as i love your’s and jinx’s company

boywonder: think you can get out of the tower for tonight

bbyflash: aye aye captain

bbyflash: were going to spy on titans east anyway

boywonder: ok

boywonder: don’t harass aqualad and speedy too much

bbyflash: wouldnt have to if youd tell us what you saw

boywonder: trust me

boywonder: if you knew you’d wish you didn’t

bbyflash: what did you see them making out or something?

bbyflash: robin?

bbyflash: robin?

bbyflash: oh god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone's island be looking super cool on animal crossing and my perfectionist mind be like 'everything needs to be orderly and in patterns or i'll be very upset.' honestly, my favourite part of any game is organising stuff. like i love building the house in sims. get bored playing with the sims in 5 minutes, but those 6 hours spent building that house? chef's kiss.
> 
> i'll be updating on wednesday this week and hopefully next wednesday. that all depends on whether i get my shit together and write a spooky chapter in time for halloween.
> 
> my question today largely depends on whether you've ever played animal crossing or not, but if you have, who's your favourite villager/npc?
> 
> i really like sable and daisy. they're both very cute. daisy was the first villager i got on my island that wasn't lowkey kinda ugly. she's just very sweet and reminds me a lot of isabelle.


	21. au where kid flash only has super speed when he's wearing heelies anyone? jk jk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> copy cat squad unite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kid flash: bbyflash/snoopydog  
> bumblebee: buzzlightyear/thespy  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> herald: hornblower  
> speedy: boywonder2  
> aqualad: fishie  
> mas: thing1  
> menos: thing2  
> hot spot: fiyahhh  
> jericho: guitarsolo

<titans assemble> 2:31

bbyflash: i know i told robin id avoid the tower tonight

bbyflash: but i went back because i forgot my heelies

bbyflash: and look

[ -bbyflash sent a photo- ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ&ab_channel=RickAstleyVEVO)

buzzlightyear: that’s actually the cutest thing ever

bbyflash: i know

horseshoe: god beast boy looks so young

buzzlightyear: well i mean he is one of the youngest members

buzzlightyear: from what i remember only like mas, menos and raven’s kids are younger than him

hornblower: wait raven has kids

buzzlightyear: they’re not actually her kids

hornblower: oh thank god

hornblower: i was about to start throwing fists

horseshoe: oh you mean the brats raven babysits from time to time

buzzlightyear: yeah

buzzlightyear: melvin, timmy and teether i think

bbyflash: you forgot bobby

buzzlightyear: who?

bbyflash: bobby?

bbyflash: the massive teddy bear?

buzzlightyear: the what?

boywonder2: wait bobbys real?

boywonder2: i thought he was imaginary?

bbyflash: yeah he is

bbyflash: melvin can imagine things to life

boywonder2: well thats terrifying

bbyflash: terrifyingly cool

bbyflash: also i lowkey want to have a sleepover now

bbyflash: hey sleepover at titans east?

boywonder2: you really want to have a sleepover with me, aqualad, bumblebee, mas and menos?

bbyflash: well i mean jinx too

bbyflash: and jericho, herald and hot shot

boywonder2: since when were those 3 here?

<that hairdo smells fishy> 2:50

snoopydog: fuck

thespy: it’s fine

thespy: i’ve got you covered

<titans assemble> 2:52

buzzlightyear: they were sending me some info on a potential threat

buzzlightyear: it was late so i told them they could stay the night

fishie: something smells fishy but aight

bbyflash: anyway sleepover?

fishie: sure

boywonder2: ok

fiyahhh: yaaaassss

hornblower: calm

thing1: si

thing2: si

guitarsolo: ok (｡●́‿●̀｡)

buzzlightyear: fine

bbyflash: noiccceee

bbyflash: ill bring jinx

bbyflash: everyone grab a mattress and assemble

bbyflash: omg

bbyflash: titans go!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> click the link for a lovely surprise :)))))))
> 
> this chapter is sponsored by when i brought heelies. i cannot use said heelies because i have the balance of a newborn baby, but i own them.
> 
> also imma tell yall about the dream i had last night. i already told bluelilies134340 about it when i woke up, but here we go. 
> 
> so the titans were on a ship woo. dunno what they were doing but they were sailing in their wee lil boat having a good time, when cyborg's like 'yo send all the food over' and robin and beast boy were like 'whaddup???' anyway, cyborg's like there's this massive fuck off fish that's trying to eat us so if it aint sated with the food from the ship get ready to abandon ship. robin's of course like 'yo can't we just scare the fish off', but this fish is G I A N T. like this fish is the size of the statue of liberty, so the titans end up abandoning ship.
> 
> THEN, they notice zuko (AS IN ZUKO FROM ATLA) is on his ship nearby. and for some reason his ship is partly a giant sausage. like it still has them fire nation ship elements but half of it is just a sausage. also, it's season 1 hair zuko so ehhhhh. anyway the titans are all like 'YO ZUKO ABANDON SHIP OR YOULL GET EATEN BY A MONSTER FISH' and zukos like wtf which is valid. but then he spots the fish and is like 'OH SHIT'. anyway he goes and grabs iroh and they abandon ship. hopefully there were no other crewmen. 
> 
> ANYWAY the fish eats zuko's ship and then moves on to eat a fire nation island with all the fire nation people still on it. so rip roku's homeland again i guess. then i woke up. i hope that fishy bastard is satisfied with all the crimes they committed. 
> 
> thank you for tuning into my dream story. anyone else had any wild ass dreams lately?


	22. guess who's back? back again? beast boy's back! tell a friend!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the title says it all :)))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beast boy: greenbean  
> raven: mcrisback  
> kid flash: bbyflash  
> bumblebee: buzzlightyear  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> cyborg: baymax  
> starfire: sunshine  
> robin: boywonder

<titans assemble> 9:43

greenbean: cant beleeve the titans r copycats

greenbean: does dat make us trend setters?

mcrisback: Your spelling is atrocious 

mcrisback: But yes

greenbean: noicceee

bbyflash: BEAST BOY

bbyflash: MY BRO

bbyflash: MY MEMEMATE

greenbean: KID FLASH

bbyflash: bro~

greenbean: bro~

buzzlightyear: well there goes any peace we had

horseshoe: you say that like we had peace in the first place

buzzlightyear: true

buzzlightyear: and you’re dating one of them

horseshoe: i know

horseshoe: i must be insane

bbyflash: shhhh

bbyflash: the return of beast boy calls for celebration

greenbean: all u can eat buffay?

bbyflash: yasssss

baymax: you had me at buffet

sunshine: An all you can eat buffet? That sounds wonderful! ヽ(^o^)ノ

boywonder: it’ll have to wait

boywonder: there’s been an alert

greenbean: ure killing me here

boywonder: we’ll go out after

greenbean: noice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y'all enjoyed the rick roll on wednesday :)))) honestly, it was meant to be a cute drawing of the originals sleeping but ya boi forgot to draw it oop
> 
> i was literally typing my end notes 5 minutes ago and windows was like 'you will be signed out in less than one minute' and i panicked because i knew i wasn't gonna be able to get all my end notes down in time (mostly because i had yet to think of them)
> 
> anyway, i am currently in self-isolation. someone on my course tested positive and so i have to isolate til the 29th. (the last time i was actually in college was a whole week ago, but it was probably a student who's only in my biology class and not my chemistry class, thus why it's til the 29th and not the 30th.) i'm doing alright. i mean not going out doesn't bother me, but being stuck with my mum and my sister is a pain. it's more a pain because our wifi can't cope with all 3 of us working from home so my wifi's been dipping a lot the last few days. but other than that, everything's going alright. i haven't had any symptoms or anything and neither have my sister and mum, but we'll see how everything goes.
> 
> onto the update timetable for the next week. there will be an update tomorrow and sunday. you'll be getting your usual monday and friday updates too. there'll probably be a wednesday update as well. so at the moment you're getting updates on the 24th, 25th, 26th, 28th and the 30th. there might be more. i'm still writing the halloween chapters so at the moment there are 3 spooky chapters, but i'm aiming to fill the whole week (26th - 31st) with spooky chapters. however, we'll see how i'm going by monday. mostly because i also need to write some more chapters to carry us through til christmas. because i've been pushing through this 'beastboy arc' faster than expected, i only have 5 chapters to post after halloween, but of course, i still have more ideas to write for this fic.
> 
> so, the 'beast boy arc' will finish on the 25th, then we have spooky week. then, we move into a mini sort of speedy and aqualad arc. and that's where i'm up to so far. however, i do have some ideas for some among us themed chapters because i love among us. i also have some other more like random ideas for just more crack chapters. hopefully, that should take us to christmas where i'll write a few christmas chapters and then the next batch of chapters. (i won't be doing any thanksgiving themed chapters. i'm british so i don't really celebrate it.)
> 
> what i'm trying to say i will be writing chapters next week, so if you have any scenes or situations you want to see, now is your time to let me know. so i guess the question this week is do you have any situations you'd like to see?


	23. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> top 10 photos taken before disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beast boy: greenbean  
> kid flash: bbyflash  
> cyborg: baymax  
> hot spot: fiyahhh  
> aqualad: fishie  
> speedy: boywonder2  
> robin: boywonder  
> herald: hornblower  
> jericho: guitarsolo  
> bumblebee: buzzlightyear  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> pantha: absfordays  
> kole: toughcookie  
> argent: itsnotaphase

<titans assemble> 12:42

greenbean: LUNCHTIME

bbyflash: YAAAASSSS

bbyflash: who’s coming?

baymax: the originals will be there ofc

fiyahhh: im down

fishie: as excited as i am about the return of beast boy

fishie: im gonna have to pass

fishie: i have plans

boywonder2: ive got plans too

greenbean: oh?

bbyflash: oh? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

greenbean: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

bbyflash: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

greenbean: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

bbyflash: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

fishie: stop

boywonder2: i hate it here

boywonder: as much as i love bully speedy day

boywonder: who is actually coming?

hornblower: ill be there

guitarsolo: sorry i have a family thing -.-

hornblower: oof

hornblower: do you want me to go with you?

guitarsolo: no it’ll be fine :)))))

hornblower: alright

hornblower: but if you need anything

guitarsolo: i know thanks

buzzlightyear: titans east are gonna have to sit this one out

buzzlightyear: we just got an alert

bbyflash: so much for those plans speedy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

boywonder2: fuck you

bbyflash: id rather you didnt

boywonder: right so

boywonder: so far it’s me, beast boy, cyborg, raven, starfire, herald, hot spot, kid flash and i assume jinx?

horseshoe: rude

horseshoe: kid and i arent attached at the hip

boywonder: are you coming?

horseshoe: yes

boywonder: that’s all i needed to know

boywonder: anyone else coming?

absfordays: you had me at buffet

toughcookie: gnarrk and i are gonna attempt to come

toughcookie: but there’s a chance gnarrk will get too overwhelmed

boywonder: that’s cool

boywonder: we’ll save you seats anyway

itsnotaphase: im coming

itsnotaphase: the likelihood of something burning down is too interesting for me not to

boywonder: right

boywonder: please don’t burn anything down

bbyflash: no promises

boywonder: so that’s me, beast boy, cyborg, raven, starfire, herald, hot spot, kid flash, jinx, pantha, argent and potentially gnarrk and kole

boywonder: this is gonna end in disaster isn’t it?

greenbean: yup

greenbean: i cant wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen if a group of superpowered teens came strolling into my all you can eat buffet, i'd just instantly quit. (i mean if a group of regular teens came into my all you can eat buffet, i'd probably quit but that's not the point.) aka teens are scary.
> 
> i was like im gonna write loads today, but all i did was take some notes for some future chapter ideas then stare into space and think about playing sims. but that's ok, i still have sunday and monday to write spooky chapters and then i have the whole week to write the chapters that are gonna carry us through to christmas.
> 
> i don't actually remember writing this chapter.
> 
> no questions today as there's only 24 hours til the next chapter. oop. (that and i can't think of any questions) oh i will reiterate yesterday's point tho. if you have anything you wanna see in this fic, lemme know.


	24. we save the city 24/7 surely we deserve to be a tad chaotic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the end of an arc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> robin: boywonder  
> bumblebee: buzzlightyear  
> kid flash: bbyflash  
> cyborg: baymax  
> beast boy: greenbean  
> raven: mcrisback  
> kole: toughcookie  
> hot spot: fiyahhh  
> speedy: boywonder2  
> aqualad: fishie  
> argent: itsnotaphase  
> jinx: horseshoe

<titans assemble> 15:22

boywonder: we got kicked out

buzzlightyear: what happened?

bbyflash: aight

bbyflash: gather around for story time kids

baymax: WE DID NOTHING WRONG

boywonder: that’s not true

bbyflash: STORY TIME KIDS

greenbean: im telling it

greenbean: cuz yall been on fun trips without me resentley

bbyflash: you have the floor

greenbean: aight so we all got seeted 

greenbean: and the staff alreddy looked a tad annoyed

greenbean: cuz there were so many of us

greenbean: but they surved us anyway

boywonder: probably should have phoned ahead to warn the poor restaurant

greenbean: hindsite is 20 20

mcrisback: Someone else please tell the story

mcrisback: I’m getting a headache from all the spelling errors

greenbean: homophobia

mcrisback: So you can’t spell ‘already’ or ‘seated’, but you can spell ‘homophobia’?

greenbean: yup

mcrisback: I’m going to go meditate

bbyflash: aight im taking over before the homophobes riot

greenbean: they already started

bbyflash: guess i gotta tell this story quick

bbyflash: right so there was a candle on the table

bbyflash: and thats already baaaddddd

toughcookie: I BLEW IT OUT BEFORE ANYTHING COULD GO WRONG

baymax: YEAH GNARRK AND KOLE ARE INNOCENT

bbyflash: whipped

baymax: i will fight you

bbyflash: anyway the candle was out

bbyflash: however hot spot didnt realise kole had blown it out

fiyahhh: I SAID SORRY

boywonder: i really hope the justice league doesn’t find out about this

boywonder2: you say that like batman doesnt know everything

boywonder: right i’m gonna go steal the t-jet and fly far away

baymax: keep your hands off her

bbyflash: MOVING ON

bbyflash: hot spot relit the candle and there was a minor accident

buzzlightyear: did y’all actually set the place on fire?

bbyflash: only slightly

greenbean: it was grate

bbyflash: anyway raven put out the fire

bbyflash: and cy and kole calmed down gnarrk

fishie: wait how did you go from lighting a candle to the place catching on fire?

toughcookie: gnarrk may have tried to blow out the candle by smashing it with a chair :-)

fishie: im-

toughcookie: he was trying his best

bbyflash: somehow the staff let us stay there even after that

boywonder: i paid for the damages plus extra

bbyflash: ahh bribery

bbyflash: we all go to get food

bbyflash: well we all race to get food before gnarrk and cy reach the buffet

greenbean: i didnt

bbyflash: only because you knew they wouldnt go after the vegan options

greenbean: sometimes it helps to be the only vegan on the team

fishie: i mean i dont eat fish-

greenbean: you still eat other meat so get out

horseshoe: kid complains about the others as if he doesn’t also eat a shit ton

bbyflash: ok but i had to restock after using my superspeed to beat cy and gnarrk to the buffet

horseshoe: you could have at least gotten me a plate

bbyflash: sorry i was busy eating

bbyflash: but anyway-

bbyflash: the staff got stressed when cy and gnarrk were basically eating all of their food

baymax: the sign said all you can eat

boywonder: yes but the staff weren’t expecting 13 superheroes to come charging in

bbyflash: anyway i think it got to a point where they couldnt take anymore and they kicked us out

boywonder: you’re leaving out how you, beastboy, cy, argent, hot spot and herald kept challenging each other to down their pepsis

bbyflash: hey i did nothing

boywonder: you wouldn’t stop running round

boywonder: and beastboy wouldn’t stop shifting

itsnotaphase: yeah the lads were outta control

boywonder: oh just the lads?

itsnotaphase: oop

itsnotaphase: time to water my cat

boywonder: if i remember correctly you were using your powers to make ramps and slides

itsnotaphase: i plead the fifth

boywonder: i can’t take you guys anywhere

bbyflash: sorry mom

boywonder: nope

boywonder: i quit

bbyflash: wow cant believe were all orphans now

greenbean: damn not again

bbyflash: aohfgorhgureghu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and with that the beast boy arc is over. now it's time to get spookyyyyyy.
> 
> i'm gonna leave the amount of chapters being released this week a mystery, purely because i spent all of today playing sims and then played some among us.
> 
> i got impostor so much tonight. my first 3 games were impostor and i haven't played in a while so i was lost. even when i finally started getting crewmate people still thought i sounded sus. it was chaotic. 
> 
> i'll start asking questions again tomorrow, but like among us always leaves me on an adrenaline high which makes it super hard for me to sit down and focus on typing.
> 
> for now, i hope you're ready for the relatively short spooky arc :))))


	25. time to get spooky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the chapter summaries character limit was too smol for my one braincell yet i tried anyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boys and girls of every age wouldn't you like to see something strange? Come with us and you will see this, our town of Halloween. This is Halloween, this is Halloween. Pumpkins scream in the dead of night. This is Halloween, everybody make a scene. Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright. It's our town, everybody scream in this town of Halloween. I am the one hiding under your bed, teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red. I am the one hiding under your stairs, fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair. This is Halloween, this is Halloween. Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! In this town we call home, everyone hail to the pumpkin song. In this town, don't we love it now?Everybody's waiting for the next surprise. 'Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can something's waiting no to pounce, and how you'll scream! This is Halloween: Red 'n' black, and slimy green. Aren't you scared? Well, that's just fine. Say it once, say it twice, take a chance and roll the dice. Ride with the moon in the dead of night. Everybody scream, everybody scream in our town of Halloween! I am the clown with the tear-away face, here in a flash and gone without a trace. I am the "who" when you call, "Who's there?" I am the wind blowing through your hair. I am the shadow on the moon at night filling your dreams to the brim with fright. This is Halloween, this is Halloween. Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Tender lumplings everywhere; life's no fun without a good scare. That's our job, but we're not mean in our town of Halloween. In this town don't we love it now? Everybody's waiting for the next surprise. Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back and scream like a banshee make you jump out of your skin. This is Halloween, everybody scream. Won't ya please make way for a very special guy? Our man Jack is King of the Pumpkin patch! Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King, now! This is Halloween, this is Halloween. Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! In this town we call home everyone hail to the pumpkin song! La la la la la la la la la la (Halloween! Halloween!) La la la la la la la la la la (Halloween! Halloween!)
> 
> DISCLAIMER: This is Halloween was written by Danny Elfman 
> 
> robin: boywonder  
> beast boy: greenbean  
> kid flash: bbyflash  
> raven: mcrisback  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> cyborg: baymax  
> starfire: sunshine  
> argent: intsnotaphase  
> aqualad: fishie  
> speedy: boywonder2  
> jericho: guitarsolo  
> herald: hornblower  
> bumblebee: buzzlightyear  
> mas: thing1  
> menos: thing2  
> tram: trolley  
> thunder: bfg  
> lightning: sparkysparkyboomboomman  
> bushido: Bushido  
> wildebeest: minotaur  
> hot spot: fiyahhh  
> kole: toughcookie  
> red star: radioactive  
> pantha: absfordays

<titans assemble> 00:05

greenbean: we r 5 minuts into spooky month and no 1 has spooky names

bbyflash: *lemongrab voice* [UNNACCEPTABLE](https://i.gifer.com/A50Y.gif)

mcrisback: Even I’m disappointed in us

baymax: RISE AND SHINE TITANS WE GOT WORK TO DO

boywonder: i’m not one to carelessly use @’s but

boywonder: @everyone WAKE UP SLUTS

horseshoe: i feel like i should be offended being called a slut by you

boywonder: i’m a hoe not a slut

boywonder: or at least a reformed hoe

boywonder: starfire is the only one for me

greenbean: did robin just show an emoshun?

bbyflash: a historic moment in time

sunshine: Oh how wonderful!

sunshine: I love you too, Robin <3<3<3

boywonder: i’m postponing this spooky meeting to cuddle starfire

bbyflash: NO

bbyflash: you can cuddle starfire while you put up halloween decs

boywonder: noice

itsnotaphase: y’all r taking too LONG

<itsnotaphase changed the chat name to ‘dial 666 to summon the titans’>

<itsnotaphase changed bbyflash’s name to ‘worldwarzzombie’>

<itsnotaphase changed greenbean’s name to ‘steinsmonster’>

<itsnotaphase changed boywonder’s name to ‘morticiaaddams’>

<itsnotaphase changed fishie’s name to ‘jacksparrow’>

<itsnotaphase changed baymax’s name to ‘theterminator’>

<itsnotaphase changed mcrisback’s name to ‘anactualdemon’>

<itsnotaphase changed boywonder2’s name to ‘thedoppelganger’>

<itsnotaphase changed guitarsolo’s name to ‘casperthefriendlyghost’>

<itsnotaphase changed hornblower’s name to ‘thepiedpiper’>

<itsnotaphase changed horseshoe’s name to ‘fridaythe13th’>

<itsnotaphase changed buzzlightyear’s name to ‘honeyishrunkthekids’>

<itsnotaphase changed thing1’s name to ‘geminitwin1’>

<itsnotaphase changed thing2’s name to ‘geminitwin2’>

<itsnotaphase changed sunshine’s name to ‘spookybaby’>

<itsnotaphase changed trolley’s name to ‘anglerfish’>

<itsnotaphase changed bfg’s name to ‘himbobutmakeitspooky’>

<itsnotaphase changed sparksparkyboomboomman’s name to ‘itsalive’>

<itsnotaphase changed bushido’s name to ‘killbill’>

<itsnotaphase changed minotaur’s name to ‘godzilla’>

<itsnotaphase changed fiyahhh’s name to ‘silenthill’>

<itsnotaphase changed toughcookie’s name to ‘reversemedusa’>

<itsnotaphase changed radioactive’s name to ‘unclefester’>

<itsnotaphase changed their name to ‘hallowqueen’>

hallowqueen: and because i know pantha doesnt celebrate halloween

<itsnotaphase changed absforday’s name to ‘thepinkpanther’>

hallowqueen: spooky month has started get yo pumpkins ready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thinking up spooky names took so long. i wanted to cry. i was really proud of hot spots name tho. for those who are unaware, the silent hill film takes inspo for it's location from centralia, pennsylvania. centralia is a town which is essentially on fire. there is an fire in the mines that has been burning since 1962. it's really interesting to read about. if you have questions about any other names let me know but most of them should be self explanatory.
> 
> considering how basic the names are for spooky seasons, i did a lot of research for this week. like i was looking into different types of radiation trying to think of an appropriate name for red star. i spent like a solid 2 hours trying to remember the elephant's foot for red star and then remembered it was connected to the chernobyl disaster, which is also insane to read about. like so much went down in the chernobyl disaster and there were so many people who sacrificed themselves just to protect others from exposure. 
> 
> like there are so many events that we all have an awareness of but don't know the full details of. like i used to hear people talk about chernobyl and not really understand. it's like i'm trans and defo not straight, but there's so much lgbtq+ history that i don't know. and i should know more, but also, it's impossible to know every event that has ever occurred. 
> 
> we are into spooky week and i finished all the chapters for spooky week today so i can now reveal that we'll be getting updates everyday this week until saturday. after that, we will return to our usual schedule of monday's and friday's. 
> 
> the question today is what sort of halloween movie do you prefer? do you prefer horror? gore? creepy vibes? slashers? thrillers? or do you just not care for spooky season movies? (which is valid)
> 
> like i'm not a big fan of horror. i don't like jumpscares. they give me way too much adrenaline and make it impossible for me to sleep. i like gore, but gore's often accompanied with jumpscares and im not a fan of that. i do like creepy vibes tho. like i love movies that leave you a little unsettled, but are still pretty fun. like coraline, corpse bride, nightmare before christmas, hocus pocus, addams family and the scooby doo movies. those are what i tend to stick to over halloween. i might watch shaun of the dead if im feeling it because that's a fun zombie movie.


	26. let me see what you have! un cuchillo! NO!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and damian's not even present :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> raven: anactualdemon  
> robin: morticiaaddams  
> cyborg: theterminator  
> beast boy: steinsmonster  
> kid flash: worldwarzzombie  
> aqualad: jacksparrow  
> bumblebee: honeyishrunkthekids  
> speedy: thedoppelganger  
> sunshine: spookybaby  
> jinx: fridaythe13th  
> jericho: casperthefriendlyghost  
> herald: thepiedpiper  
> hot spot: silenthill  
> argent: hallowqueen  
> kole: reversemedusa

<dial 666 to summon the titans> 6:06

anactualdemon: Will someone please tell Beast Boy to stop carving pumpkins with his claws?

morticiaaddams: i would but im too busy hugging starfire

theterminator: sorry raven

theterminator: i already tried

steinsmonster: do you really trust me with a carving nife?

anactualdemon: Good point

anactualdemon: Claws it is

worldwarzzombie: GUYS JINX HAS A KNIFE

theterminator: OH HELL NO

jacksparrow: im so glad that titans east is removed from that breed of chaos

honeyishrunkthekids: so you say

honeyishrunkthekids: but speedy just made the mistake of putting down his knife

jacksparrow: THE TWINS JUST WENT PAST FUCK

thedoppelganger: i have made a fatal error

worldwarzzombie: f

steinsmonster: f

anactualdemon: F

spookybaby: F

theterminator: f

fridaythe13th: f

casperthefriendlyghost: f

thepiedpiper: f

silenthill: i have never been so thankful to be in titans south

hallowqueen: i love titans north

hallowqueen: i get to watch gnarrk attempt to use kole to carve a pumpkin

hallowqueen: so far he has ended up chopping straight through 8 pumpkins

hallowqueen: he’s crying

jacksparrow: help him you monster

hallowqueen: there’s no need

hallowqueen: he’s learnt

[ <hallowqueen sent a video to the chat> ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfbb4yRBH64&ab_channel=AnimalTerrain)

theterminator: lemme just save that for um work reasons

steinsmonster: hes blushin

[<steinsmonster sent a photo to the chat>](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ&ab_channel=RickAstleyVEVO)

reversemedusa: lemme just save that 

reversemedusa: also for work reasons

hallowqueen: she was blushing but she turned back into a crystal before i could get a photo rip

hallowqueen: gnarrk was also smiling

worldwarzzombie: ah young love

theterminator: i will leak your internet search history

worldwarzzombie: sorry gotta dash

fridaythe13th: god forbids the world finds out that kid flash spends all his time googling cute cat videos so he can cry at them and his secret ff account

worldwarzzombie: YOU COULD HAVE LIED JINX

fridaythe13th: ah im sorry

fridaythe13th: my boyfriend spends all his time watching porn

fridaythe13th: hours and hours of porn

worldwarzzombie: WELL NOW ITS OBVIOUS THATS A LIE

theterminator: well now my threat is meaningless

theterminator: thanks a lot jinx

steinsmonster: drop his ff @

steinsmonster: i dare u

morticiaaddams: i regret assembling this team

anactualdemon: Yeah I bet it was so much better with Batman

morticiaaddams: do not mention that name

morticiaaddams: you’ll summon him

worldwarzzombie: damn its really dial 666 to summon the batdaddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly, i need to do titans north and south more justice. i keep focusing on the originals and titans east too much. i mean, the focus will probably remain on them just because i'm more familiar with those two teams, but i keep forgetting about my baby kole.
> 
> i spoke a little bit with bluelilies134340 about my writing progress for this fic. i don't actually have a set plan for this fic. like i just write what i feel. occasionally there will be a small arc, but most the time it's just what i think of first. it's why there will be a few crack chapters that are unrelated and then suddenly a few related chapters. i do aim to give as many of the titans mini focus arcs as possible because it's what they deserve, but other than that i just have ideas and then write them. 
> 
> when it comes to physically writing the chapters, i write in bursts. like i wrote about 30 chapters at the start of september, which is what carried us up to halloween. over the weekend, i rushed through some halloween chapters because i didn't want to write any seasonal chapters until it was actually that season. like i won't write any christmas chapters until at least december. 
> 
> on the note of holidays, i am mainly focusing on christian holidays. mainly because i don't feel familiar enough with most non-christian holidays to write about them. this might change in the future (aka if i get enough time to read up on other holidays) but for now this is how it is. and for that i'm sorry, but i don't want to go into a holiday without enough knowledge of the customs and traditions to write about it. so i do apologise for that.
> 
> anyway, i write in bursts in my holidays or when inspiration hits. so i'll write hopefully write at least 16 chapters this week, which would give me enough chapters to get past christmas with my monday and friday releases. i'm currently at 6/16. of course, i'll aim to write more than 16 so i'm safe in case life does try to fuck me with a chainsaw. (which i wouldn't be suprised by because ya know it's 2020)
> 
> but that's why i asked if people had requests/ideas over the weekend because i'm currently writing more chapters so i'll end up writing them. of course, a few of them i've shelved for now because i got quite a few beast boy centric ideas and i wanna give some of the other members a chance to shine before giving him another arc. of course, some of them will be slipped into chapters because they're less bulky requests.
> 
> i just wanted to give a shout out to everyone who has been reading this fic, giving kudos, and everyone who has commented so far. i appreciate it so much. like thank you all so much. i'm so grateful that you read this mess of a fic and some of you even respond to my chaotic brain fart filled end notes. i don't deserve y'all.
> 
> anyway, i'll see you all tomorrow for the next instalment of the spooky season saga.


	27. we need more horror films with the true horror: the cishet white man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the true mvp of halloween is sass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kid flash: worldwarzzombie  
> robin: morticiaaddams  
> beast boy: steinsmonster  
> raven: anactualdemon  
> jinx: fridaythe13th  
> speedy: thedoppelganger  
> aqualad: jacksparrow  
> cyborg: theterminator

<dial 666 to summon the titans> 10:21

worldwarzzombie: spooky movie night at titans tower anyone?

morticiaaddams: do i need to remind you that you don’t technically live at titans tower?

worldwarzzombie: and?

morticiaaddams: your manners as a guest are questionable at best

worldwarzzombie: sorry rich boi that my manners dont meet the capitalist standard

steinsmonster: oof go off king

worldwarzzombie: shh

worldwarzzombie: youre also a rich boi

steinsmonster: i-

steinsmonster: u rite

worldwarzzombie: anyway spooky movie night at titans tower anyone??

worldwarzzombie: and by spooky movies i mean corpse bride, nightmare before christmas and coraline because i dont care for actual horror

worldwarzzombie: too many cases of neurodivergent people being portrayed as the antagonist in horror films

anactualdemon: I can’t believe I actually agree with Kid Flash for once

worldwarzzombie: i have one braincell and its dedicated to calling out peoples bigotry

fridaythe13th: god i love you

worldwarzzombie: awww love you too

morticiaaddams: can we add the addams family to that watch list?

worldwarzzombie: obviously rich boi

steinsmonster: noice

steinsmonster: im gonna wear my perry the platypus onesie

anactualdemon: You can’t spell right, but you can spell platypus?

steinsmonster: yeah and?

anactualdemon: I quit

hallowqueen: ohhh are we dressing up for this movie night?

worldwarzzombie: yes absolutely

thedoppelganger: did beast boy just say hes wearing a perry the platypus onesie?

steinsmonster: yeah and?

thedoppelganger: you can literally turn into a platypus??

thedoppelganger: and youd be green???

steinsmonster: back up

steinsmonster: u fink perry is green?

thedoppelganger: yeah? i mean he is??

steinsmonster: perry is teal you uneducaited turnip

thedoppelganger: did beast boy just call ME an uneducated turnip?

thedoppelganger: me?

thedoppelganger: when hes the one with spelling errors falling out his ass?

jacksparrow: i mean you did think perry was green

steinsmonster: 1. this aint even my 1st langwage

steinsmonster: 2. i didnt realy get a chance to go to skool

worldwarzzombie: go off king

theterminator: why are bb and kf so sassy today?

worldwarzzombie: the power of halloween ma dude

fridaythe13th: mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got bullied for not asking a question yesterday :/ jk jk
> 
> why are nintendo games so expensiiiivvvveee??? i considered getting mario kart today but omg it's so much money. technically my sister does own mario kart but she'll be moving out in a couple months so i'll be mario kartless.
> 
> also, i had a discussion with bluelilies134340 yesterday on tumblr, and i might do a thanksgiving chapter. might being a key word. however, i'm focusing on getting the necessary chapters done before i even consider it. aka, blue gave me a brief run down of thanksgiving and then dragged it as a holiday which is valid. like i don't celebrate thanksgiving, but the titans do technically live in america so they'd probably celebrate some version of the holiday. however, i wouldn't be doing a whole bunch of chapters for it like i've done for halloween because 1. i don't get thanksgiving off because i'm not american and 2. i don't particularly care too much for it (i just like the idea of the titans having a chaotic group meal while dragging the holiday.)
> 
> i actually own a perry the platypus onesie. i bought it at the start of october (i might have mentioned before but i don't dare reread early chapters unless i'm actively checking for major plot holes because it makes me cringe.) i reread y'alls comments tho because some of them are funny. we're also fast approaching 200 comments. like i wonder whether we'll hit 30 chapters or 200 comments first? (probs 30 chapters because i'm uploading every day at the moment)
> 
> kf's feelings about actual horror films is based off some of my own horror films. i'm just tired of the tropes where it's like 'oh guess we're going to the spooky abandoned asylum i hope no one kills us here :/' or where the antagonist is revealed to be neurodivergent or they end up having a disability or because they have a disfigurement. like there's so many cases of the villain having a split personality or something. i'm tired of it.
> 
> on that note, does anyone have any book recs on stories with good representation of minorities?
> 
> i read 'the binding' by bridget collins like a year and a half ago. i started reading it because the world she created sounded cool, like it centres around the idea that there are 'binders' who take people's memories (with some form of consent) to write stories. i read it not realising the main character was gay until half way through. i was like wow some lgbt rep. (i need to reread it though because the first time i read it i feel like i missed a lot.) also, because like i'm pretty sure it was good rep, but my brain might have been so shocked to realise emmett's gay to pay attention to much else. it's set in the 19th century too so i do have to warn that there is some homophobia from other characters. if you want a full trigger warning list though, you'd probs wanna check does the dog die. i'd also say that it is adult fiction so you youngsters best steer clear.
> 
> i've also heard that rick riordan's work is pretty good for representation. i've not actually read anything by him surprisingly. although, i've not read too many physical books recently, been mainly sticking to fanfics where i know i can find trans rep. i mean a lot of adult fiction doesn't appeal to me because it can sometimes be too intense or sometimes too sexual, and i prefer adventure stories. (honestly, i picked the binding up out of pure luck.)


	28. marvel exists in this universe only to make superhero movies that make the real superheroes roll their eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's a movie night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> raven: anactualdemon  
> jericho: casperthefriendlyghost  
> jinx: fridaythe13th  
> argent: hallowqueen  
> kid flash: worldwarzzombie  
> robin: morticiaaddams  
> cyborg: theterminator  
> starfire: spookybaby  
> beast boy: steinsmonster  
> hot spot: silenthill  
> speedy: thedoppelganger  
> herald: thepiedpiper  
> kole: reversemedusa  
> aqualad: jacksparrow  
> bumblebee: honeyishrunkthekids

<dial 666 to summon the titans> 19:03

anactualdemon: I feel like I’m gonna regret this, but Jericho what are you meant to be?

casperthefriendlyghost: the very real ever present threat that capitalism will eventually kill us all if the villains we fight dont kill us first ヽ(^o^)ノ

anactualdemon: Terrifying

hallowqueen: seeing robin dressed as frank n furter is the closest ive ever come to being straight

hallowqueen: and then he ruined it by turning around and revealing that he’d drawn frank’s eyes over his mask

worldwarzzombie: mood

morticiaaddams: i’ll admit i should have let beast boy draw the eyes

theterminator: THEY LOOK LIKE THE EYES ON REALISTIC HOMER SIMPSON

morticiaaddams: i have to go change mask

fridaythe13th: can i get 50 more photos before you do so?

fridaythe13th: i need to commemorate this disaster on twitter

hallowqueen: please can i use this in a youtube video of what not to do?

morticiaaddams: i hate it here :(

spookybaby: Why are we being the mean to Robin? ( ・◇・)

spookybaby: It is not his fault that no one taught him how to draw the eyes

fridaythe13th: we know but its still funny starfire

anactualdemon: Are we not questioning how easily Robin walks in heels?

morticiaaddams: what like it’s hard?

steinsmonster: lol u shuld add heels to ur superhero costume

anactualdemon: Do not

morticiaaddams: omggg then i can feel like i’m in kinky boots every day of my life

anactualdemon: I will quit

morticiaaddams: the hardest choices require the strongest wills

worldwarzzombie: did you just quote marvel in my presence?

worldwarzzombie: im disowning you

silenthill: yall havent started the movie yet right?

spookybaby: No, we are still waiting for you and Titans East ~(˘▾˘~) ~(˘▾˘)~ (~˘▾˘)~

thedoppelganger: sorry were nearly done

thedoppelganger: this bitch just refuses to see hes outnumbered

thedoppelganger: oop gotta dash

thedoppelganger: bee needs me

silenthill: noiicceee ill be there in a sec

thepiedpiper: do you need a lift?

silenthill: nah im literally just walking in the front door

morticiaaddams: someone who actually uses the front door? my hero

worldwarzzombie: I BROKE ONE WINDOW

morticiaaddams: you broke 37 windows!

worldwarzzombie: so i broke a few windows

worldwarzzombie: still

morticiaaddams: THIRTY SEVEN

worldwarzzombie: you need to relax robin

worldwarzzombie: the stress isnt good for the baby

morticiaaddams: what baby?

worldwarzzombie: me

worldwarzzombie: im the baby

steinsmonster: if were talking abowt broken windows

steinsmonster: ravens broken quite a few

anactualdemon: In my defence, Beast Boy is annoying

morticiaaddams: solid defence

steinsmonster: wow i c how it is

worldwarzzombie: its all gucci i love you bb no homo

steinsmonster: love you too kf no homo

fridaythe13th: ah yes

fridaythe13th: my boyfriend kid flash and my boyfriends boyfriend beast boy

worldwarzzombie: WE SAID NO HOMO

fridaythe13th: its 2018 we support the gays david

fridaythe13th: pro homo

hallowqueen: EVERYONE SHUT UP

hallowqueen: HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT HOT SPOTS WEARING?!

theterminator: oh my god

steinsmonster: perfekshun

silenthill: yall kept making puns so i figured give into the peer pressure

reversemedusa: wait wait wait

reversemedusa: im not there

reversemedusa: whats everyone wearing?

hallowqueen: so beast boy’s perry the platypus like he said he was gonna be

steinsmonster: kid flash is the doof to my perry <3

worldwarzzombie: robin is frank n furter from rocky horror picture show

morticiaaddams: jericho is everyone’s biggest fear

casperthefriendlyghost: \\(◦'⌣'◦)/

thepiedpiper: im dressed as naruto

thepiedpiper: im gonna be hokage mom

worldwarzzombie: narutos mom is dead :)

thepiedpiper: well no im emo naruto

worldwarzzombie: so menma?

thepiedpiper: yes

worldwarzzombie: sexy

spookybaby: Raven and I have dress up as each other ヽ(*^ｰ^)人(^ｰ^*)ノ

spookybaby: Her cloak is most comfortable (｡●́‿●̀｡)

fridaythe13th: i am dressed as a cis white male

reversemedusa: terrifying

worldwarzzombie: would be terrifying if she didnt make suits look so good i love herrrrrr

worldwarzzombie: like not to be straight on main but i would date jinx in a heartbeat if she showed up in a suit

fridaythe13th: were literally already dating?

worldwarzzombie: oh yeah

fridaythe13th: i worry about you sometimes

worldwarzzombie: were still gonna cuddle during the movies tho right?

fridaythe13th: obviously

worldwarzzombie: noice

hallowqueen: im coraline because i love her

hallowqueen: AND HOT SPOT HAS DRESSED UP AS A LITERAL FLAME

reversemedusa: cool

reversemedusa: whats cyborg dressed as?

worldwarzzombie: a vampire :)))))

reversemedusa: cute

reversemedusa: i mean

reversemedusa: thats cool

worldwarzzombie: nice save :))))

jacksparrow: WE’RE FINALLY ON OUR WAY

jacksparrow: we’ll be there in 20 minutes tops

honeyishrunkthekids: i hate doctor light

morticiaaddams: oh so that’s where doctor light’s gotten to

theterminator: bitch is probs still scared shitless of raven

worldwarzzombie: what are yall dressed as anyway?

honeyishrunkthekids: im marceline from adventure time

honeyishrunkthekids: mas and menos are dressed as duracell bunnies

thedoppelganger: AQUALADS DRESSED AS THE LITTLE MERMAID

jacksparrow: OK BUT SPEEDYS ACTUALLY DRESSED AS ROBIN

thedoppelganger: NOT BY CHOICE

jacksparrow: AND YOU THINK I HAD A CHOICE?!

honeyishrunkthekids: i think you both look great :)))

thedoppelganger: THIS IS YOUR FAULT

honeyishrunkthekids: well maybe now you’ll think twice before messing with my stuff :))))

steinsmonster: robin do not take notes

morticiaaddams: i like your style bumblebee :))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, i am now a villain. welcome to the start of my villain arc. i can't wait to fight the titans and do my villain monologue.
> 
> ok so this is wild. we hit two milestones today. 1. we reached 200 comments literally the chapter after i mentioned it. 2. my main document for this fic reached 50 pages which scared me because it takes so long to load now.
> 
> robin can definitely do makeup, but he cannot draw to save his life so them drawn eyes are a thing of nightmares. also, the heels were for you blue.
> 
> i mentioned percy jackson yesterday and the commenters went insane and started interacting. now, they're best friends. may i should make a discord server? jk jk jk
> 
> i asked for book recs yesterday so today i'll ask for dc fanfic recommendations. anyway, do y'all have any dc fanfic recommendations?
> 
> the 'poly titans' series by fudgyokra - it's a poly bb/raven/cyborg and it's very cute. high key recommend.
> 
> 'young and gay and totally unjustified' by sohotthateveryonedied - it's a young justice no powers group chat fic that i adore. like it's so fun and chaotic but also handles angst super well.
> 
> 'arachnophobia' by damthosefandoms - this is a chaotic batfam shenanigans oneshot that i love so much and i want to thank julie so much for commenting on this fic else i wouldn't have found such a beautiful fic.
> 
> the 'sequence' series by steinmon1920518 (can be found on fanfiction.net) - this is a super cool bbrae centric fanfic which is a hella slowburn, but also doesn't solely focus on bbrae. this fic explores beast boy and raven's powers in more detail as well as robin's growth as a leader and the development of his relationship with starfire.


	29. o̴̦̬̗̜̹̥͎̮͋̀́͗̇̇̅̚ur̼̗̘̝͈̳͑̿̾̾͗͐̄̇͘͜ lo̧̢̗̻͎͆̔͋̕͘̚͘͢͠ͅrd̶̢̨̡̬͎̬̺̳̩̹̑̑̒̽͐͠ sh̵̞͖̰͓̬͕̥͚͒̏̽̓͒̒̒̏̕͟͟͞ag̵͚̟̪̻͓̖̹̥̩̉̑͂͛́̓̓̓̕͢gy̵̳͉̻̙̼̺̅̀̆̈́̋̇̀̾́ ḫ̸̮̰̣̫̯̿̓̉̿̒͑͆͘̚͜ͅaş̵̨̯̳͇̈́̾̇͑̏̇͋̈́͠ co̴̢̢̦̖̯̝̻̔̇̉̿̌̾͡m̴̰̰̘̠̪̫̈̔̇̍̓̄͘͡et̸̨̮̪̦̬̬͓̪̥̔̑͒̓͢͡͡h̭̲͎̘̼͐̿̀͛̎̍͋̈͝

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> raven has dealt with enough demons
> 
> you might want to select the text for easier reading

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> raven: anactualdemon  
> kid flash: worldwarzzombie  
> beast boy: steinsmonster  
> argent: hallowqueen  
> hot spot: silenthill  
> starfire: spookybaby

<dial 666 to summon the titans> 13:33

anactualdemon: Beast Boy has watched the Scooby Doo movies everyday since October started

worldwarzzombie: iconic

steinsmonster: gotta make sure shaggy stays benevolent for another year

hallowqueen: are you saying you dont watch the scooby doo movies everyday throughout october raven?

silenthill: if shaggy turns on us we know whos fault it is

anactualdemon: No

anactualdemon: You are not making me the outlier in this situation

spookybaby: Even on Tamaran, we watched the Scooby Doo movies every 10th month

spookybaby: Do people of Azarath not fear Shaggy?

anactualdemon: Nope

anactualdemon: This is not happening

anactualdemon: I am going to go meditate

anactualdemon: When I return, I hope you’re all normal

.

<͎̳̥̫̟͂̿̆̀̒̋̒ͅõ̵̹̹̫̞̝̳̬͗̊͊͗̈̚͟͟͞ͅǘ̡̖̯̰͚̦̲͗̇̑̄̉̕ṙ̷̢̛̺͍̩̼̣͖̝͍͋͟͡ l̳̪̫̩̗̪̂̑̇̽͂ȍ͇͈͉̯̝͐̿͊̑͝͠͞ŗ̶̜̣̘̜̅̆̒̿͋̃̈́͡d̸̨̹͇͈̲͎̘̖̃̾̋̒̈ s̹̟͎̙͚̠̰͔̒̓̒́̒̇͢͞h̡̛̼̲͎͓̪̽͒͆͂͑̆͛̐å̼̰͈̠͔͚̩̐̂̽͋̇͐͑͢͞ğ͙͖̭̥̣̩̩̂̎̌̓͆͋͊͜͞g̛̗̪͓̭̞͒̊̓̂͌͛̉͢͠ͅy̷̡̢̹͕̰̭̭̌̅͑̓̀̚͝ h̵̢̢͙͎̳̅̔̿̎͛̕̕͢a̭̟̖̰̠͒͋̐̇̓̒̐̐̉s̢̤̱̪͊̍̈́̑̓͑̉̾̇͜͠ ç̠̘̱̤̥͍̤̟̌͋̉̓̿̕͟͞o̵̡̤̙̤̮͉͓̫̖̍͆͒̃͒͞͞m̛͓̟̜̯̦̰̍͒͂̔̽͑̓̈́ȩ̷̭̰̥͙̼̖̺̒͐͒̈̈̃̆̒͠ͅt̸̡̫̖̪͓̥͇̍̍̌̽̕h̡̥̹̝̖̩͇̳̏̒́͑̈̏͡>̨̨̻͂͒̏̆͊̀͛̓̄͢͜ 6̴̨̖̭͔̩͇̆̎͋̍̈́̊͂̃̂̐͢͟͢͜:̧̰̟̟̙̼̞̩̌͒̐̇̎͟͡͡͠ͅ6̜͚̙̹̯͖̌͑̅̈̏̆̃̚͠͡6̵͍̱̙̻̬̤͍̉̒͛͊͘͢͡ͅ

͍͔̘̘̝̠̬̰͈̝͐̄̉̍͝l̝͎͙͕̭̼͗̄̎̏ơ̗̦̫̞͚̜̊̾͋͗̏͘͢͟͠y̧̻̬̳͉͊̇̿̏̓͜͠ä̶̧̮̫̹̱͙̝͓͑͛͞͝l̵̨̦̬͓̼̗̭̓͊́͑͝ͅs̡̧̛̱͇̫͓̘̮̲̍̑͒̅̀̚͠ų̡̜̖͇͉͉͂̍̓͐̊̉̃̎̅͘ḇ̮̻̝̪̭̔́̐͒̚j̸͚̦̝͙̳͗̓͐̽̎̽̽͗͛̚ę̨̨̢͙̲̹̏̈̈́̍͒̕c̸̖͉̼̟̦̣̭̮͇͋̎͑̈͛͛̂̀̔͠t̵̡̠̩̞͔͖͕͌̊̒̐̊̎̚͟͡:̖̗̥͕͆̀̌̄̂̐͑͢ Ẅ̗̣͇̲͖̳̬́̂̈̈́̌̆̓̊h̯̪̞͓̗̞͈̺͗̃̎̂͌͛̃̆̕͜͡ǎ̧̠̥͖̗̼͛́̀̾͘͠͝t̸̗̫̹͕͔͉͖̃̊̉͒̚͝'̶̲͙̰̙͌̉̈͋͢͝s̵̱̯̗̮̻͓̝̈́̿͛̿͌̋͘͞͝ͅ ņ̟̰̟̣̙̟̗͛̏̇̄̒̽̌̀͡e̷̛̩̜̭͔̪̞̺̽̒͐͑͒͡ŵ̵̨̝̰͔̏̐̈̋͛͐͜͝ S͈̱͙̭̣̹̀̈́̆̌͒̾̕͠c̶̡͍̻̠̖̠̅̋͛́̾o̶͉͎̖̟̞͆̓̍͡ö̶̢͖͎̯̣̲̆̍͛̌̈́̕͜͡b̢̫͖̤̣̣̜̄̃͌͠y̴̧͓͉̮̖͈̱͂̒̒̊̉ D̗̳͇̜̝̹̒̐͒͗͐͑̕ó̵̧̨͖͇̯̭̲̦̏̾̾̿̽̐͒̚͢͡ö̴̢̢̬͕̼͕̮̾̿̊̃͌͞͞͡?̷̧̟͓̩̣̫̿͌͋̎̃̔̍̈́̋͆

̛̱̪̱͖̠̳̮̖̤͚̿̓͗͐͐̊̈́̕͘ļ̱͕͚̤̺̼̾̄͗͗͊̃̆͊͠͠ǫ̷͇͉̬͕̦͍͎̀͐̍̾͊̑y͔͇͙͍̝̍͋̅͛͛â̜̮̭̠͎̬̓͂͗̅̒͑͘͠ͅͅl̬͖͓̗̙̖̾̀̎̚͞s̤̤͕̺̱̞̠̅̅́͆̍͂̔͌̔͜͞u̢͚͍̬̪̅̊̈͗͂͆̕͟b̷̗̼̰͈̻̫͓̐̐̐̋̍̿͆̄̿j̷̝̳̞̹͉͉͚̗͂̈̉̒͋̆͘͟e̢̧̛̻̬̻̘̫̠͎͆̿͐͛c̶̤̻̘̩͈̆̀̋͘̕͞ͅț̘̳̻̝̄͊́̕̚̕:̸̨̟͎̜͇̤͕͛̈́̅̓̒̂̉̏͟ͅͅ W̢͇̥͖̘̙̼̳͖̎̂̎̓͌͝ͅe̸̢̧͇̜͕̖̊͆̾̍̚'̸̲͙̩̘͊͑͛̀̒̊͂̀̆͢ͅr̵̡̹͉̜͉̟̻̪̓͌̎̃͐͊̍͘͢͝e̡̯͔͎̳̥͉̓́͌̈́̏̓̍͐̇̃ c̥̠̠͚̘͕͉̩̈́̉̓̇̈͛͜ȏ̧̡̘̤̬̰̬̝͇̃͌͐͡͠ͅm͉̳̩̙͍̌̈́̅̌̽̕͟i̷̧̧̙̠̞͌̈̊͐̅́͘n̰̻͎̲̱͈̘̺̔̑͊̌̌̓͜ĝ̸͇͉̤̘͋̉̄̕͟͝͠ a̬̯̮̣̘͍̓̆̍̆̐͜͠f̨̞̩̹̥͔̣̎̏͐̿̐͆͌̑̚͘͟t̵̡̝̙̬̰̠͕̼͓͇͋͑̈͌͗ẻ̶͇͇͖̳̺̙̘͔̆̂͋̉̾̓̓̊͢͠r̢͓̳̪̖̣͖̿͛̄̀́͢͢͞ y̶̡̡̼̹̲̰̟͚̝͇͌̂͂͡͝͝ǫ̧̛̖̖̯͖͕̣̅̋̂̂̒̍̌͗ư̩̻̯̪͇̪̅̀̅̔̈͢͢ͅ

̨̣̞͉͕̝̳̦̩͛̀͛̎͢͠l͕͍̪̫͕͍̠̐̈́͛̃̏̾̊͐͛o̡͚͚͉̺̿̔̐͆̽̓͢͝y̶̥̻̜̭͍̗̌̉͐̃͠͠á̜̖̥̳͕̲̃̉̄̑̒̀͛͞ͅl̛̠͈̙̭͍̈͐̊̋͒̌̚͢͟ş̴̧͉̻̮̆̈̉̍̚̚͞ű̴̡͇̳͔͖̙͌͗̋͌͝b̸̨̧̥̭̣͑̒͊̊̔̂j̠̱͓͈̩͑̿̌̄̏̃̈́͢e̴̡͕̘͉̭̊͛͌͒͠c̷̟̺͔̣̘̹̤͎͎͉̑̏̃͛̃̐̊̓̆t̶̙͔̪͓͕͋͒̾̾͢͡:̢̞̠̲̗̤̙̥̼͒͋̅̄ͅ Ẅ̷̧̢̛̼͖̠͉̫́̃̑̽͟͝ę̸̛̪͇̙͙̾̑̉̈͌͠'̵͈̥̙̝̝̭̞̮̀͂͛̇̐̍̇̎͒͟͝ͅr̢̪͈̻̈̑͒͛̀͞ͅę̤̤͉͖͌̈͌̆̾͆̇̅ͅ ģ̶̡̱̬̖̩̗͂͒̈́̎̍̑͂̈́̑ơ͉̲̗̼͎̩̜̌͊̾͊̇̈́͐n̸͓̖͍̘͈̭̻̍̀̓̎̐̈̌̇͞n̸͙̼͎̞̭̻̞̓̌̓̇͛͛͘͝ā̛͎̰͈̹̄̽̈́̋͆̓̂͑͜ s̡̧̛̳̣̭͇̦̓̉͌͋͗̄̄̆ō͎̠͖̲͉̫̰͋͌́̋͛͘͝͠ļ̴͚̝̭̻̫͋̆̋̓̆̑̉͊v̵̡̯̟̘̺̙͕̅̑̍͂̈̓͢͢͢è͍̦͖̯̜̙̦͗͒̚͞ ţ̭͚̙͔͎͇͐̀̓̇̍̕͜͢͝͞h̸̢͇̣͇̤̺̤̼͉̍̾̍̋͘͟a̷͎͙̦̖̼̺͕̦̩͋̍̋͗́̾͐͘̚͟t̷̨̛̺̥̥͖͊̇̇͒́͐̚̕͡ m̴̧̻̰̼̞̣̹͂͗̄͢͞y̡̰̮͉͉͖͊̌̈́͊͋̊̽͘͟ͅs̢̡̲͚̬̬͊̃̽̌͆̚͘̕ͅt̸̳̮͉͈̒̓̎͋̎͜è̢̲̰͉͔͓͓͑͊̽͋r̛̲̩̙͕̼̥̮̉̓̈́͂̃̂́͟͞͡y̡̨̯͔͍͍̒͊͆͋̽́̒͑̎̕͜͢

̡̼͇̖͔͋̿̑̿̒͢l̢͙̞̥̻̹̼̦̉͋̋̒̆͞o̱̘̙͇͕̼̮̝̙̠̍͗̈̒̐̒͗̌͡y͇̜̩̘̥̯̮̞͑̎̋́̑͠a̛̳̖̬̺̜͂͒͌̌̒̅̄̍͡l̴̫̳̞̰̩̩͕̎̀̽͑̒̀͑̐̏͘ͅs̡̲̬̺̦̩͎̔̓̌̒̊̾͂ų̛̗̠̟͉̳͈͚̲̌̌̊͋̐̉̚͘͟͠b͕̤͇͈̞̏̅͋͂̅̒̇͞͠͞ĵ̝̦̥̘͉͙̹̔͒̅̉͜͟e̢͓̦͙͙̪̞̫̹̾̓̑̃̆͂͜c̤̯͍̹̠͇̫̦͆̍̂̽̏̒͠t̸͈̭̹̹̪̻̗̪̀̆̇̃͂̎̿͜͞ͅ:̛̥̬̪̱͕̉̊̉̉̅͝͞ Ỉ̧̛̼̝͎̭͇͚̜̳̼̈͌͋͂͂̕͠ s̵̡̧̖̪̯͖̘̀̒͛̓̿̚̕͡é̵͉̼̱̻̣̽̓̋͒͛̈́̕͠e̷̛͇̺̰̺͍̘̎̒̔̏̚̕͞ y̤͎̺͖̱̞͖̏͛̅̈́̇͘o̶̪̗̯͈̰̳̣͎͈͂̃̐̏͑͊u̸̧̡̮͓͎̪͙̎̓̋̾͋̊͠ Ş̢͓̹͖̹͖̰̹̏̈́́̄̀̐̑̓̏͘ͅc̷̨̨̡̤̦͍̭͓͛͗̈̌̆͢͢ọ̷̺̪̟̟̗̲̥͗̑̀̓̚͘͟ȏ̩̲͍̺̦͓̹̠͗͛͆͡b̴̨̥͎̩͓̆͊͐̓͘͢y̩̻̙̯̘͚̹̎̋̎̆͋̃͢͝͝ D͓̠̝̹͓̱̓̈́̊̅̽̿̕͠o̢̢̥̱͎͖̗͕̗̍͗̑͐̎̒̾̀̚o̸̫̹̻͚̳̓̓̂̋̌͞

̸̡͈̳̺̭̰̣̝̫̒͒̈̍̉̇̐͘͡l̵̢̧̛͎̠͇̩̞͓̍̎̽͗͞ő̵̢̹̰͓̝̩͔͍͊̊̋̚͝ÿ̩̥̲̖͕̪̞̭̱́̅̆͆͊͞ą̴̩̱͚̺̳̲̠̩̝͐̐͒̉̇͒̕ļ̛̰̹̻̯̘̇̍̆͋̓͋̈̄s̸̢̞̫̞̱͍̝̈̍̿͌̃͡ṷ̴̘̬̰̫͙̯̓͒͛̈́͒͌͢b̸̡̳̰͚̲̮͉̾̂͐̈́͌j̸̧̜͎͓͖͓̻́̽̆̈́̂̑́̃̏̚͜ȩ̧̧͕̱͕͎͕͐̐̌͊͐̚͠͠ć̡̹̥̩̭̐̓̎̓̐͑͛̕ť̼̜͙͔̞̩̇̃̎͡:̷̨̠̦̙͕̦̆̂̍͛̔͒͌ T̴̠̙͉͓̬͉̈̓͗͂̇̕͢͝h̢̧̘̲̞̘͕̍̂̾́̆̊͡ę̶̙̪͈̞̯̘̳̙̏͐̿͂̌ t̶̨͉̹͉͓̽̉̈́̎̀͟r̴̲̗̝͛͐̌̇̔͌̚͜͜͟͝͡a̶̢̙̦̞͇̳͎͎̋͋͆̃̋̂ỉ̶̧̱̞̂̑̽͘͟͜l̲͍͔͍̖͍̥̫͋̍̓̚ l̷̢̹͍̝̱͓̦̹̦͑͆̽̆̽́͘͢ę̧̹͙̘̙̥͇̹̱̍͋̆̎̎̚̚a̸̛̤͙̝͕͒̓̿̀͟d̗̺͍̠̗̹̱͇̤̭̓̏͐͑̑͒͡s̸͙̭͕̜͎̙͛͆̎͛̈͋̽͞͡ b̬̮̜̭̫͐͐̅͐̒̚͘͢ä̢̡̢̙͚̞͈̭̪́̎͛̓̂̎̅͠͞c̨̛̥̗͎̠̖͔̟̲̋͛̈̋̊͢k̵̡͖͓̜͈̮͎̳̤̋̇̽̈̆̉̅͗ t̷̻̤̼̍̐͆͑͟͟͡ǫ̴̨̧̗͉̏̎̐̓͊͜ y̵̺̦͈̓̈͗͌͌͜ͅơ̧͉̱̯͍̹͛͘͜͡͡u̴̪̠̼͖̘͎͆͑̒̆̂̚

̴̨̺̦͎̥͉̼̋̔̒̌̽̚ͅl̢̧̞͈̤͔͙̳̆̃͗̐̓͢ȏ̶̧̺̰̼̙̗̲̎̍͗̆̍̏ͅŷ̫̱̲̼͖͔̟͙̖̔͡͞ȃ̵̢̨̬̹̳͗̀͑̇̎̊̓l̴̬͙͈̝̭͛̇̌͗͆̅͞͞͡ͅṡ̵̘̘̩̭͙͚̙̏̎̇̽͒́̆͝ủ̥͓̩͇͈̻̥͛̆͛͗́̿̇̒̃ͅͅb̜̥͙̤̼̪̼̤͙̆̔̋̄̐͐̈́͜͝j̠̺͙̮̗̃͂̄̃̕͝e̘̳̮͍̞̟̞̔͂̆̎̌̚̚͢͢ç̨̺̼̳̼̰͋̿̓̓̓̏ť̨̳͓̰͑̂̍̈́̌̀̚͡ͅ:̳̥̟͈͎̖͉͒̈͘͜͝ͅ W̶̧͓̤͇̜̟̱̣̔͆͌̐́͘h̻̣̩͔̭̘̭͐͗̏̕͠͝ä̷͉͉̯͓̟̦̞̲̱̜̏́͒̇͊̈͊͐̋ṯ̭͉̰͎̠̩̥̞͔̆́͆̈̓̈̀̓̚͝'̴̧̛̛̺̱̲̜̔̆͆̇s̵̢̨̢̛͉̬̖̤̳̠̄͗̌̄̕͝͞ͅ ņ̸͉͙̻̦̃̓͋̏͋͂̋͢͠ͅę͙̙̫͔̜̯̺̾̏̾͋͊ͅw̴̡̘̠̻͎̠̉́̈́͒̄͝ͅͅ S̶͙̣̹̗̟̻̓̓͂̾͂̌͗c̷̡̬̺̮͚̘͇̲̉͊̂͂̈͋̂̕͢͞o̴̘̯͎̙̰̪͂̃͒̄͒̽͟o͈͍̩̳͈̙̮̍͑̌͐̌̀̂̚͢b̸͕͖̹͕̭͕̟̈̅̾̍̇͐̒ȳ̵͖͎͚̳́̆̾͑͜ D̢̢̡̜͍̟͙̩̪̄͛́́̽͛̈́͝͝o̵̟̞̗̣͉͛̄͒́͌̐͡ỏ̭͈̰̰̪̗̦͙̼̖͛̂͐͠?̷̢̲̬̩͎̳͉̫̋̉͆̈͌̄̒̆̕͘͟͢

̸̢̳̹͕̘͗͂͌͆͐̅̀̒ͅľ̢͕̜̙͓͚͓̆͌͒͛͌̍̇̈́͢͠ọ̢͓̫̫̌̐͂̎̈̑̐̈̐ỳ̟̙̱͔̫̖̤̇̍̈́̿͑͆͠ã͍̺̟͇̠̩͇̙͆͑͐̕̕l̷̨̻̖̜̺̃̾̈́̓̊͗͆̌͛s̴̛̫̣̙̹̼̓́͂̓́̋̌͜͜͢͠ů̴̙͕̥̭͎̦͈̱̤͋͋̀͆̌͐̏͜͞͠b̨̢̛̗͕̩̭̣̔̏̉̓͠͞͝͠j̹̟̳͚̬͓͗̈́̉̈̐͗̋͜͢͞ė̸̹̰̬͕̠̝̇̃̋̄̌̓͟͝c̴̜͔͚̣͚̤̦̊̎͒̎͆̌̀͂̿ẗ̷͇̰̫͎̯̩̦̞́͆͌͂͂̋̚͢͠:̡̢̛̺̮̰̙̔̑̿̓͗͜ W̟̠̱͙̮͍̗͂͑́̏̿͝͡h̢̛̲͓̙̟̞͕̳́̋́̓͜͢͠a̶̡̧̛̲̟͈̣̟̝͌͐̽͑͡t̛̻͖̬̥͔̙̖͔̣̎̆͊͢͡'̡̛̛̝͚͈̬͖̣̠͐̊͌̾́̉͑ş̙̜͙̻̝̃͂̑̚͜͞ ṇ̴̖̟̟̩̾͑̀̅̔̉͡e̢̧͇̪̙̱̙̗̻͒̇̃̊̋͒͜w̵̢̨̪͚͐̈́̅̇̽̎͒͋̏͋ͅͅ S̵̡̛͇̭͇̖͇̳͓̙̯̅̍͒͗͠͞c̨͇̭̭͇̮̃͒̍͑̽͘͜ơ̵̥̝͉͖̮͈̥̒͛͋̄̌̋̉̋̒ò͎̳̮̤̬͚̞̙̊͒̈́̕͟b̵̢̺̮͎̭̈́͑̊̅͛̆͐͊͜͡ý̷̢͍͎̪̰͕͖͂͐̇͒̉͜ͅ Ḑ̞͔͉̼̻̽͗̏̌͜͟͠o̠̗͈͕̝͓̼̅͛͗̿́̋̈́̚͞ͅŏ̡̨̯̥̥͓͕͆͡?̡̱̩͕͍͇̙͎̹̀̅̓͑̐͆̉͞

͖͈̩̬̭̟͈̽̓̊͂̿ͅl͔̮̼̳͎̭̙̤͑͗̒͑͗͑͒͘͝o̱̱̮͙̝͉̬͕̱̾̈́͑͌̐̽̓͑̿͜y̴̧̦͙̺̲̎̄̂̉͐̎a̴͚͓̟̦̟͙͋̅̑͑l̡̩͔̭͎̤͛̃͛̅̕̕͞ͅs̸̢͍̼͔̭͎̱̫̿̊̎̌͛̋̅͐̏̅͟u͕̦͔̗̯̇̋́̄͘͟͜͠b̧̢̩͙̖̤̗͓͐̂͌́͢͟j̴̢͕̲̗͎̦̝̣͍̄͐͑̂̃͊͠ͅȩ̷̯͔̙͕̯̖͌͗̐͒̌̔̾c̶͇̪̳̰̮̄̌̒̈́̾͂̒̿͠t̢͕͈͈̙̟̹͇͌̾̾̈́͐̚̚͘͟:̵̛̗̻̣̠̤̩͐̾̔͘͞ͅ Ẃ͎͖̟̭̱̗̪̒̿̏̈̚͜͝͠e͇̥̖̝̤̹͍̾̇̋̕͜͟͠͝'̶̺̫͚̣̱̰̗̩͐͗͋̂̍̅͟͠ṙ̶̡̲̩̟̅͑̓̊̅̚͟e̵̹̜̼̘̺̐͊̿̈̔̃͛̎̈͡ g̷̢͚͔̼͍̲̯͈̊̀͆̋͆̎͐͑̏͜͢ǫ̸̢̘̣͕̖͎̞̋͊̃̔̂̔̓͜͝ͅn̷̛̛̩̥̫͍̰͙̜̥̔̍̈̆̇̌̎̚͟ͅņ̙̬͉͕̠̖͕̲̹̈́̈́̓̊̓͊̇͒ą̻̩̦̭̠̮̭̻̤́̃̒͗̏̚ f̴̼̣͈͕̜̤̀͆̒̋̀̃̒̈́ơ̴̢̼̞̭̹̖̱̟̾͐̑̌͌̅̍l̶̨̥̳͚̉͌͑͗̌͢l̸̨͈̥̣͍̺̿̂̍͆̾̋o̷̧̲̝̜̫̖͕͒̆̒̉́̐̕͡ͅw̵̖͓̬̯̩̲̰͔̤͑͊́͋̄͂͞ y̵̙̲͕̪͕̲͍̠̬̌̋̋̎̓̕͘͠͡͞o̵̢̪͈̼̜͉͖͇̍̂̀̊̿͡ų̛͔̯̖̩̦͔̫͚͗̒̕̚͢

̴̺̣̫̫̰̪̻̇̀̊̆̏̂͢͢͡l̴͕͔͚̫̰͉̬͊̌̂̑̇̓͆͟͝͠o̙̣̟̰̼̺̿͒̀̒y͍̣͕͈͎̪̯͊̏̓̈́̂̊͟͞a̷̱̺̰̬͍͈̽͐̊͂͐͐́͞l̸̟͈̰̻̖̻̗̯̔̓̑͒͒s̴̢̢̛̥͇͙̩̫̄͗̂̂͜͠u̶̡̧̘̩̝̬͒̓̐͗͗̕b̡̢̡̦̰̘͚̝̞́͊̃͆̃̓j̷̮͇̭͉̣̘̼̬̺̺̽̃̔̔͑̆͘ȇ̴̼̫͍̤͎̂͑͆͋̕͢͟͝c̶̡̛̙̘̘̤̒͆͆̾̓̀͜t̸̡̠̪̼͑̈́͊̾̃́̈͐̆͟͢:̛̭̖̘͉̋̾͑͒̌̀͘͢ Ẅ̵̢͔̠̺̹̞́͋̽̆̊̚͠͞ȩ̶̢͍̞͉͖͙̺̌̓̋̊̈̀̈̕͜͠͠'͔̰̳͓̣̆͑̐̄̒̈́̎͢͞r̷̢̧̰̬͓͙͙̈́̈̄̎́̌͟͝e̛͍̘̫̭̱͛̒͊̏̔̂͢͠͝ g̡̛͙̯͉͍̳͊̑̎̒̉̐͌͂͝ͅơ̖͈̺̯̟͋̓̐̉̔̓n͔̮͇̫̫̦̜̻̉͒̒͊̔̋͆͡n̴̯̯̺͖͔̪̍̿̉͆͢͟͢͝͡ą̜͈̥͉͔̋̅͂̍̀͊͢ s͖̦̟̘͆͛̒̓̌̚͜͝o̧͖̬͍̓̾̈̅̊̉̓̿͗ͅḷ͍̤̞͖̱̣̗͒̑̂̀̈͜͟͝ṿ̨͓̫̥̾̌̾̓͟͢͝ę̷̛̛̮̞̖̣̲̗͆̒̓͑̇̿ t͙͙̘̻̝́̎̏̋͛͆̽̂͟͝h̶͚̯͉̝͖͇͛͛͐͋͗̊͆͘͢ȃ̵̧̢̦̦̃̓͗͢ͅt̡̹̮̩̳̳̪̳͗̍̍̂ ḿ̶̬͍̱̘͙̻̞̙̥͌͊̈́̅y̵̰͎͖͔͎͂̂͆̑͌̓̈́͞ś̛̭̲͕̹̪̅͐̆͛͠͠t̡̢͈̼͓͈͔̉͛̓̅̓͛͝ḙ̴̢̧̼̙̬̗̱̏̆̋͒̐̾͂̍ŗ̵̗͍̻̥͕͖̮̞̾͊̒̂͜͞͡ȳ̷̖͈͕͔̐̎̇̄̇͆̕͟͝͞

̧̛̝͙̱͉̜̭̊͑̆̅̆̊͜l̴̢̯͍̰͕͈̱͆̾̓̈́͢͝͠ö̜̣̘̰̞̰͙̣̞̇̍͑́͒̽́̋͜y̡̛̼͓̻̞̒̋̌͛̔͊̕̚a̶̲̘̺̪̟̭̼͐͑͊͌͂̍̈́͞l̸͔̺͉̳̮͍̼̲̍̓̐̒̅͘̚͜͟ś͇̮͖̺̫̽̌̊͋̾͜ͅu͎̠̲̥͙͂͋͐͆̿̓̐͢b̷̳̙͖̣̠͛͌̏̈́̋͢j̨̪̦̮̺̳̇̓̐͂̒̑͗̕ȩ̸̨̬͓̗͉̽͌̋͞͠ç̼̻̝̄͊͟͡͠͝ṫ̶̡̩̭̙̬̮̙̱͑̒͐:̰͖̩͔̯͙͂̽̊͞ W̨̭̗͓̱̦̬̖̪͗̌̍̔̌̉̈́̍͢e̸̙̭͙̬̭͓̮̮̘͇͐̏͂͒̓ ş̴̛̭̺̭͖̩̍̉͐̂̍́̾̊͟͡ę̷̥̠̮̟͕̳̜͊̂̓̑͌̇̔e̡̧̡̱̜̦͚͕̮̋̾̐̈́̌͂̉̉͡ y̵̨̪̯͓̯͐̓̒͂̾̈̚͡õ̷̮̙͕͓͐̉́͊͑͊͊ͅụ̴͈͎̜̘̑͆̑̉̊ S̢͎͇̞̬̺̝͊̄̾̓͂͘͡c̸̜̯̜͖̙̮̹̓̔̾͂̍̕ơ̵̡̨̨͖̠̱͍̺͎͆̐̒̕ơ̷̡̩̹͍̗̠̼̻̠͊̔̃͂̎͒͟b̡̢̨̖͔̺͖̺̬̊̊̒̂͊͘͜͞y̶̨̦̻̗̫̻̭̆̑̿̓́̂͐͠ Ḍ̡̡̭̻̈͐̅̉̒̾õ̶̢̲̤͕͙̼̣͇̤̋̈͒̿͊̅o̷̗̦̗̼͎̻̜̜͍͓͊͑͌̉̆̿͛́̑

̨̫͚̯̭̔̒̈̈̾̈͘͠l̸̺̻̬̱̜͂̇͛̈͊̑̇͢͝o̷͍̻̼̮̜͆̂̈͂̈̑͠ͅŷ̵̛̭̼̜̲̩̗̜͑̐́̓̇͘a̢͖͕̭̩͇̳͊̇̄̑͆̆̾͞ͅl̴̡̝̬͉̩̖̂̃̊̅̿̉̚s̩̦͉̫̠͖̔̈́̋̃̽̆̂u̷̱̙̮̫͈͂̓̌͐͛̽͜ḇ͖͖͖̝̉͌̆̇͌͊͘j̵̨̞̲͎̞̼̣̤͎̅͗̂̀̍͟ḛ̡̭̬͍̩̘̰̐͊̅̓͒͘͟͟c̷̰̹͕̰͓̄̑̔̽͝t̴͇̦͈͔̝̟̖͋̂̿̅͑͞ͅ:̡̡̫̤̩̅̆̿̓̐͌ W̶̢̡̢͙̳̰̯̓̈́̂̇͋̐̍͘͠e̵͖̭͔̹̩̜͚̾͆̎̓͊͢͢'̶̨̱͍̰̱͕͐̍̒͆͗͌͋̑̕r̵̥͇̮̤̣̹̫̝̈̈́͋͋̄͗͋̐̕̚ḙ̼̞̦͕̖̰̔̂̍̓́͘͜͡ ç̸̟̺͙̩̲̆͊͐̐̇̂͘ǒ̢͓̟̗̫̞̻̔̃̒̊̈́̕͜m̶̢̝̫͇͖̃̀̑̿͋̍̋̂̊i̸̲͓͇̻͔̊͂͂̏͐̉͞͡n̨̢̛͔̱͖͚͔̈́̏̈̾g̴̖̖̪̮͔̦͈͙͗̃͊̔͌̚̕͟ͅ ǎ̶̤͇͎̙̩̩̰̿̄̃̓́͛̕f̶͙̤̩̼̩͆̎̾̉͋͛̽͞͞ţ̪̥̹̦̖̓̂͛̽̍͆ẽ̘͔̹͔̒̓͌̕͘ͅr̛͎̝̺̺̻̝̈̄̔͗̔͢͝ y̧̪̳̦̲̥̝̮͈̏͑̈͝͡ͅo͇̫̜͉̥̣͈͗̈̌̈́̅͜u̡̹̘͉̲͙̓͐̄̂̇͑

̢̠͈̥͔̭͖̝̋͗͋͡͞l̸̛̦͖̱̝̻͚̮̄̈́̿͜͠͡ō̤̯̩͉͙̱̯͔̂͋̈́̀̅y̵͕̙͎͔̣͇̭̱̥͚̎̑͗̔̓͛̍͘͞ä̵̧̬̲͇̯̗́̿̂̔̒͋̂̕͢͡l̷̡͔͇̦̞͇͒̀͗̍̅̒̚͡ş̴͙̹͈͕̝͎̅̒͋̈͜ͅṳ̴̡̰͖͍̙̰̯̪͐̏͐̾̏̈̚͜b̧̡̥̟̫̮̙͖͇̋̍̓͌͊̋́j̧̛̫̙͕̲̟̘̣̏͐̔̽͊ȩ̶͓̤͓̜̱̠̗͛͋̄͒̇̓̔̕͡c̸̛̣̞͙͚̻͍͔͔̪̱̔̀̎̔̒͒̒͋t̸͈̰̖̬̖͛̋̅̐͋̈́͛͠͠:̴͚̩̭̝͖̙͚̒̈͛̕͟͠͞ W̨͓͈̦͚̳͍̃̒̈́͟͝͠h̷͈͍̤̐̍͐̃̂͗̕͜ͅa̷̡̢̱̬͇̝̫͍̥̋̉͌͊͒t̶̡̢̢̛̰̫̘̩̒͑͆̅͒͐̆͘'̵͚̟̫͚̩̂̔͆̓̚͡ṡ̱͇̤̤̹̗̟̙̱̃̑͊̎͆̅̔ n̢̨̜̘̹͍͔̒͑̀̓͛͗̈́͆̚ë̵̡̡̨̬̺̫͖͎͓̔̕̕͡w̡̘̣̣̫̅̾̑̃ͅ S̵̩̰͔̰̹͗̄̉͌̌͑̋̃͢͞ͅc͚͇͖̩̹̘͊͛́̏̃̂̂̚͟͝o̸̝̲̯̪͎̝̤̼̍͊͛̔̏͜ͅo̴̡̨̨̮̙̟͚̞̬̍̆̔͝͡ͅb̢͖̟̺̹̳͈̖͔̉̽͆́̂͞y̙͎͈̟̯̫̓̾̉̀͛͠͡͝ D̴̨̖̮̩̤̜̂͊̊̽̎͟͟͟o̖̬̼̮̥̮͕̐̂̊̃̾̍͜ò̵̬̜̲̖̮̮̏̾̽̈̂͢͡?̷̦̖̙̘̖̑̽̇̾

̸̤̯̺̻̟̲̜̋͗͊̽̕͟͜l̨̞̙̝̯̯̰͇̹̐̊͂̐̎͘͠o̴̡̧͕̤͍̙̺͗͊͑͆̒y̸̡̛͉̝͕̮̫̟̏̄̽̒͛̄̚ą̵̡̻̭̯̜͇͍̳͊̈́̆͂͑͐͝͠l̻̻̥͖͎̮̊̇̽͑̏̾͛̇̄s̰͚̤̳̹̽̔̂̄̾̊̕͡ų̴̡̭̪̟͂̂̓͊̅͊b̷͖̗̠̻̯̫͛́̚̕͡ǰ̷̧̤̩̱̥̫̝̠͐̓͞͝e͈̬͖̓̓͑̅͑̄̽͜͟ç̸̱͔͌̈́̇̌̔̏̓̎͜͜͝t̵̛̗̼͚̞̯͆̾̈́͆͋̏̚ͅ:̡̪̻̦̼̠͍͇̮̓̋͊̿̈̐̊̇ D̨̛̛͍̖̪̟͒̔̀͒̕o̭̺̼͈͚̓́̍͊̐̑̓͢͝n̸̰̲̬̘͔̯̹͈̥̾̂̈́̚͝'̷̛͇̼̯̝͋̓̍̃͗͆͒͜t̷̨͙̣̻̫̄́̄̈́̎̋̊̑ l̨̨̞̮̹̳͔̱̻̘͗͑̌̆̚o̴̧̗̪̮̼̖͔̻̞͒̌͒̒̇̔̓͠͡͡ǫ̷̛̟̘͚̲̞̳̦̌͑̂̚͡k̩̬̟̬̰͑́̃̐͆̔̌̋͘͜͞ b̧̲͍̣̖̝͚̣͈̈̃̃̏͡ả̧̳̭̱̲̍́̂̿͡c̲̣͈̗͎̣̉̀͂̆̌̕͝͡͠͝ͅͅk̸̨̠̠̰͉̥̆͊̏͌̇̕͜,̶̢͖̮͖̥͈̻̼̾̆̒̑̑ y̴͚͍̺͎̹̘̱͂̿͆̓̑͢͞͡ͅơ̢̧̭̥͛͑̆̑͘͟͝ͅu͈̥͇̝̣̎̊͗̂̂̐̅̇͟͞ͅ m̧͖̻͉͔̘̙͓̈́̅͛̿̂͛͢a̷̧̰͕͓̰̾̈͋̂͞y̡̯̥̻̹̹̥͕̎͋͗̀̈̓͠ f̨̧̟͚̱͎̉̎̐̃̂̾̇į̸͎̞̞̀̔̽͌̂͗̀͢͞n͖̤̰͙̙̾̄̊͆͝d̛̺̮̖̟̤̖̆̏̓̕͠ ạ̢̟̟͚̭̻̹̐̽̑͂̀͞ṉ̵̩̭̩͓̔̋̌̚͠͡o̢̼̪̣̣̻̓̋̂̚͠t̸̻̦͉̹͚̋͂̂̾͜͡ͅḩ̴̞͚̘̪͎͂̌̐͆ȅ̡͉̺̪̤͂̆̽͝r̡͔͔̻͔̟̯̅̑̅̿̕͟͜͟͠ c̭̜̰̭̯̝̼̿̂͗̓̅͟͞l̪͚͎̮̖̓̎̀̇̍͑͂͘͜͢u̴̯̣̗̫̬̤͓̲̜̒͋̅͐̔͊̍̕ͅe̖̦̝͍̼͙̟̲̅̓̉͆̈

̵̢̢̱̳͉͋̉̂̆̅̀̚͘l̷̢̞̥͕̞͍̺̓͒̀̔͋͟͟ơ̗͉̠̻͚̤̩͔̲̏̋̽͒̓͐̏͐̆y͍̬͍̝͆̊̓̔̄̑͟ͅa͓̯̙̹̹̭̮͇͐̓͆͂͊̌̕l̷͖̼̰̫̙̟̄̌̋̒̓̐͡s̶̢̡̡̰̜̖̰̺̦͛̉̉̊̇ư̵̹̱̥̤̺̱͕̞̹͂̌̃̾̾͝b̳̙͈̲̦̓̄̾͊̂͡͡͝j͚̟͔̻̃̈́̍̓͐̈́̚͟͟ê͚̘̲̠̝͕̯͍̿͌͒͑͒͘͞ĉ̴̢̰͔̤͖͛͑̿̍͡ͅt͕͉̺͎̗̭͂̎͌̃̇̎͘͜:̶̮̻̗̹͔͓̤̿̾̎͑̇́̉͊͞͠ͅ Ţ̵̡̳̰̲͉̤̏̿̓̄̐͘͞h̴̨͈̩̮̝̩̉̔͑͋̑̉͜ͅę͕͍͉̰̲͑̏̌̆̄̕͢͞ S̖̻̻͕͒̐̔̉̌͌́̚͢͟͝͞c̡̡̧̱̗͍̰̈̐̎̾̓̍̅̿͛͢͟ö̵͙̣͖̺̘͒͆̂̚o̶̢͖̬͕͉͇͔̳̙͗̓͂͂̽̀͝ͅb̛̬̰̰͚̣̻̥̲͖͂̂̔͟y̸̧̛̳̞̖̺̗͔̣̱̫̿̊̉͒͊̆̎͘ ŝ̨̘̹̞̩̯̪͓̄̓̃̈́̚n̢̲͈̩͖͕̤͙͓͑̒̏͒̏̕͜͡ą̶̢̫͚̮͇͍̤̮͗̅̇̉̚c̢̧̮͚̙͚̆̑̔͛̽͢ͅk̟̹̙̱̝̮͓̄̂̓̆͊̄̈͑͟s̴̛̪͓̞̻̜̬̖͈̳͑̔͂͑͟͠,̧̬̘̹͚̰̫̼͒̊̋̈́̽̂̎́͢͞ ẃ̴̢̫͓̤̼̳̈́̆̈i͇̤̳͉̞̰̓̊̍̂̀l̶͙̺͎̜̯̲̫̮͂̓͊̉̏̈͊̽͢͠l̷̨̨͓͉̝̠͉͚̇̇̔̃̉͑̾͑͛͢ͅ b̸͖̗̭̰̩̼̤̊͋̃̉̊̄͆̔́́e̛̞͇͇͎̠̎̈́̓̃̇͊̕ w̡̨̛̛̘̪͙͚̻̔̓̒̊̇͢͞ả̵̗̰̹̻̼͕͑͊̉̆͘͢į͕̭̥̖̟͌̇̈́̊̒͟͜͞t̴̗͓̥̳͇̘̍͆͗̈́̆̕͞͞i̵̢̝̠͉̼͖͓͚͔͑̄̾̀̅̕n̝̬͍̼̺̑̍̌͂͠g͖͈̳̰̙̗͗͋̿́͑͟ h͉̰̜̘͈͕͑̑̾̋̕e̲̘͉̯̺͉̽͋͋͛͗̔r̷͓͖̻̘͚̹̫̭̓̎̂̋͐̈̉͟e̶̢͔̦͎̞̫̼̙̋̓̒̊̀͆̋͌ͅ f̶̡̧̟̺͔̘̠̥͗͛͋̕͝ȏ͔̺͍͋̾̽̅͟ͅr̷̦͕̟͉͖̞̜͓͌̉̐̎̊̆̔̎͘ ȳ̵̟̹̞͚͉̪̟͓̥͒̑̏̃ͅo̴̜̯̣̝̹͐͗̉̑̆̾͒͂̾̓ṷ̶̪̯̘̯̻͓̝̲̽͑͛͗̈̈̀

̢͖̟͓̘̳̃̈́̆̂̎͗l̡̰͙͚͚̈̆͊̈́̀͛͊̏̕͠ǫ̷̟͖͉̟̪͛̋̄̃̇͘͝ẏ̷̰͉̣̲͖͉̲̥̜̆̑̈́͗̉̚̚ͅä̡̧̛̮̘͎͉̽̚̕͠͝͠l̢̻͍̻̫̏͆̍́̉̂̎̎s̵̛͍̺͚̯̞͕̳͆̈́̑̔̓̋̌́͜ū̶̗̼̝̝̳͍͇͆̅͌̽̒̿͂͜͞b̸̡̨̢̞͚̯̾̓̾̔̿͐͆͗͡j̣̫̟̻̜̱̇̐̋͆̒̃͟e̸̢̲̺̘̼̼͍̊̃͂͜͢͝͠ċ̦͍͇̬̲͍̜̎̀͂̋̚͟͞ṱ̸͚̙̦͓̜̬̣͖̗̋̆̍̊͐̈́̎͆͘͡:̢͕͈̘͔͓̗̙͂̇̌͌̊́̀ W͔̗͓̭̤̋̀̓̃͂́̉̓̉͞h̢̩͎̟̘͑̅̃̈͞a̧̖͕͎͓̻͕̹͇͌̄͒̋͘t͎̜̥͉̦̯̹̊͆̄͑̃̃͢͝'̧̫͔͇̲̖͍̎̑̄̓͋̊͌͆̊s̯͕͍͚̯̤̝̃̃̉̐̓̄͊̔̓̕͢ ṉ̷̢̛̫̖̺̩̙̳̘̩̒̂͑̍̐̀e̢͓͔̭̩̫̋͌͛͐̔́̑͛̃w̷͙̣̺͚̻̓͋̚͘͠͝ S̯͔̣̃̐̉̃͜ͅċ̸̹̗̦̣̯̀̍̇̐̂̈́́ǫ̷͖̠̫̤̫̤̣̦̱̓͋̌̿̐̐́̕͠͝ő̢̨͙̘̭̦̯͕̇̽̒̿̿͝͡b̴̢̡̝̻̺̼͉̙͗̓͂͊̈́̆y̳̭̗̠̜̘̭̼̹̓͒͌̇͐̎͐̅ D̵̪͎̻͓̤̙̝̙̰͂̌͑̉͛̋͋̏͜͠͝o̢̢̻͔̼̩̞̠̅̿͋̑̋͋̑̋̕̕͢ͅo̵̮̦̦̘̘̙̗̳͙̒̍͑̐͛̃̀?̷̨̙̦͖̪͉̬͎͓̎̾̍͆̋͗̋͗̎͡

̠̘̬̗͗̿̒͛͊̈́͢͝͝l̵̠̫̮̗̖͖̇̐̇͋͂̚͜͠o̪̦̩̣̭̯̖̰͋̒̈̓̅̆̈͘͟͡y̨̳̫̮͚̬̬͔̫͊͗̅̽͆͒̋̕͟ạ̺̱̦̟̲͔̻̈́̿̒͋͘͟l͓̫̲̩͓͌̉̎̑̾͜͡š̷̨̱̦͚̼̟̦͌̓̏͗̽̀͊͟͝u̷̗͖̭̘̠̗̠̙̇̔̂͒̃̐̅͜͢b̷͖͈̘̠̖͙̝̅͐͑̅̂͛͌̈̅̕j̸̞̱̬̠̬̞͙̥̝̔͂̃̐͝͞͞ȇ̷̮̰̫͓͚͎͍̠́͆̓̉̌̇ç̵̧̙̤̣̤͔͖͓̪̉̒́͌̉̅͠͞t̶̖̭̩̰͙̊̐̄̅̇͆ͅ:͎̻͙̫̙͓̻̙̈́̇́̏̐̑̚̚ W̵͚̭̘̤͍͙̹͂̾̑̒̒̎͊̄͊͂͜ë̺͉̠͍͖͉̦̮̖̙́͌̃͛͘̕͠͝'̵̛̻͉̟͇̹̍̅͊͗̊̐͠ͅř̢̨̰̮̭̮͓̻͊̿̏̽̕͟e͉̪̮͕̭̝͚̭̜͊̅͊͐̊̾̀ c̶̮͓̼̼͎̭̳̦̀̐̎̉̽͗͟͟͝ǫ̛̗̬͈̗͖̟̠̒͑̇̓͟͝m̷̹̫͙͍͍͕̜̟͙͐̄̈͒͆̉͂͗̐i̵̤̻̲̝̭͈͓͕̫̍̍͒̀̂̕̚n̴̞͈͚̫̭̝̲͊͐̎͗ͅg̶̡̼̫̜̺͍̭̭̀̂̾́̅͝ ä̸̹̥̲̥͆͒́̌̽̅̂͜͞f̵̛͇͇̭̠͍̉͐́̽̈̎͊͂t̞̳͓̹̾̌̌́̊͘͜͞e̴̥͈̞̜͚̓̆̒̀̏͘r̵̡̹̟̺̿̂̓̍́͢͞ͅͅ y̨͚̙̲̥̼̋͆͐̂͒͑͜͢͟ͅo̴̧͎̩̩̥͇̔̆̊̋̽̉̏̽u̴̺̱̳̬͙̫͓̠͛͐̍̿̓͊͢͢͠

͙͚̝̜̦̘̌̅̒̏̿͘͘͝ľ̵̛̫̬͍̖̞̬̩̏̈̑͘̚̚̚͞o̷̧̨͉͓̻̘̟̲͆̑̇͐̓͊͢͟͡͝͡y̻̭̖͖̹̙͖̍͑̏̅͂͑̂ą̢̟̖͉̖̮͉̃͊̃͋͜͡l̵̡͚͙̹̞̺̀̋͒͊̌͜͜ş̷͈̖̥̼̲̳̟̬̇̈́̆̓̈͘ų̲̞̠͊͑̇̈͗̀͑͜b̤͎̱͕͕̳̹͚̭͋͊̓̈̕͟͠j̴̭͍̤̙͚̹̀̄̉̒̽̚͜͟e̗̞͔͓̣̓̐͛̚͠͝͝c̘͚͖̰̟̽̽̌͗̋̄̒̚t̨̨̘̟͔̜̱̔͛̃́̌͞:̢̦͓̯̺͒̀̊̎̀̕͟ W̧̧̻̖̜̫̭̤̹͊̏́̈́͑͊̿͢͝͠e̛̝̮͈͉͚̥̰̳̱͇̒͒̈́̃͌̑̀̚͝'̷̨̢͉̼̟̐̂͞͡r̴̛̭̳̹̲̲͚̀͒́̿̚̚ę̴͇̤̬̰͊̋̒̑͋̕̚͟͞ g̶͉̲̠̟͖̙̬̙̥͆̅̃̄̚͜͡ô̸̦̯̼͇̫̆͗̓̈͒̇̎̎͘͢n̢̟̖̺̰̭͎̮̗̉͂͌͂̒͞ṋ̷̡̨̜̟̹̫̽̿͑̏̌͊͜͝ͅa̷̠̝̬̲̩̲͍͓͍̺͐̄̚͘̕͡ s̡̙͓̖̪̥̘̖̜̍͆͑̐̎̚͝͞ǫ̷̺̼̘̳͎̲́͛̏̔̎͝͝ḽ͇̪̠̤͂͊̋̿̾͌̋v̷̤̙͍̣͖̼͈͚͉̹̆̅̐̍̄͒̂͘e̢̱̘̻̬̺͓͌̄̂̒̅͗̚ t̨̧̝̘̮̟̅͆͛͆͋̚͠͠ͅh̵͉͇̗͎͔̒̍͒̔͑͒͘͞ͅà̭͙͎̮͔̬̮̔͋̌͂̈́̌̃̓͜͢t̸̢̛͖͕͔͉͍̍̄̓͑̚ͅ m̮̬̫̬̣̥͒̇̃͋̂̆̿͛y̸̝͕̼̩̳̟̖̬̟̐͛̅̈́̅̓͜͠s̡̝̭̘̹̯̲̮̏̑̍̔̿̕͟͞t̖̟̝͉̙͙͖̖̳͂̇͊̄͟͝e̵̺̝̙̳͖̞͗͊͐̓̓̐͢r̵̡͎̹̥͇̬͍͉̃̄̂̾̓y̷̡̢̢̹͔̭̪͚̘̿͛̑̚͟

̶͇̯͍̝͚͕͔͖̈́͋̅̔̓͘͘l̡͓̬̥͕̗̺͇̘̒̌͑̏͠o̷̢̟͔̣͚̮̿̈͊͆͛͌̀͠ͅỵ̸̟͚̥̟̭̹͛͒́͐̿̇͠a̮͈͙̙͍̟͕̓́̽̓̽͜͜l̴̢̙̖͖͕̦̠͎̍̎̐̄͌̅̚͜͢s̙̞̻͇͈̟̈̉̾̂̿̑̅̿ü̸͍͔̮̻̐̐̽̄͢͞b̷̝̼͙̣͈̮̓̇͒͗̿̂̕j̛̟̟͙̜̐͊̽͟͟͞ȩ̴̛̬̫̱͇̪̫̅͊̃̆̔̓͜͟͡͝ͅć̯̗̪̰͚̲̲̂͋̎̕̕͞͝͝ẗ̡̜̬̮̰͈́̀̾͑:̛̠̖̪̳̪̗̫̓̒̃̔̇͂̉͠ I̳͕̳̹̜͋̍̌͡͠͡ͅ ş͓͓̗̔̒͂͒̕̚͜͡ë̢̢̘̞̻͈́̍͛̅̏͋͢͝ͅe̶̡͇̩̙͎̙͕̲̽̉͒͛̐̍ ỹ̸̡̧̼͕̳͖̗̳̿̑̊͐͆̓ó̴̢͖̟͎̝̪̔͊̅̇ȗ̷̺̺̥̻̺̽͑́̔͒͌̂͘͢͠ͅ S̵͈͎̤̭͐͌̄͒̽͛ͅc̴̡̭̞̠͉̺̻̫̈́̋͐̔̍̌͢o̸̯̼̪̭̻͈̾͑̅̀͘͜͟o̢̢̳̗̠͔͚̱͗̈̂͊͑͘͜͟b̸̧̛̩̙̹̺̟̬̦̻͓̂͐͊̀̽̊͋̓͡ÿ̴̦̥͈̼̬̱́̉́̑́͗̿̓͡ Ḑ̷̫̖̖̘̫̎́͑͗͂͜͟o̱̤̞̠͉̿͊̀̈́͌͜͜͝ǫ̴̺̖̝͎̻͕̈̄̇̑̋̆͘͘͠͝

̶̛̟̦̘̭̪̜̰͖͌̏̒̐̌͘l̛̤̣̯̼͕̽̎͋͌̓̄͆̄͊ͅơ̧̧̫̲͖͉̺̺̓̓́͆̃̌̑̃ÿ̧̘̖̱̻͕̇̓̅̈́̽͞͡à̸̪̩̟̾̉͢͟͡͝͡͠l̡̛̬̳͚̠̤͈͑̇̿̏̐͊̕̕͢s̵̬̝̫͔̱̙͕̘̮͖̏́̕͝͞ū̦͎͓̝̯͚̄̆̾͂̌̒̿̌͘b̵̪͇̰͚͙̱̂͂̀̋͑̅͗̕͜͠j̴͚̰̹͎̫̉̽́̃͒̉̌̓͟͡ͅę̨̟͉͖͓̩͙̩̽͐͋̚͝c̸̳̫̞̜̬̓̆͊̂͂̍̏̍͢͞t̵̜̫͕͔̖̜̳̣̋͆͋̐̄̚͞͝ͅ:̶̡̱͈̳͚̘̯̠̟͉͑͒͊̌̊͠ T̷͍̳̺̰͙̮̞̞̀̽̍̈́̂̈́ĥ̡̛̞͇̣͙̟̎͌̓̓͂͡͠e͔̠̬̪͓͍̖̠̋̋̎́͂̾͘͞ t̸͉̞̩͕̝̺̉̃́͑̃̓̋͘ȓ͇̳̥͚̘͕̀̎͗̓̔͘͡͡å̛͍̜̻̣̘̼͔̤͓͆̐͐͊͂̇͊͜͞i̖̖̲̮̮͔͂̒͐̒̕͜l̯͕̗̹̣͙͎̯̆̇̏͑̅̚͝͠ l̠̲̬͕̱̭̝͙͂͛̎̓̒̽͜͠ẹ̢̛̛̣͉̹͔̜̠̼̗̏̐͐͂̂̋͞ä̸̡̡̢̝̝̼͓́̓̐̂͘̕d͓̦̣̗͎̞͌͆̽͞ṣ̶̖͕̜͇̳̟̜͂̇̓͂̕ b̶̢̫͚̤͕͔̰͇̗͔͂̋̋͂̋͞ã̷͈͈͎͉̙͔͓̮͌̾̈́̏̍͛͢͠͡c̷̛͚̘͔̝̖̠̺̋͛̍̌̉̚ͅk̴̡͓̩̙̭̱͍̉͗́͋̌̅̈͜͠ t̶̨̧̮̯͓̣̰͓̾͊͐̋̈͝o̢̢̗͔͙̳̐̍̽͋͐͗̌̈̒͟ y̴̫̠̜̭̻͔̬͑̈́͐͛̂̀̿͢͢o̧͈͇̪͈͕̘̠͚̠͂͊̀̉̎͠ư̡͙̮͍̱̱̬̮̳͍͒̿̋͝͡͡͞͠͞ 

̡̧̨̛̥̺̤̐̿̋̿͗͊̚͟͟l̵̡̛̯̦̦͙̣̺͛̏̏̓̉̅͘ͅͅo͕̮̤͎̦͆̉̐͆͞͠y̼̦̻̣̼͎͚̻͓̍͛̀͒͡a̷̹̰͉͕̞̫̬̻͍͊̉͒̐̊̆͒͛͘͞l̢̨̮͙̬̲̎̓̐̀̅͐̽s̢̟̝͍͍̱̊̅͐̀̓ͅu̧̢̠͔̺͖͈̩̍͛̊̋́͊̍̈̚͘b̡̡̞̦͚̻͔͍̐̑́̏̈́͟ͅj̤̪̯̬͓̫̙̏̈́̐͞͝ë̶̝̤̺̺̤̝̳́͛̋̒͋̊͋́͞͠c̸̨̳̲͙̥̬̠̟͒̅͒̈͗͌t̨̢̬̤̩̼̬̟̃̀̒͗͞ͅ:͔͚̼͕͓̺̻̆̿̌͒̒̿̓͞͝ Ẁ̡͕̖̯̻͂̇̈́̎͌̾̊̎ḫ̛͔̰̗̫̂̆̐̿͑̏̆͢ͅa̴̫̘̤̥̝̒͐̒͋͐͡t̵̨̘̭̲͚̺̱̝̱̭̾͑̔͛͑͛’̡̳̩̫̲̃͑̈̃̚ş̟͉̠̗͓̫̯̂̆̅̉̽̽͛̇̃͘͟ ň̹̳͕͕͔̍̾̑̑̓̚͠͝ȩ̸̡̼̜͎̝̤̠̘̻͆̓͑̐̇͊w̡̭̜̻̑̉͌͒̑͟ Ș̶͙̦̲̬̱̏̾̃̈͌̀͟͟͞c̷̨̡͚̼̲̥̀̔̓̃͛͝ơ̶͇̫̮̮̖͉̟̝̐͗̇̀̚̚͢͠o̡̼̭̥̹̙̽̆̈̅̋͗̑̚͢b̶̤͖̖̙̪̪̟̦̍̿̏͝͡͡ŷ̴̛̥̱͓͉̰͂̂̿͘ D̴̛̖͇̞̤̤͇͖̈́̊̿̈̓̔̚͟͞o̵̺̦̠͔̦̼̳͈̱͊̐̽̌̆̇̈́̕o̻̺̦͉͈̽̅͋̌̔̐̀͞͝͞?̢͔̝̹̮̺͕̐͗̉̉̿͊̇͘͘͢͠ͅ

anactualdemon: Nope not getting involved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'what's new, scooby-doo?' the theme music used in 'what's new, scooby-doo?' it is performed by simple plan and was composed by rich dickerson and gigi meroni.
> 
> infinity war is the most ambitious crossover - hold my caprisun
> 
> i made a discord server uwu. lmk if you wanna be added in the comments below and i might consider it oop-
> 
> i don't really know what happened in this chapter. i think i was possessed by shaggy-
> 
> so we've done fanfic and book recs. let's do comic recs this week. this could be any comic, dc or otherwise. so lemme know what comics you'd rec down below. (my recs are probs ones i've done before but they're my favs)
> 
> kami garcia's teen titans series (teen titans: raven and teen titans: beast boy) - it's a fresh take on the titans and i am a massive fan of the artist picolo. (it helps that picolo is a beast boy stan like myself)
> 
> 'titans: titans together' 2020 - these are several comics featuring raven, beast boy, donna, starfire, dick and jason. you get some cute bb and chaotic batfam sibling shenanigans.
> 
> 'titans: burning rage' 2019 - this one's another short one but it has a pretty nice exploration of beast boy. also, tim is leader with starfire and raven also being on the team. they're all super wholesome in this fic, even though there is some angst oop-


	30. bois and gals of every age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN THIS IS HALLOWEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kid flash: worldwarzzombie  
> beast boy: steinsmonster  
> robin: morticiaaddams  
> raven: anactualdemon  
> starfire: spookybaby  
> cyborg: theterminator  
> jinx: fridaythe13th  
> argent: hallowqueen

<dial 666 to summon the titans> 00:00

worldwarzzombie: HAPPY HALLOWEEN

steinsmonster: EYYYYY

steinsmonster: wanna drive to the most spooky place we know?

worldwarzzombie: dennys?

steinsmonster: duh

worldwarzzombie: but we went recently and robin still hasnt forgiven me for losing the twins 

steinsmonster: but i didnt get to go to dennys :(((

morticiaaddams: we could turn the tower into a haunted house?

steinsmonster: YAASSSS

worldwarzzombie: YEET LETS GO SHOPPING

morticiaaddams: why do i already regret this?

anactualdemon: You’re a fool

morticiaaddams: @spookybaby please hold me

spookybaby: But I want to help decorate the tower?

spookybaby: Can I carry you round instead?

morticiaaddams: yes please

steinsmonster: @theterminator can you carry me?

steinsmonster: i dont need comfort im just lazy

theterminator: fine

steinsmonster: ya yeet

worldwarzzombie: jinxxxx?? <3<3<3

fridaythe13th: dont even think about it

worldwarzzombie: :((((

worldwarzzombie: can we hold hands at least?

fridaythe13th: fine

hallowqueen: can i help design the haunted house?

worldwarzzombie: AW YEAH WE GOT ARGENT THIS HOUSE IS GONNA BE SICK

<dial 666 to summon the titans> 6:03

anactualdemon: Can we please listen to something other than This is Halloween?

hallowqueen: you got beef with this is halloween?

anactualdemon: No but we’ve been listening to it for 6 hours already

steinsmonster: only 18 hours to go :))))

anactualdemon: Can we at least throw some other Halloween songs in the mix?

steinsmonster: nope :)

worldwarzzombie: its only 24 hours raven

worldwarzzombie: it could have been the entirety of october

fridaythe13th: it could be worse

fridaythe13th: at least kids not singing

worldwarzzombie: whats wrong with my singing?

fridaythe13th: in the politest way possible

fridaythe13th: you sound like a dying walrus

steinsmonster: hey thats mean

worldwarzzombie: thank you bb

steinsmonster: walruses sing much better than kf

worldwarzzombie: i-

<dial 666 to summon the titans> 18:39

morticiaaddams: right where are you all?

worldwarzzombie: youll have to go through the haunted house to find out :)

morticiaaddams: ok fine

morticiaaddams: but i’m bringing a knife with me

hallowqueen: if you rip any of the decorations i will use my powers to yeet you out a window

morticiaaddams: i’m no longer bringing a knife with me

morticiaaddams: but i warn you

morticiaaddams: i know kung fu

<dial 666 to summon the titans> 19:11

morticiaaddams: ok i’m in the central ops

morticiaaddams: where are you all?

worldwarzzombie: TITANS GO

morticiaaddams: whatAHIuchuhhucsukd

worldwarzzombie: victory :)

morticiaaddams: well played

morticiaaddams: now

morticiaaddams: can someone please get beast boy off me?

morticiaaddams: thank you raven

morticiaaddams: so how long have you all been waiting around dressed as me?

spookybaby: About 3 hours (｡●́‿●̀｡)

steinsmonster: was wurth it to hear that scream

steinsmonster: it was *chefs kiss*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> realistically, robin could have found them all in seconds, but he knows how much halloween means to his team.
> 
> we've reached the end of spooky month. i'm gonna miss it. although, it'll be a relief to go back to my normal posting schedule because this was hectic. 
> 
> the uk is going back into lockdown, yet schools/colleges/unis are all staying open. i was hoping they'd all shut so i'd have a bit more time to procrastinate college work and write more of this fic because i still need 5 more chapters to know i'm safe til christmas. i was gonna write today, but i needed a break. it takes way more brain power to think of something remotely funny for this fic than i currently have. but i wanna write a couple herald x jericho fluff chapters because i haven't been doing them justice recently.
> 
> oop best ask a question else blue will show up to yeet me out of existence. if you could have any superpower, what power would you want?
> 
> i never know with this one. maybe it's because i think too much but like i can't think of a power without then thinking of all the drawbacks. the most obvious one is flight, but heights make me feel sick unless i'm on a plane. telepathy sounds like a fast way to get a migraine. having the power to tell when someone's lying sounds cool, but i don't want to know if someone's lying when they compliment me :( superspeed sounds cool, but the chafing must be killer. maybe telekinesis because then i could write as fast as i thought so i could keep up in lessons. i dunno tho
> 
> anyway, see y'all on monday.


	31. shameless fluff warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the title says all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> herald: hornblower  
> robin: boywonder  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> kid flash: bbyflash

<titans assemble> 10:23

hornblower: jericho is the cutest bean in existence

hornblower: and i love him

boywonder: i hear you

boywonder: and i raise you a starfire

hornblower: strong argument

hornblower: but consider jericho with a flower crown

boywonder: adorable

boywonder: but what about starfire with space buns

horseshoe: we get it

horseshoe: your lovers are very cute

bbyflash: jinx why do you never call me cute??

horseshoe: because youre no match for jericho and starfire

bbyflash: i mean youre right

bbyflash: but you could at least lie to me

horseshoe: ok fine

horseshoe: youre cute

bbyflash: ahuhfiuehf <3<3<3

horseshoe: i cant believe im a morosexual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're at a point where i barely remember what i've written. i upload chapters and i'm like 'woah that happened.'
> 
> i have college tomorrow. let's pray i don't catch corona.
> 
> today's question is inspired by dick grayson. what is your favourite cereal?
> 
> my fav cereal to eat at like a breakfast time would be frosties because i don't like anything too sweet in the morning. and that relies on if like i feel physically capable of eating breakfast because usually i feel a lil sick in the mornings. so normally i don't eat breakfast and i'm not usually up at that time anyway unless i have college. but if i'm just eating cereal for the sake of it, my go to is cookie crisp because that shit SLAPS.


	32. robinchu i choose you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> robin is a teen too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> robin: boywonder  
> kid flash: bbyflash  
> beast boy: greenbean  
> raven: mcrisback  
> cyborg: baymax  
> starfire: sunshine

<titans assemble> 13:42

boywonder: what was that crash?

bbyflash: what crash?

bbyflash: i dont know what youre on about

bbyflash: did you hear a crash beast boy?

bbyflash: because i didnt?

greenbean: nope

greenbean: no crashes here

greenbean: must be your immajinashun

greenbean: imajinacion *

greenbean: immaginaccion **

greenbean: mind

mcrisback: Nice recovery

boywonder: right

boywonder: i’ll ask again

boywonder: what was that crash?

baymax: NOTHING HAPPENED

baymax: tell em starfire

sunshine: It is true

sunshine: Nothing happened (. ❛ _ ❛.) 

boywonder: you best not be involving starfire in your shenanigans again

bbyflash: you think so little of us

greenbean: yeah

greenbean: dis was starfires idea

boywonder: i don’t believe you

sunshine: It is true

sunshine: The thing that is not happening is my idea

boywonder: just please don’t burn down the tower

greenbean: i make no promisses

boywonder: you know what i’ll take it

boywonder: as long as y’all aren’t having a secret party without me again

greenbean: hey

greenbean: i also didnt get to atend the secret party

boywonder: yeah but they actively hid it from me

bbyflash: careful guys

bbyflash: hes trying to guilt us into telling him

sunshine: He is most convincing.

bbyflash: dont give in star

bbyflash: stay strong

sunshine: It is difficult.

greenbean: shes not rong

greenbean: im strugulling 2

bbyflash: no

bbyflash: not you bb

bbyflash: stay strong

boywonder: why do you have to have this convo over chat?

boywonder: aren’t you next to each other?

bbyflash: no?

greenbean: you fink i can keep up with kid flash?

boywonder: what are y’all doing?

boywonder: please tell me?

greenbean: oh no

bbyflash: oh no

baymax: he used the please attack

greenbean: im gunna tell him

sunshine: We are racing on heelies, Robin.

sunshine: Please do not be mad.

boywonder: ouch

boywonder: this hurts

boywonder: i can’t believe you didn’t invite me

baymax: do you even have heelies?

boywonder: of course

boywonder: who do you think i am?

greenbean: then get over here

boywonder: noice

<that hairdo smells fishy> 18:01

thespy: *hacker voice* i’m in

thebrains: finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's just pretend this chapter came out yesterday when it was supposed to oop.
> 
> I'M SORRY OK! i meant to post this yesterday but like obviously i didn't oop. we did a lot of book work in college yesterday and i'm meant to wear my glasses when my eyes get tired, but i didn't and i ended up with a headache. then i got home and didn't put my glasses on while on my laptop, so by like 9pm my head was killing, so i went to bed early and completely forgot to upload the chapter before going to sleep. i woke up at 9am today with the realisation i hadn't and also after dreaming an alright beast boy-centric fic idea.
> 
> i don't have a question for today because my brain is fried from college this week.


	33. aqualad and speedy exposed?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> all aboard the angst train. destination? hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kid flash: bbyflash  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> cyborg: baymax  
> raven: mcrisback  
> starfire: sunshine  
> robin: boywonder  
> speedy: boywonder2  
> aqualad: fishie  
> bumblebee: buzzlightyear  
> hot spot: fiyahhh  
> jericho: guitarsolo  
> herald: hornblower

<titans assemble> 7:03

bbyflash: good morning

bbyflash: have i got news for you

horseshoe: aqualad and speedy are dating

baymax: WAIT WHAT?!

mcrisback: Adhbjhjbfehjbejhc

sunshine: Really?

sunshine: Congratulations Speedy and Aqualad ヽ(^o^)ノ

greenbean: well duh

greenbean: theyve been dating for ages

bbyflash: WAIT

bbyflash: YOU KNEW?!

greenbean: yeah

greenbean: theyre not exactley suptul

fishie: oh shit

fishie: @boywonder2

boywonder2: what?

boywonder2: oh

boywonder2: OH

boywonder2: fuck

-boywonder2 has left titans assemble-

boywonder: i told you not to harass them too much

bbyflash: woops? 

boywonder: aqualad, you ok?

fishie: sort of

fishie: im gonna check on speedy tho

fishie: ill be back

boywonder: take as long as you need

sunshine: Is something wrong?

sunshine: Is it not wonderful that Aqualad and Speedy are together?

boywonder: it’s not that

boywonder: speedy and aqualad probably wanted to reveal their relationship on their own terms

boywonder: which brings me to how you found them out in the first place?

bbyflash: well it was jinxs plan

horseshoe: guilty as charged

horseshoe: i may have asked bumblebee to spy on them

horseshoe: and gotten hot spot to investigate while hanging out with them

horseshoe: i may have also sent jericho with him to try and avoid suspicion

horseshoe: and i may have used kid as the distraction because hes the most suspicious person here

horseshoe: and herald was there so we could sneak about

buzzlightyear: it’s my fault

buzzlightyear: i saw them kissing and i told the others

fiyahhh: i mean i was getting pretty close to hearing it from aqualad anyway

guitarsolo: im sorry for upsetting speedy and aqualad m(_ _)m

bbyflash: i mean

bbyflash: i gathered everyone in the first place

hornblower: yeah but we went along with it

boywonder: well it’s done now

boywonder: all we can do is hope aqualad can cheer up speedy

greenbean: u guys r in troubleeeee

mcrisback: Not the time Beastboy

greenbean: oop sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't do this in real life kids. because sometimes people keep secrets for reasons. :))))
> 
> welcome to the spaqualad angst fest. i'm not as happy with the 'arc' as i was with beast boy's but like what can i do ya know. keep an eye out for trigger warnings in the next few chapters.
> 
> today's question is what was your favourite disney channel movie? (and by this i don't mean like animated disney. and im gonna say hsm and camp rock are excluded from this as they are superior and therefore unfair competition.)
> 
> my fav is probably lemonade mouth. it's just chaotic and features hayley kiyoko which is a win from me. also there's singing so that's fun. i feel like y'all are gonna say sky high and honestly, i can barely remember sky high. like my brain has just yeeted it out, which is odd because i know i've watched it.


	34. kid flash had a good run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'for you? i'd stab wally 1000 times'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: implied abuse and homophobia. also drug abuse mention towards the end.

Aqualad takes a moment to stand outside Speedy’s door. He’s not that bothered about the others knowing, but he knows Speedy is. However, that doesn’t mean he was prepared to wake up to Kid Flash revealing his relationship with Speedy to all the Titans. He takes a deep breath, ignoring how breathing in oxygen has never felt natural, and goes to knock on the door.

He barely even taps the doors when Speedy’s voice rings out. “Fuck off Garth. I want to be alone.” Aqualad chuckles; it’s bloody typical of his boyfriend to retreat into himself when upset. However, Aqualad’s not the type to give up so easily, especially when he knows how much Speedy secretly likes being pampered. But, he also knows that Speedy won’t admit to that, so he changes tactics.

“Have you considered that maybe I wanted the company?” Aqualad tries for.

“Liar.” Speedy shoots back. “You were never that bothered about who knew. It’s just me and my stupid fucking brain.”

And Aqualad isn’t letting that thought process continue. “Now that’s not being fair, Roy. Maybe I’m not as upset as you, but I’m still irritated and maybe I want to be irritated with someone who understands my frustration.” He treads carefully. “Besides, I don’t want to be around the others right now. I don’t trust myself to stop myself from punching Kid Flash in the face.”

“You should punch him in the face.” Speedy’s moving around in his room and Aqualad allows himself to hope he’s almost convinced Speedy.

“I should.” Aqualad agrees. “But that would rob you of the honour and what sort of boyfriend would I be if I did that?”

The door slides open. “I hate you.” Speedy stands in front of him and Aqualad takes in the red rims of Speedy’s eyes and his messed up hair. He doesn’t get long before Speedy tugs him inside and slams the door shut behind him. Speedy storms back over to the bed and flops onto it. He tugs the duvet up and Aqualad has to force back a chuckle at how cute his boyfriend can be.

Aqualad approaches the bed and sits next to Speedy. “So grumpy, you gonna tell me how much you want to fight Kid Flash?”

Speedy scowls at Aqualad. “I thought you came in here for company.”

Aqualad smirks. “I think we both know that I was bluffing.”

“Bitch.” Speedy jabs him in the side.

“Ow.” Aqualad jabs him back. “Save your anger for the others.”

“I have anger to spare.” Speedy pouts. “Kid Flash is a dick.”

“Yup.” Aqualad agrees. 

“He’s a nosey little shit.” Speedy adds.

“Uh-huh.” 

“I’m gonna punch him in the face.”

“Of course.”

“I’m gonna fill all his heelies with beans.”

“Ok.”

“I’m gonna-” And Speedy pauses, biting his lip. “I just- I wanted to be the one to tell them.”

“I know.” Aqualad lays down next to him. He fumbles with the duvet for a while until he’s able to find one of Speedy’s hands. He holds it and they lay there.

“I’m sorry.” Speedy breaks the silence after a while. “I should have told them ages ago.”

“It’s ok.” Aqualad reassures him, tracing shapes on his hand.

“It’s not ok.” Speedy argues. “They were never gonna react badly. I mean they didn’t care when Herald and Jericho got together or when Starfire and Robin did. I just-”

“It’s ok, Roy.” Aqualad reassures him again. “You had a bad experience and you didn’t want a repeat of that.”

“But they’re nothing like him.” Speedy states. “They’re nothing like him and I know that, but I just couldn’t-”

“Shhh.” Aqualad moves one of his hands to cup Speedy’s face. “I know. You were just protecting yourself.”

“I shouldn’t have to!” Speedy cries. “I shouldn’t be scared to tell people about us and worst of all, I was making you hide too.”

“Hey, don’t worry about me. I told you before, it was kind of fun hiding from the others and messing with them.” Aqualad reassures. “And guess what? Now we can mess with them even more.”

“Maybe.” Speedy begins to cave. “But later. For now, I want to stay here.”

“Yes boss.” Aqualad teases and pulls Speedy in close. 

“I hate you.” Speedy mumbles.

“Love you too.” Aqualad smiles.

His eyes begin to close when they catch on something. He sits up, disrupting Speedy. He rips open Speedy’s bedside table and pulls out a small packet.

“Garth-” Speedy’s breath hitches. “I can explain.”

“Where’s the rest?” Aqualad questions, forcing his voice to remain even.

“That’s all of it. I promise.” Speedy pleads, resting his hand on Aqualad’s shoulder. “Garth please, come back to bed.”

Aqualad sighs. “You said you’d tell us if it was getting bad again.” He goes through the rest of the drawer, pulling out a couple other packets. “How long since you started again?”

“Not long, I promise.” Speedy tugs on Aqualad’s suit. “Please, can we deal with this later? I just want to hide for a bit.”

Aqualad takes a long moment to look into Speedy’s eyes. “Fine, but we’ll talk about this later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cough*fuckgreenarrow*cough*
> 
> honestly, the kids aren't alright. i skipped over the drug mention a lil bit but it is gonna pop up again later. aka chapter 36 is a long ass mess and i can't wait to write down all the trigger warnings for that chapter. (kill me now) again though, i don't want to go too deep into the angst fest because this is but a mere gc fic, which is why most the deep shit goes down in chapter 36. that and a lot of the issues the titans go through are things that i don't know enough about. like i don't know shit about drugs. but i'll talk more about this in the end notes of chapter 36. 
> 
> in more fun news, my biology teacher is the best in existence. (i have 2 biology teachers and i'm sure as heck not talking about the one who accidentally deadnamed me in front of the class for a lesson.) she sent me an email the other day and was like 'i noticed you put down 'prefer not to say' for pronouns on your enrolment form and i just wanted to make sure you will be ok because we're doing chromosomes in biology next lesson and in it we discuss x and y chromosomes.' she then added 'i always start the lesson by saying sex and gender are different and more variables need to be considered when it comes to gender, but i just wanted to make sure you were comfortable and aware of the subject material.' like it was the most wholesome email i've ever received. she emailed me just to make me aware of something which might be potentially triggering prior to the lesson and honestly, she's my fav person. like i'm chill because i know gender is more complicated than chromosomes, but like just the fact that she took the time to warn me? iconic. we've decided to stan forever. 
> 
> my question today is do y'all have any funny classroom stories?
> 
> i have a couple. the first is about my chemistry class in high school. my class was a mess despite all of us taking the higher paper for chemistry?? like i dunno what happened there. and we all hated our chemistry teacher. like actually despised her. she was an old lady and her breath was always stankyyyyy. also, she had a moustache and she didn't wear a bra so her nipples were always pointing out. and nowadays, i don't care about those last two factors, but this was high school and kids are MEANNNN. it wasn't just her appearance tho; she was such a bitch. she walked around with this little pink notebook which she'd write names of kids who were chatting in. she said she was using it so she knew who to give detentions to, but no one i knew ever got a detention because of it?? she was an awful teacher too and she always set too much homework.
> 
> anyway, we all hated her. so of course, it meant we all clowned her to hell and back. the ceiling in the lab had tiles and like there were a few tiles missing, so there was like holes in the ceiling?? they gave off vent vibes. anyway, one lad spent a whole lesson trying to throw a stool into one of the holes and she just didn't notice?? and another time someone changed the clock so we had more time to work on our coursework before our physics lesson. (i think he turned it back like half an hour WITHOUT HER NOTICING.) like we were all wetting ourselves because she didn't notice until her next lesson comes in after waiting outside for half an hour and ask her when she's gonna let them in. she spends like 5 minutes looking at her watch then the clock before being like 'oh that clock must have stopped.' SHE HAD ZERO SUS ABOUT IT BEING ANY OF US. our physics teacher just laughed when we told him. like he was way too chill and just accepted we were gremlin children.
> 
> on the other hand, was our english teacher who we all loved. we had so many inside jokes with him by the end of the year. like he was an absolute mad lad. anyway, in one lesson we were playing a game. you know how in countdown they have to make words from letters? well in this game you had to create words from this really long word he put on the board. (don't ask what the word was i don't remember.) but of course one lad is like 'oh you can get the word anal.' and my teacher is like 'god i don't get paid enough for this shit.' then, this kid comes in to deliver something and my teacher's like 'oh can you make any words with the letters from this word on the board?' and the kid says 'regret' then leaves. and in a brilliant moment of word association our teacher turns to us and is like 'regret your anal.' and we all die laughing because we're gremlin children and our english teacher is a chaotic entity.
> 
> however, our head of year was walking past at that moment and just hears our english teacher with zero context say 'regret your anal' and is rightfully confused and a little concerned. and none of us can stop laughing for long enough to explain it.


	35. return of the man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we can pretend all we want that we're happy but something's gotta change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: drug mention towards the end
> 
> aqualad: fishie  
> speedy: boywonder2  
> kid flash: bbyflash  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> cyborg: baymax  
> robin: boywonder

<titans assemble> 17:32

-fishie has added boywonder2 to titans assemble-

boywonder2: id give you a headstart to run kid

boywonder2: but you dont really need it

bbyflash: IM SORRY PLS DONT KILL ME

bbyflash: I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR

bbyflash: BESIDES IT WOULD MAKE JINX SAD

boywonder2: oh jinx is next on our list

horseshoe: thats valid

horseshoe: but like i dont have superspeed so can i have a headstart?

boywonder2: sure

boywonder2: you have until ive finished hunting down kid flash :)

bbyflash: itbeanreal niceknownig yall but gottadhas

boywonder2: you cant hide forever kid

baymax: he cant hide at all

baymax: robin put the tower on lockdown

bbyflash: i can fizelh throught he wlals

boywonder: not in this tower :)

bbyflash: waithauhfukfhkfkjbh

boywonder: feel free to come collect kid flash whenever :)

fishie: the son of batman alright

<pm: boywonder to fishie> 17:59

boywonder: how is he really?

fishie: not great

fishie: he always blames himself for the way hes feeling

fishie: and he started using again

boywonder: fuck

fishie: it doesnt look like its been long

fishie: but hed been clean for so long

boywonder: i know but relapses happen

boywonder: does he still talk to canary?

fishie: i dunno

boywonder: i might bring it up

boywonder: not just for speedy’s sake

boywonder: i think some of the other’s could use a chance to talk to canary too

fishie: that might be a good idea

boywonder: for now, i might encourage us all to talk about it

fishie: you know not everyone will be down for it

boywonder: i know

boywonder: but i’m hoping i can trust you to help me in encouraging others

fishie: of course

fishie: fab five gotta stick together

boywonder: and ebony squad

fishie: aw yeah

fishie: god i miss donna

boywonder: i know

boywonder: i tried asking her if she wanted to join titans but she just laughed

fishie: classic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dc let heroes have therapy challenge.
> 
> i'm a little eh on next chapter, it's very long and there's a lot going on and i might break it up into several chapters just to spread it out a bit.
> 
> i have college tomorrow and i don't wanna go. my biology teacher has a cough and went to get a covid test but she might not get the results from the test until wednesday. i don't have her til thursday, but i'm worried because she was in contact with the other half of my course on thursday and on fridays both halves merge. so like if she has it then all of my course is at risk. but like they've not told us don't go in tomorrow and i just :/ i can't simply skip because i have to hand in a physical copy of my psychology essay tomorrow oop. it's stressful.
> 
> my question today is favourite songs/vibes to listen to while commuting to and from work/school/college
> 
> i like to listen to energetic songs in the morning. i'm not really a morning person and the length of time i'm on the bus is long enough for me to fall asleep, so i need to listen to like very fast and upbeat songs in the morning. so i end up listening to quite a bit of fall out boy and my chemical romance on the way too school. like vampire money by mcr really wakes me up in the morning and novocaine by fob.
> 
> on the way home, i like to listen to more chill vibes music. i like listening to heng:garae by seventeen as most of the songs on that album are still upbeat but a little more relaxed. spring day by bts is also super relaxing, same with 4 o'clock and rm's mixtape mono.


	36. honesty hour: dark like the lighting used in dc movies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in other words, the kids aren't alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: discussions of death, gangs, murder, discrimination, child abuse, child abandonment, electrocution, human experimentation, alcoholism and child neglect
> 
> robin: boywonder  
> aqualad: fishie  
> kid flash: bbyflash  
> cyborg: baymax  
> speedy: boywonder2  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> raven: mcrisback  
> beast boy: greenbean  
> kole: toughcookie

<titans assemble> 10:01

boywonder: so it’s come to my attention that as leader of the titans, i’ve been neglecting everyone’s mental health

boywonder: i’m currently getting in contact with black canary to try and offer support to all of you

boywonder: i can’t force you all to talk to her, but i highly recommend you all have at least one meeting with her

boywonder: in the meantime, if anyone has anything they need to talk about, this is always a safe space

boywonder: because if it wasn’t, i’d be seriously concerned about my superhero picking skills

fishie: your person skills are questionable

boywonder: I’M A PEOPLE PERSON

fishie: debatable :)

boywonder: i’m more personable than batman

bbyflash: thats a low bar

boywonder: ANYWAY

boywonder: this is a safe space to discuss any issues, recent or from a while ago

boywonder: i’ll go first

bbyflash: we finally gonna hear the robin origin story?

boywonder: shhh

bbyflash: just trying to ease the tension

boywonder: i hate you

boywonder: anyway, technically speedy, aqualad and kid flash already know most of this but here we go

boywonder: i was an aerial acrobat in the circus with my parents

boywonder: however a gang showed up asking for protection money from the owners

boywonder: the owners refused and the gang sabotaged the trapeze ropes in retaliation

boywonder: my parents didn’t make it

boywonder: batman took me in and trained me to be robin

boywonder: i mean there’s more but that’s the main bit

baymax: damn rob thats dark

boywonder: gotta fit into gotham somehow

fishie: you live in jump city

boywonder: why you gotta call me out like this?

fishie: its my job

boywonder2: youre extra sassy tonight

fishie: i learnt from the best

fishie: jinx

boywonder2: aww thanks

boywonder2: wait what

horseshoe: the boi said what he said

boywonder2: :(

baymax: anyway thanks for sharing that rob

baymax: i know it must have been difficult

boywonder: thanks cy

fishie: well seeing as rob shared

fishie: i guess ill share

fishie: atlanteans arent as accepting as we might look

fishie: theres a lot of discrimination

fishie: i guess you theres a lot of racism between different atlanteans

fishie: there are atlanteans that look virtually human

fishie: and then there are those who look more fishlike

fishie: of course having any kind of fish features is frowned upon

fishie: and of course my eyes arent exactly human

fishie: i dont exactly know who my parents are

fishie: aquaman wont tell me

fishie: but i was originally left to die

fishie: i was so young

boywonder2: can i fight like all of atlantis?

fishie: i mean i did punch quite a few walls when i heard about the history of atlantis

boywonder2: noice

boywonder: remind me to punch aquaman next time i see him

fishie: im sure batman would love to see that

boywonder: a hard choice

boywonder: defending a friend and making batman happy

boywonder: or disappointing batman yet letting aquaman’s face remain unpunched

boywonder2: tough choice

bbyflash: the fab 5 sure are chatty today

bbyflash: seems sus

boywonder: remind me to never care about kf ever again

bbyflash: definitely sus

bbyflash: but i need my batman deflector

bbyflash: so i guess rob is innocent

boywonder: that’s what i like to hear :)

bbyflash: but i guess if were sharing ill go

bbyflash: i mean my past wasnt necessarily bad

boywonder: that’s a lie but go on

bbyflash: but the accident that gave me powers wasnt exactly pleasant

bbyflash: flash went through virtually the same experience though

bbyflash: so we talk about it often

bbyflash: but i mean it hurt

bbyflash: i mean i should have died

bbyflash: but instead you got one speedy boi

baymax: i feel you kid

baymax: i had my whole life set out

baymax: i was on my way to a sports scholarship at college

baymax: my dad wasnt exactly happy about it but what could they do

baymax: but my dad had been distant since my mom died

baymax: he started staying at work late and drinking when he was at home

baymax: he missed a big game and i went to call him out on it

baymax: but i tripped on a wire and shit hit the fan

baymax: dads tech saved my life but it also ruined my life

baymax: my gf at the time dumped me and my friends refused to talk to me

baymax: i felt like a freak

baymax: and then i met beast boy and raven

baymax: and i realised compared to robin

baymax: im normal

boywonder: rude

boywonder2: damn and i thought raven was savage

mcrisback: I learnt from the best

greenbean: anyway team accident rise up say i

baymax: oof i

bbyflash: eyyyyy

toughcookie: mood

baymax: wait what?

toughcookie: well my dad wanted to experiment on me

toughcookie: he was aiming to force humans to evolve to be able to survive a nuclear holocaust

toughcookie: instead i ended up being able to change into crystal

toughcookie: so my powers were a complete accident

baymax: what is it with parents and experimenting on their kids?

greenbean: i no rite?

baymax: everytime i hear anything related to bbs past im terrified

baymax: like talking to you is a landmine

greenbean: i am trauma™ 

mcrisback: As someone who knows about Beast Boy’s past, it is honestly some crazy shit

mcrisback: And my dad is a demon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little note, while this is honesty hour, it doesn't mean the titans have revealed everything related to their pasts and traumas. certain people might have casually dodged certain subjects :))))) like most these characters need a whole novel to talk about all their traumas.
> 
> i mean robin just shared the bare bones of his parent's death and his history with zucco. kid flash very sneakily skedaddled past literally most of his traumas to the one that's most known.
> 
> also, the biggest thing with superheroes is they're all traumatised and because of that they probably have a different mindset when it comes to what's 'traumatising' and what's 'just another day on the job'. therefore it's easy for them to try to minimise their trauma in the presence of other heroes. of course, the others aren't gonna think those traumas are small, but people sometimes struggle to put their own trauma into perspective. so like kid flash probably brushes off a lot of his past as 'not that bad' because he's thinking about all the shit the other's have been through, when really he's been through a shit ton.
> 
> i have mixed feelings about silas. like he's not a good dad, but he does care about victor. like he did save vic's life and he does miss his wife, but he's neglectful and puts a lot of pressure on vic. vic deserves better.
> 
> i couldn't remember kole's past of the top of my head and holy shit it's buck wild. like her dad is a dick. like silas and gar's parents did what they had to to save their kids, but kole's dad just experimented on her. 
> 
> also, if i'm referencing beast boy's traumas a lot, i do apologise. i'm most familiar with his past so i tend to be able to reference it more on the ball whereas with some of the others i have to check bits of their history to make sure i've not just plucked it out of a fanfic i read at some point in time. also, when pulling bits from comics i have to consider the time frame that this sort of occurs in. like certain events won't have happened yet and others can't happen. like sadly lian probably won't be a thing in this because roy's with garth and because of the ages i have in my head for the characters in this fic, he would have been too young to have had lian beforehand.
> 
> yeah, i headcanon raven knows a lot about beast boy's past. i can see raven being the most likely candidate (other than cyborg) for beast boy to discuss his past with. i feel like cyborg knows bits and pieces, but not all. robin also picks up on bits from time to time.
> 
> and obviously, none of these traumas are gonna disappear just because they talked about it. they'll definitely pop up again in the future because i'm a sucker for angst AND FOR LETTING CHARACTERS TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS UNLIKE SOMEONE *cough*DC*cough*
> 
> i've been at college all week and my brain is too fried to think of a question so instead have a lovely lil hint at what's going down next chapter: raven, hot spot, argent, jericho and starfire discuss a lil bit about their pasts :)))))


	37. honesty hour: what team? wildcats!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry your what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: discussions of rape, abandonment, abuse, hostage situations, slavery, war and torture. also sl*de, bl*ckfire and tr*gon are mentioned ew.
> 
> raven: mcrisback  
> beast boy: greenbean  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> cyborg: baymax  
> argent: itsnotaphase  
> robin: boywonder  
> hot spot: fiyahhh  
> starfire: sunshine  
> jericho: guitarsolo

<titans assemble> 11:11

mcrisback: Speaking of, you all pretty much know my past

mcrisback: My mom joined a Satanic cult intent on raising a demon

mcrisback: They got my dad and he took my mum as his bride

mcrisback: He raped her and I was the result of that

mcrisback: My mom took refuge in Azarath and I was raised there

mcrisback: I came to Earth where I was meant to fulfill the prophecy

mcrisback: But as you all know, we stopped it

greenbean: yeah and u yeeted trigonometry the fuck out

mcrisback: Did you just call my dad, an actual demon, ‘trigonometry’?

greenbean: yeah

greenbean: i hate math and i hate ur dad

mcrisback: Please tell me you hate my dad more than you hate math

greenbean: duh

greenbean: math didnt comit an endless amownt of sins

greenbean: it only comitted a few

mcrisback: I’m so concerned about you

horseshoe: how is it that more of you werent villains at some point in your life?

greenbean: teknickly i was forced to steal back in africa

[ <horseshoe sent a photo> ](https://i.redd.it/7nkhya2lrji41.jpg)

baymax: SEE THIS IS WHAT I MEAN

baymax: YOU CANT MENTION ANYTHING WITHOUT BEAST BOY BEING LIKE ‘WELL ACTUALLY’

greenbean: what can i say?

greenbean: i got the range

itsnotaphase: i mean technically hot spot and i were raised to destroy all the superheroes on earth

boywonder: you were what?

fiyahhh: aw memories

itsnotaphase: you ok with me sharing hot spot?

fiyahhh: go ahead

itsnotaphase: so we were both born on earth but when i was 16 i was teleported to another planet along with several others including hot spot 

itsnotaphase: apparently we were hybrids of human and h’san natall born to destroy super-powered beings on earth

fiyahhh: but argent and i defected and decided to protect the earth instead

greenbean: wild

greenbean: WAIT YALL R ALIENS?!

fiyahhh: i mean half alien but sure

fiyahhh: what did you think we were?

greenbean: i thot u were team accident

greenbean: but ure team alien

sunshine: Wonderful! There are more people to join team alien!

mcrisback: I would say I want more people on team alternate dimension

mcrisback: But considering the chances of them being another demon

mcrisback: I’m happy to be the only one

boywonder: what about larry?

mcrisback: I’m. Happy. To. Be. The. Only. One.

baymax: its also kind of rude that beast boy is in half over half the teams

greenbean: cant help that im team dead parents, accident, animal, criminal, experiment and experiment at the hands of a family member

baymax: how old are you again?

greenbean: its rude to ask a women her age

baymax: youre a guy?

baymax: did you just shift into a women to prove a point?

baymax: i didnt even know you could do that?

greenbean: well yeah, i can change my dna?

greenbean: i just dont do it often cuz theres no point

greenbean: and cuz i like being a boy

guitarsolo: what about team my dad is slade?

baymax: jericho wins

baymax: i cannot defeat him

mcrisback: I mean my dad was a literal demon, but Slade?

mcrisback: Slade is a human and he manages to be as bad as my dad

mcrisback: And that makes him infinitely more terrifying

guitarsolo: yeah hes also the reason i cant speak

baymax: i dont usually like to feed robins slade obsession

baymax: but rob have you had any leads on slade recently?

boywonder: now that you mention it

guitarsolo: discuss slade away from me please

boywonder: sorry jericho

guitarsolo: thank you

guitarsolo: but dads ‘work’ made us a target

guitarsolo: some guys took me hostage and my dad thought he could be faster than them

guitarsolo: evidently he was not and my vocal cords were cut

boywonder: omg that’s horrible

baymax: jericho im adopting you

baymax: you are now my son

mcrisback: Can you adopt me too?

baymax: yes

greenbean: what about me?

baymax: no

baymax: you have rita

greenbean: darn

baymax: im also adopting starfire

sunshine: Oh how wonderful

sunshine: I have not had parents since my enslavement to the Gordanians

baymax: im sorry your what?

sunshine: Did I not tell you about how the Gordanians attacked Tamaran and how my sister sold me to the Gordanians as a slave to try and create a treaty?

boywonder: what prison is blackfire currently in?

sunshine: I appreciate your concern, Robin, but you cannot kill my sister. It would mean we would be separated.

boywonder: fine

boywonder: i’ll settle for cuddles with you

sunshine: You are always welcome for cuddles.

baymax: lord that boy is whipped

boywonder: and what about it?

baymax: nothing

horseshoe: honestly hearing all these stories might be robins villain origin story

boywonder: starfire said no murder so no murder

horseshoe: the power starfire holds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to scroll through this several times to make sure i wasn't just missing kid flash's name. it's so trippy that he's just not in this chapter??
> 
> again people love to minimise their traumas, but like also fuck sl*de and tr*gon. starfire is defo the sort to be like 'yeah i was sold as a slave' casually in convo but like deep down she is TRAU-MA-TISED. starfire is defo very open about her feelings. like she'll tell you when she's pissed off and when she's upset. and we love her for it. jinx is just like 'um how am i the only reformed villain here?' and the other's are like 'well actually-' i think there are definitely more cases of heroes committing crimes that i didn't mention like um dick's emo phase.
> 
> ok so like beast boy's powers have had a lot of different explanations over the years, but i dunno. i don't typically use 'the red' as an explanation because it doesn't really explain a lot. like i imagine beast boy does gain a sense of animals while in different dimensions, but i feel like it's not all instincts. also, i feel like if he has a strong enough idea of the build and makeup of an animal or thing then he could shift into it. like beast boy has turned into mythical creatures before so there's definitely some element of 'this could exist if i used this dna and that dna.' but also he can turn into animals from different worlds. like he's turned into animals from Tamaran before. and because humans are technically an animal, i imagine the same applies to like demons, tamaraneans and kryptonians. what i'm saying is beast boy could potentially turn into a tamaraneans or kryptonian. i imagine he doesn't because 1. i imagine their dna is super complex so he'd be more likely to need like a dna sample (lol he could just steal a sample of superman's blood from lex, i'm sure lex has some spare.) and 2. i imagine it requires a lot more energy to maintain than anything else. it's like how the larger form beast boy takes on, the less time he can maintain it. so like beast boy could turn into a kryptonian but he'd be hospitalised for like a week afterwards tho. beast boy would probs be like 'worth it' tho. 
> 
> however, i also think beast boy defo has some mental blocks in place that prevent him from pushing his powers to the full extent. some of them are probs because he's scared of losing control to his animalistic tendencies and some are probably just fears of not knowing enough about the form he wants to take. i think in extreme situations he can push past those blocks, but most the time he keeps to his lil bubble of forms.
> 
> beast boy's powers are just so insane to think about because there's so much shit they could do. like nerve cells cannot be replaced as they stop mitosis pretty early on, but beast boy has to grow nerve cells all the time when he changes forms. my boy is essentially a walking stem cell. it's insane more villains aren't going after him to try and gain those sweet sweet stem cells. aka we were in biology and my teacher was talking about how nerve cells cannot be replaced once they're damaged and all i could think about is how regularly beast boy must replace his nerve cells.
> 
> sorry, i planned to write some other stuff but i haven't talked about beast boy in a hot minute and i needed to let the permanent hyperfixation out.
> 
> what are your thoughts on beast boy's powers?


	38. honesty hour: it's not bad™ - it's worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this arc truly can be summarised in this one title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: discussions of theft, drug dealing, kidnapping and experimentation
> 
> jinx: horseshoe  
> cyborg: baymax  
> beast boy: greenbean  
> kid flash: bbyflash  
> pantha: absfordays  
> raven: mcrisback

<titans assemble> 12:34

horseshoe: my life isnt too dramatic

horseshoe: i was simply raised to be bad

horseshoe: i was born cursed with bad luck and thats how it went

horseshoe: my mother was useless so i had to fend for myself

horseshoe: it started off with stealing little things to survive

horseshoe: but soon it upgraded to small drug deals to make a pretty penny

horseshoe: and then i found the hive

horseshoe: and i wanted to be the best

horseshoe: i wanted someone to validate me and tell me i was good enough

horseshoe: so i fought all of you a lot

horseshoe: and kid showed me that i was going about everything in the wrong way

horseshoe: i owe him my life

horseshoe: and i love hiafebfuiahufhus

baymax: umm jinx??

horseshoe: im fine

horseshoe: kid just tackled me

greenbean: yeah i can hear him screaming abowt how much he loves u

bbyflash: LEAVE ME ALONE I LOVE JINX OK?

absfordays: Wildebeest and I are also as you say team experiment

absfordays: I was taken by the Wildebeest Society where they experimented on lots of us

absfordays: They gave us animal DNA

absfordays: While there I found Wildebeest and escaped with him

absfordays: I believe Wildebeest was born in the facility

mcrisback: Wait the Wildebeest Society?

mcrisback: They had a base on Azarath

absfordays: I think so, but when we left we found ourselves on Earth

mcrisback: Guess that means Wildebeest is team alternate dimension

greenbean: releafed its not a demon?

mcrisback: Yeah

mcrisback: Wildebeest is way cooler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're nearing the end of 'honesty hour' and i'm so relieved about it.
> 
> ok because jinx's history is pretty vague, i took a lot of liberty with it. the stuff with the wildebeest society confuses me a lot so i just picked bits i understood. they did have a base on azarath though and i imagine it was linked to earth in some way so wildebeest gets to be team alternate dimension.
> 
> i was playing among us tonight and in one round yellow said they were gonna be afk for a bit at the start of the round. so i chilled with yellow in the dropship on polus. and orange joins me there. we stay there til the first kill is called and then we stick with yellow by the emergency table afterwards. yellow returns from afk and we follow yellow around. white shows up and stabs me in front of yellow and orange, but orange didn't quite see. we lose. but next round, i decide to stick with orange again and we do tasks together and vibe. 
> 
> we continue this for a few rounds and then i get impostor. i decide to still follow orange and just not kill anyone unless the other impostor gets caught. HOWEVER the other impostor kills orange in front of me and i nearly out them right there because they killed my partner :( i don't tho but we got caught later anyway. i apologise to orange and orange said they watched over me as a ghost. we go back to vibing together as crewmates.
> 
> THEN i get impostor again and thankfully the other impostor this time doesn't kill orange and does a pretty banging job on their own. like they won us the game. in the lobby i'm like 'i would never kill orange' and orange is like 'i'd never kill you bobby'. we vibe again for a bit and i get impostor again and a similar situation happens with the other impostor killing orange in front of me again.
> 
> then orange had to go. orange was like 'thank you for playing with me and thanks to the best partner i've ever had' and i wanted to sob.
> 
> and honestly, i truly understand love at first sight now. who else would i be able to trust to watch my back? certainly not bluelilies and julie. those two would stab me without hesitation.
> 
> anyway, your task today is to name a better love story. i'll wait.


	39. honesty hour: gonna see your true colors shining through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> speedy shares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: discussions of drug issues, abandonment issues, biphobia, abandonment and drug addiction
> 
> speedy: robinhood/boywonder2  
> robin: cerealromantic/boywonder  
> kidflash: ufuckingdonkey  
> wondergirl (YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT): gordonramsay  
> aqualad: thelittlemermaid/fishie  
> beastboy: greenbean  
> raven: mcrisback

<its called being FABULOUS but yeh we also gay> 13:03

robinhood: i see what you two are doing

cerealromantic: i did nothing

cerealromantic: it was aqualad’s idea

ufuckingdonkey: wait whats going on?

ufuckingdonkey: i am confusion™ 

gordonramsay: are you confused.com?

thelittlemermaid: I HAD NO PART IN THIS

gordonramsay: oh honey you’re not subtle

thelittlemermaid: but did it work?

robinhood: i hate all of you

gordonramsay: what did you all do anyway?

ufuckingdonkey: i have no idea

<titans assemble> 13:09

boywonder2: the titans werent robins first team

boywonder2: initially there was the fab 5

boywonder2: consisting of me, robin, kid flash, aqualad and wondergirl

boywonder2: we never really had an official name but we got together to fight crime sometimes when we were sick of our mentors

boywonder2: of course we started spending more time together and green arrow took it as an opportunity to spend some time travelling with green lantern

boywonder2: while they were gone robin found himself busier and wondergirl had to go away for some training so the team disbanded

boywonder2: green arrow wasnt back yet and everyone was so busy that i didnt want to disturb them but i felt alone

boywonder2: i never really intended to get addicted but i took heroin to try and find some comfort

boywonder2: but i got addicted

boywonder2: the other 4 found out and then green arrow found out

boywonder2: he was angry and kicked me out

boywonder2: it didnt help that hed found out i was bi while i was away

boywonder2: lantern found me and took me to canary to help me get clean

boywonder2: but recently i started taking again and aqualad found out

fishie: thanks for sharing speedy

fishie: i know it must have been hard

boywonder2: shut up fish guts

fishie: love you too

boywonder: thanks speedy

boywonder: and thanks everyone who shared

<pm: mcrisback to greenbean> 13:13

mcrisback: You know it wouldn’t hurt for you to share too

greenbean: id need a hole novell to cover evrything

mcrisback: At least tell me you will talk to Black Canary?

greenbean: ill considder it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we've reached the end of honesty hour thank fuck. honesty hour took me so long to write because i had to research a lot to make sure i wasn't confusing fanon with canon. of course, i did pull a lil bit of backstories out of my ass because canon ain't it. like canon tries to tell us most these characters are straight and listen, there ain't no way these heroes are straight.
> 
> ALSO DONNA'S HERE. she'll be in next chapter too and then she'll dip for a bit until her next appearance because she's too cool for the teen titans.
> 
> we're about an hour away from december so starting tomorrow i can start writing christmas themed chapters. (realistically i won't start writing christmas chapters til saturday)
> 
> i'm in college every week starting today so if my end notes seem a bit dead in a couple weeks, it's because education has killed me. i'm trying to keep on top of work so i can spend christmas writing chapters because i know that my next half term after that will be nearing exam period. (realistically i don't have exams but i have a feeling that's when the bulk of my chemistry and biology coursework is gonna be.)
> 
> so my question for today is do y'all have any christmas themed requests? i already have some ideas for christmas chapters, but the more i get the more updates there will be around christmas.


	40. the fantabulous fucking five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> roy: i have no fear  
> donna exists:  
> roy: i have one fear  
> dick walking in: hi-  
> roy: i have two fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aqualad: fishguts / thelittlemermaid  
> speedy: hairgel / robinhood  
> wondergirl: gordonramsay  
> robin: cerealromantic / boywonder  
> kid flash: ufuckingdonkey / bbyflash  
> starfire: sunshine  
> raven: mcrisback  
> cyborg: baymax  
> beast boy: greenbean

<pm: fishguts to hairgel> 7:14

fishguts: DONT USE THE BATHROOM

fishguts: DONNA IS HERE

hairgel: oh fuck oh shit

hairgel: im already in the bathroom

fishguts: f

hairgel: AHUIHCUIHUI

fishguts: rip speedy

fishguts: he was an alright kisser

hairgel: alright? ALRIGHT? aLrIgHt?

fishguts: ok now ladies

fishguts: now we gon break this thang down in just a few seconds

hairgel: DONT TURN MY SHOCK INTO HEY YA

fishguts: then dont make it so easy to do so

hairgel: im breaking up with you

fishguts: ok ill go flirt with cyborg

hairgel: not if i flirt with him first!

<its called being FABULOUS but yeh we also gay> 7:18

gordonramsay: god speedy and aqualad are stupidly in love

robinhood: if you think were whipped you should see robin with starfire

gordonramsay: yeah i know

gordonramsay: i have the videos diana sent me

cerealromantic: HOW DID DIANA GET VIDEOS?

gordonramsay: from alfred duh

robinhood: also donna can you please get out of the bathroom?

robinhood: like i want to shower

gordonramsay: then shower

gordonramsay: what’s stopping you?

robinhood: YOU CURRENTLY

cerealromantic: oh is donna currently in titans east?

cerealromantic: i’ll come say hi

robinhood: STAY WHERE YOU ARE

robinhood: I DONT NEED YOU BURSTING IN ONE ME NAKED TOO

gordonramsay: what’s the big deal?

gordonramsay: it’s just your dick

gordonramsay: besides i wanted to say hi

robinhood: YOU COULD HAVE SAID THAT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR

gordonramsay: but it feels impersonal to say hi from behind a door :(

robinhood: YEAH AND IT’S WAY TOO PERSONAL TO SAY HI INSIDE THE BATHROOM

robinhood: AHCUHEKHKE

robinhood: ROBIN HOW DID YOU GET HERE SO FAST?!

ufuckingdonkey: guilty

robinhood: HOW COULD YOU KID?

robinhood: I THOUGHT WE WERE ALLIES

ufuckingdonkey: robin said hed let me into the originals chat for a day :)

robinhood: traitor

ufuckingdonkey: but dont worry

ufuckingdonkey: aqualad and i arent gonna walk in on you

thelittlemermaid: yeah were gonna go to dunkin

thelittlemermaid: well leave you to it

cerealromantic: dunkin donuts? can i come?

ufuckingdonkey: of course

robinhood: THERE WAS NO NEED FOR YOU TO LEAVE THROUGH THE VENTS ROBIN

cerealromantic: i like the vents

cerealromantic: they feel like home

robinhood: i thought starfire was your home

cerealromantic: are you doubting my love for star?

robinhood: no

cerealromantic: that’s what i thought

cerealromantic: enjoy your shower

cerealromantic: donna are you coming?

gordonramsay: obviously

gordonramsay: have fun showering speedy

thelittlemermaid: join us after youve showered

cerealromantic: provided we haven’t been kicked out by then

<titans assemble> 7:32

sunshine: Where is Robin?

boywonder: kid and i are just at titans east for a small fab 5 reunion

bbyflash: were seeing how long it takes to get kicked out of dunkin donuts

boywonder: we are NOT trying to get kicked out

bbyflash: sure sure

bbyflash: but well defo get kicked out

baymax: so what youre saying is that robin isnt here atm?

boywonder: technically yes

boywonder: raven’s in charge

mcrisback: I claim no responsibility for these 3

baymax: i have to go wake beast boy up

boywonder: i’m too young to go gray

<super secret ninja squad> 7:45

greenbean: LADS

greenbean: assemble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's ya girl donna.
> 
> next up on the menu is some among us chapters AND THEN CHRISTMAS. imma start writing some christmas chapters tomorrow oop.
> 
> college has tired me out this week. i got my psychology essay back and i've passed my first psychology unit. i also handed in my biology assignment this week so finger's crossed that's alright otherwise imma be working on the resub for that over christmas. my chemistry teacher also hinted he's gonna give us our chemistry assignment over christmas so i've got that to look forward to. i have a psychology essay due on the 15th. so it's all deadlines deadlines deadlines. however, i've made a strict rule that the weekends are for vibing and not college work which is gonna get harder now that i'm in college every week. well i'm in college 7 days a fortnight. but we chilling at the moment. i'm not behind on work for once which is wild. it's like i'm suddenly a functional human being. procrastination? i no longer know them.
> 
> not to reuse a question but y'all have had a week to think of it, so if anyone has any christmas ideas/requests for chapters then lemme know. and also if you have any requests in general as imma need to churn out some more chapters to carry us still valentine's day. (i think valentine's day is my next week off after christmas at least.)


	41. among us: "would you kill me my love?" "for among us? without hesitation"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -robin created a lobby-  
> -beast boy entered-  
> -starfire entered-  
> -raven entered-  
> -hot spot entered-  
> -cyborg entered-  
> -kid flash entered-  
> -hot spot disconnected-  
> -jinx entered-  
> -hot spot entered-  
> -aqualad entered-  
> -bumblebee entered-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we are now entering the among us arc featuring robin as black, beast boy as green, raven as purple, starfire as pink, jinx as white, cyborg as cyan, hot spot as red, bumblebee as yellow, kid flash as orange and aqualad as blue.
> 
> for those of you who haven't played among us, it's similar to mafia or werewolf. up to 10 players are on a ship where there is between 1-3 impostors among them. the crewmates have to go about their tasks while the impostors are trying to kill everyone through straight up murder and/or sabotaging different elements of the ship. people can report dead bodies or call emergencies to discuss who they think the impostors are and even vote people off. the impostors win if there is an equal ratio of impostors to crewmates, or if they win by crewmates failing to fix a sabotage. crewmates can win by everyone completing their tasks or by voting out all the impostors.

beast boy: start

beast boy: start

beast boy: start

robin: I’M TRYING

robin: hot spot what the heck is wrong with your wifi?

hot spot: pantha might have yeeted it out a window

hot spot: and then brought it back in and put it back together

cyborg: remind me to come fix your wifi later

-starting in 5 4 3 2 1-

-there are 2 impostors among us-

-dead body reported by red-

hot spot: AHUDIHSUIHKJNEJ

hot spot: I JUST SAW WHITE JUMP OUT OF A VENT AND KILL ORANGE

jinx: thats a lil sus

jinx: i would never kill kf

jinx: i love him

~~ kid flash: *mike wazowski meme* ~~

-hot spot was not the impostor-

-2 impostors remain-

-cyborg called an emergency meeting-

cyborg: so hot spot wasnt the impostor

cyborg: jinx any words in defence

jinx: hot spots colour blind

cyborg: is he?

cyborg: i didnt know

~~ hot spot: so who’s the other impostor? ~~

~~ kid flash: dunno ~~

~~ kid flash: i was too focused on getting my tasks done ~~

aqualad: y’all

starfire: Let us skip this round, friends

jinx: thats a lil sus star

aqualad: yeah star what you hiding

cyborg: OMG STARS THE IMPOSTOR

-starfire was not the impostor-

-2 impostors remain-

-dead body reported by cyan-

beast boy: where?

robin: where?

jinx: where?

aqualad: where?

cyborg: in electricals

jinx: seems sus

jinx: maybe a self report

robin: it’s jinx and aqualad

jinx: those are bold accusations

jinx: sure it isnt you robin?

beast boy: robin has been a lil quiet

robin: IT’S NOT ME

cyborg: its gotta be robin

-robin was not the impostor-

-impostor victory-

cyborg: WAIT WHAT

cyborg: IT WAS JINX AND AQUALAD?!

kid flash: JINX HOW COULD YOU KILL ME?

jinx: id go to any extent to win among us

robin: I TOLD YOU IT WAS JINX AND AQUALAD

beast boy: yeah but u sownded super sus

robin: THAT’S WHAT YOU ALWAYS SAY

cyborg: even now he sounds sus

cyborg: and we aint even playing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all know how i said i was gonna start the chrimbo chapters this weekend? i lied. i spent the weekend doing some doodles instead. honestly, it was a good weekend for drawing. like my art style dipped a lot in november, but it's picking itself back up again which is a relief.
> 
> it's fine though, like i still have time to write those chapters. i mean at halloween i was literally writing them on the monday i started releasing the halloween chapters.
> 
> my question for today is what is your favourite holiday? and i'm not even referring to just christian holidays. just any holidays or events you celebrate or are interested in.
> 
> mine is halloween. spooky month is just my favourite time of year. (usually. this year was kind of sucky because of lockdown, but that goes for most holidays.) i just really like the vibes at halloween. you get fun spooky movies like coraline and the scooby doo movies, and you get to dress up. also, you get to eat a shit ton of candy and no one can criticise you for it except for willy wonka's dad.
> 
> i'm also really interested in the day of the dead. it just sounds like a very beautiful event and the decorations are *chef's kiss* but also the meaning behind the day is beautiful. 
> 
> i don't actually care for christmas too much. i liked christmas as a kid but like my family has sort of fell apart since then so now christmas is just a very quiet time of year. but i like writing about christmas? like i'm hyped to write these chrimbo chapters because they're gonna be hella chaotic, but when it comes to me actually celebrating christmas it's just 'meh.'


	42. among us: robin's a lil sus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -robin created a lobby-  
> -beast boy entered-  
> -starfire entered-  
> -raven entered-  
> -hot spot entered-  
> -cyborg entered-  
> -kid flash entered-  
> -hot spot disconnected-  
> -jinx entered-  
> -hot spot entered-  
> -aqualad entered-  
> -bumblebee entered-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we are now entering the second part of the among us arc featuring robin as black, beast boy as green, raven as purple, starfire as pink, jinx as white, cyborg as cyan, hot spot as red, bumblebee as yellow, kid flash as orange and aqualad as blue.
> 
> for those of you who haven't played among us, it's similar to mafia or werewolf. up to 10 players are on a ship where there is between 1-3 impostors among them. the crewmates have to go about their tasks while the impostors are trying to kill everyone through straight up murder and/or sabotaging different elements of the ship. people can report dead bodies or call emergencies to discuss who they think the impostors are and even vote people off. the impostors win if there is an equal ratio of impostors to crewmates, or if they win by crewmates failing to fix a sabotage. crewmates can win by everyone completing their tasks or by voting out all the impostors.

-there is 1 impostor among us-

-cyborg called an emergency meeting-

cyborg: robins a lil sus

beast boy: agree

raven: Yup super sus

robin: BUT I HAVEN’T EVEN DONE ANYTHING?!

cyborg: see?

cyborg: hes yelling that sus

starfire: It is quite suspicious behaviour

aqualad: yeah thats sus

bumblebee: i believe you

cyborg: bees also sus

cyborg: i think she might be the other impostor

hot spot: yeah robin was stood super sus

robin: I WAS STOOD LIKE THE REST OF YOU

kid flash: sus

-robin was not the impostor-

-1 impostor remains-

-dead body reported by cyborg-

cyborg: blacks sus

~~ robin: you literally voted me off last round dumbass ~~

jinx: robins dead

jinx: thats sus

beast boy: cy u litrally got rob voted off last rownd?

cyborg: ****

cyborg: i thought we voted for bee last round

-cyborg was the impostor-

-0 impostors remain-

cyborg: i ****** up

beast boy: yeh u did

robin: CAN YOU ALL STOP TRYING TO KILL ME AND BEE FIRST?

robin: I DON’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING AND YOU THINK I’M SUS

bumblebee: mood

bumblebee: i just wanna play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this week has been TIRING. i'm so glad we're at the end of the week. i've only got one more week of college before christmas break and i know it's gonna be bussssyyyyyy. i have a psychology essay due tuesday which is going ehhh and i wanna finish my university application next week. there's also a job i'm considering applying for part-time. so it is all go for me atm.
> 
> however, i'm also in the process of writing a beast boy-centric winter one-shot about his time with the doom patrol. i'm hoping to release that at some point next week, probably wednesday, but don't place your bets.
> 
> the question today is what are your fav winter vibes movies? and i'm not talking just christmas movies, i'm talking winter vibes like frozen.
> 
> spiderman into the spiderverse is set in winter and there are references to christmas at several points, but it's more about family and finding yourself than anything else. 
> 
> i also watched arthur christmas for the first time the other day and it was such a cute film. arthur is hella awkward throughout the whole film but very wholesome. the rest of his family is kind of a mess, but arthur is *chef's kiss*


	43. among us: you don't trust me? but i'm baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -robin created a lobby-  
> -beast boy entered-  
> -starfire entered-  
> -raven entered-  
> -hot spot entered-  
> -cyborg entered-  
> -kid flash entered-  
> -hot spot disconnected-  
> -jinx entered-  
> -hot spot entered-  
> -aqualad entered-  
> -bumblebee entered-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we are now entering the third part of the among us arc featuring robin as black, beast boy as green, raven as purple, starfire as pink, jinx as white, cyborg as cyan, hot spot as red, bumblebee as yellow, kid flash as orange and aqualad as blue.
> 
> for those of you who haven't played among us, it's similar to mafia or werewolf. up to 10 players are on a ship where there is between 1-3 impostors among them. the crewmates have to go about their tasks while the impostors are trying to kill everyone through straight up murder and/or sabotaging different elements of the ship. people can report dead bodies or call emergencies to discuss who they think the impostors are and even vote people off. the impostors win if there is an equal ratio of impostors to crewmates, or if they win by crewmates failing to fix a sabotage. crewmates can win by everyone completing their tasks or by voting out all the impostors.

-there are 2 impostors among us-

-cyborg called an emergency meeting-

cyborg: bumblebee was faking tasks

bumblebee: i wasnt??

cyborg: sus

jinx: thats super sus

starfire: That is very suspicious of you, Bumblebee

bumblebee: i was doing my tasks

cyborg: listen

cyborg: if its not bumblebee then vote me out

-bumblebee was not the impostor-

-2 impostors remain-

-aqualad called an emergency meeting-

aqualad: so cyborg was lying

cyborg: ok i know i seem super sus right now

cyborg: but i promise i genuinely thought bumblebee was the impostor

beast boy: seems sus

starfire: It is very suspicious

robin: i mean i think cyborg’s innocent

kid flash: thats exactly what the other impostor would say

hot spot: so its cyborg and robin?

robin: no

robin: guys seriously

robin: it’s not

-cyborg was not the impostor-

-2 impostors remain-

~~ bumblebee: thats karma ~~

-dead body reported by blue-

aqualad: in nav

beast boy: where

raven: It’s not me

raven: I was with purple

beast boy: u r purple-

-raven was not the impostor-

-2 impostors remain-

-robin called an emergency meeting-

robin: i was on admin

robin: and i saw beast boy suddenly go from med bay to electricals

aqualad: oof bb sus

beast boy: wut?

beast boy: robs liing

jinx: oh beast boy is super sus

starfire: Friends, how do I vent like Robin?

kid flash: oh snap

jinx: its robin

robin: it’s not me!

beast boy: i thot it was sus that he was susing me

-robin was not the impostor-

-2 impostors remain-

-jinx called an emergency meeting-

jinx: starfire why did you lie?

starfire: I wanted to be like the meme

starfire: Did I do it right?

jinx: yeah you did

kid flash: i dont think its starfire

kid flash: shes too baby to be impostor

aqualad: rob was sus of bb before he died

starfire: But Beast Boy has been with me this entire time?

starfire: Maybe Robin wanted to also be like a meme?

aqualad: maybe

aqualad: jinx and kid have been with each other an awful lot

aqualad: maybe theyve been doing double kills

kid flash: IM INNOCENT

jinx: I WOULD HAVE KILLED KID IF I WAS IMPOSTOR

beast boy: not if ure both impasta

beast boy: impaster

beast boy: imposter

beast boy: bad

aqualad: nice recovery

jinx: OMG ITS BEAST BOY AND STARFIRE   
beast boy: woah

beast boy: how culd u acuwse star like that

jinx: im-

-jinx was not the impostor-

-impostor victory-

aqualad: star how could you?

aqualad: i trusted you

starfire: And that was your first mistake :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so tired. i've spent all day writing an essay and it was hell. i'm not happy with it because i don't feel i used enough sources in it, but like i was already over the word count so what am i gonna do. i did get my biology assignment back though and i've passed that so at least i don't have to worry about resubmitting that over christmas. 
> 
> in other news, i've started writing the christmas chapters. i'm a little bit excited for them. there will be some crack, some fluff and some angst. i might also introduce a couple other dc characters as it is christmas. hopefully, i'll get those done on the weekend and then i can start writing the next bunch of chapters.
> 
> i am very tired at the moment though, college is beginning to burn me out a little bit so i'm really looking forward to these 2 weeks off. i've not thought of a question today. i apologise but i'm literally about to go pass out in bed. just know that i appreciate every single one of you who reads this crackpot of a fic.


	44. among us: the one time you trust robin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -robin created a lobby-  
> -beast boy entered-  
> -starfire entered-  
> -raven entered-  
> -hot spot entered-  
> -cyborg entered-  
> -kid flash entered-  
> -hot spot disconnected-  
> -jinx entered-  
> -hot spot entered-  
> -aqualad entered-  
> -bumblebee entered-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we are now entering the final part of the among us arc featuring robin as black, beast boy as green, raven as purple, starfire as pink, jinx as white, cyborg as cyan, hot spot as red, bumblebee as yellow, kid flash as orange and aqualad as blue.
> 
> for those of you who haven't played among us, it's similar to mafia or werewolf. up to 10 players are on a ship where there is between 1-3 impostors among them. the crewmates have to go about their tasks while the impostors are trying to kill everyone through straight up murder and/or sabotaging different elements of the ship. people can report dead bodies or call emergencies to discuss who they think the impostors are and even vote people off. the impostors win if there is an equal ratio of impostors to crewmates, or if they win by crewmates failing to fix a sabotage. crewmates can win by everyone completing their tasks or by voting out all the impostors.

-there are 2 impostors among us-

-hot spot disconnected-

-body reported by yellow-

beast boy: where?

starfire: Where?

kid flash: where?

bumblebee: before i say

bumblebee: who was on cams this round?

aqualad: i was briefly

aqualad: why?

bumblebee: the body was in security

robin: that’s sus

beast boy: ^

kid flash: super sus

-aqualad was not the impostor-

-1 impostor remains-

-robin called an emergency meeting-

robin: i think it might be yellow

robin: she might have been lying about the body last time

bumblebee: COME ON SERIOUSLY?!

beast boy: does seem sus

beast boy: also wut hapinned to the other impostor?

jinx: hot spot dced so i assume he was the other impostor

bumblebee: I WASNT LYING

-bumblebee was not the impostor-

-1 impostor remains-

-body reported by white-

jinx: OK OMG

aqualad: where?

beast boy: where?

starfire: Where?

jinx: OK SO I WENT INTO ELECTRICALS AND ROBIN WAS STANDING OVER KIDS DEAD BODY

robin: i was paying respects to a fallen bro

robin: press f to pay respects to our fallen bro

~~ kid flash: YOU SON OF A ***** ~~

robin: sometimes i can still hear his voice

beast boy: f

raven: F

starfire: F

aqualad: f

robin: jinx didn’t say f

robin: that’s sus

-jinx was not the impostor-

-1 impostor remains-

-body reported by purple-

beast boy: where?

robin: where?

starfire: where?

raven: in nav

beast boy: no?

beast boy: star and i r in nav

raven: i meant comms

beast boy: sus

raven: i got confused ok

robin: sus

starfire: It is most suspicious

-raven was not the impostor-

-1 impostor remains-

-impostor victory-

beast boy: ROBIN HOW CULD U?

robin: i’m amazed y’all didn’t vote me out tbh

cyborg: THE ONE TIME WE TRUSTED YOU

robin: you betrayed yourselves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry about the delay. it was my birthday in the week so i was celebrating last night and i didn't want to risk accidentally deleting all of my chapters. 
> 
> we've reached the end of the among us arc and starting monday we'll be moving into some chrimmus themed chapters. i don't know how many there will be yet. it will probably be a week of chrimmus chapters being released daily, but i'm still writing them so we'll find out on monday.
> 
> does anyone have an interesting plans for this winter break? like i know there's not much we can do because it's still a pandemic but like-
> 
> i mean christmas will be interesting this year. my grandparents and aunt are coming round and my mum's cooking. but what my mum doesn't know is that the cousin she has beef with might be coming too. so i'm excited to see that play out. it means i'll probably update first thing on christmas day rather than later in the day when the family is around.


	45. chrimmus: ho ho ho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> certified dumbassery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kid flash: bbyflash  
> robin: boywonder  
> cyborg: baymax  
> beast boy: greenbean  
> raven: mcrisback

<titans assemble> 8:39

bbyflash: help im trapped and feeling claustrophobic

boywonder: oh santas nearby?

bbyflash: very funny robin

bbyflash: what you gonna do follow it up with ho ho ho

boywonder: no?

boywonder: why would i do that you’re scared of santa?

bbyflash: STOP ITS NOT FUNNY I AM IN PAIN

boywonder: i hear you and im on my way to ask santa to leave

baymax: hey rob quick question

baymax: what do you think claustrophobia means?

boywonder: it’s a fear of santa duh?

greenbean: U DUMBASS

greenbean: CLAUSTROPHOBIA IS A FEAR OF SMALL SPACES

boywonder: what?

boywonder: wait can someone other than beast boy confirm this?

mcrisback: Beast Boy’s right

mcrisback: Also I’m just lifting the pieces off of you now Kid Flash

bbyflash: thanks raven

boywonder: i dunno what hurts more

boywonder: the fact that i didn’t know or the fact that beast boy was the one to correct me

baymax: or the the fact that beast boy knows how to spell claustrophobia

greenbean: u guys think so little of me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo. here we are at the start of the chrimmus chapters and i've definitely written all of the christmas chapters for this week. yup. definitely. i would never lie to y'all.
> 
> i'm not gonna lie. i'm a little burnt out at the moment. i'm gonna get the chrimmus chapters done, but then i might take a brief hiatus from updating or reduce updates to once a week for a bit. i have a few other projects i want to work on and i'm also in a bit of a bad headspace. my nan isn't very well at the moment and we reckon this will be her last christmas, if she even makes it to christmas. i also keep procrastinating my uni application which we won't talk about. my anxiety over this christmas just isn't great. like we might get past christmas and i feel great and like i can churn out 100s of more chapters, but at the moment i just feel a bit head empty when it comes to this fic. it's not for a lack of ideas either. i'm just lacking a lil bit of motivation for a mo.
> 
> so there will defo be chrimmus chapters this week, but then next week there might only an update on a monday or a friday. i'm just determined to not give up on this baby, especially before we hit 69 chapters, but i need to take a step back for a moment.


	46. chrimmus: merry christmas ya filthy animal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CHRISTMAS NAMES CHRISTMAS NAMES CHRISTMAS NAMES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beast boy: greenbean  
> kid flash: bbyflash  
> raven: mcrisback  
> robin: boywonder  
> aqualad: fishie  
> cyborg: baymax  
> speedy: boywonder2  
> jericho: guitarsolo  
> herald: hornblower  
> bumblebee: buzzlightyear  
> mas: thing1  
> menos: thing2  
> starfire: sunshine  
> tramm: trolley  
> thunder: bfg  
> lightning: sparkysparkyboomboomman  
> bushido: bushido  
> wildebeest: minotaur  
> hot spot: fiyahhh  
> kole: toughcookie  
> red star: radioactive  
> pantha: absfordays  
> argent: itsnotaphase

<titans assemble> 00:01

bbyflash: ey yo its officially chrimmus month

greenbean: its time for chrimmus names

boywonder: put the tree down bb

boywonder: we are not decorating in the night

greenbean: press f to doubt

boywonder: KF I CAN SEE YOU DECORATING

baymax: give up rob

baymax: because BOOYAH its christmas

mcrisback: I did tell you to sleep earlier Robin in preparation

boywonder: MAS MENOS I CAN SEE YOU

buzzlightyear: just give up robin

boywonder: bee why?

buzzlightyear: i do not control the twins

boywonder2: fish breath wouldnt leave me alone until i came with

sunshine: Oh this holiday is most wonderful

sunshine: The lights are so twinkly

boywonder: @everyone get you’re asses here and help decorate

baymax: whipped

toughcookie: the lights are a little too overwhelming for gnarrk

toughcookie: but we might pop round with a tree

greenbean: ALL OF THE TREES

fiyahhh: pantha and wildebeest are baking right now but we’ll be over soon

hornblower: im just filling jerichos hair with christmas lights and tinsel then we’ll be over

greenbean: omg

greenbean: starfire can we put decs in your hair

sunshine: That would be most wonderful

bbyflash: robin complains about decs as if he isnt wearing the most gay chrimmus jumper and big ol bauble earrings

boywonder: well i’m not an animal

greenbean: i take afence

boywonder: when you learn to spell offence then you can take it

boywonder: and don’t even think about following me around and cussing me out in portugese or french

greenbean: so i can cuss u out in swahili?

itsnotaphase: why do you lot take so long to change nicknames every time

itsnotaphase: i have to do everything around here

<itsnotaphase changed the chat name to ‘elves assemble’>

<itsnotaphase  changed greenbean’s name to ‘grinchinlooks’>

<itsnotaphase  changed mcrisback’s name to ‘grinchinspirit’>

<itsnotaphase  changed bbyflash’s name to ‘dasher’>

<itsnotaphase  changed boywonder’s name to ‘ebenezerscrooge’>

<itsnotaphase  changed fishie’s name to ‘angelfish’>

<itsnotaphase  changed baymax’s name to ‘santadaddy’>

<itsnotaphase  changed boywonder2’s name to ‘jacobmarley’>

<itsnotaphase  changed guitarsolo’s name to ‘comet’>

<itsnotaphase  changed hornblower’s name to ‘snowglobe’>

<itsnotaphase  changed horseshoe’s name to ‘vixen’>

<itsnotaphase  changed buzzlightyear’s name to ‘prancer’>

<itsnotaphase  changed thing1’s name to ‘northpole’>

<itsnotaphase  changed thing2’s name to ‘southpole’>

<itsnotaphase  changed sunshine’s name to ‘cupid’>

<itsnotaphase  changed trolley’s name to ‘noturkeyjustfish’>

<itsnotaphase  changed bfg’s name to ‘donder’>

<itsnotaphase  changed sparkysparkyboomboomman’s name to ‘blitzen’>

<itsnotaphase  changed bushido’s name to ‘killbill’>

<itsnotaphase changed minotaur’s name to ‘rudolph’>

<itsnotaphase  changed fiyahhh’s name to ‘fireplace’>

<itsnotaphase  changed toughcookie’s name to ‘dancer’>

<itsnotaphase changed radioactive’s name to ‘snowtimealltime’>

<itsnotaphase changed absforday’s name to ‘plumpuddin’>

<itsnotaphase changed their name to ‘yuleshootureyeout’>

ebenezerscrooge: wasn’t bushido killbill at halloween too?

dasher: well killbill is a christmas movie

santadaddy: are we just gonna ignore my name?

prancer: well it’s accurate

grinchinlooks: ^

grinchinspirit: ^

dasher: ^

dancer: ^

vixen: ^

santadaddy: bunch of simps the lot of ya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these christmas names took an age to figure out and it was an age that i did not have. although i say that, beast boy had so many name candidates for this. i just know more about halloween than chrimmus. 
> 
> i seriously need to get the rest of these chrimmus chapters written tomorrow else i am gonna be fucked on the 24th and 25th. i feel like i'm defo gonna take a week off from updating next week. y'all have noticed my end notes have been less witty recently because i am all out of jokes.
> 
> fortunately i have a kind of plan for the rest of the christmas chapter and it features a couple cameos from other dc characters. so your challenge for today is to predict which characters outside of the titans are gonna be making cameos.


	47. chrimmus: boo to the yah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we have our first mystery guest appearance :)))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> robin: ebenezerscrooge  
> kid flash: dasher  
> jinx: vixen  
> cyborg: santadaddy  
> raven: grinchinspirit  
> beast boy: grinchinlooks  
> jericho: comet  
> herald: snowglobe  
> argent: yuleshootureyeout  
> pantha: plumpuddin  
> starfire: cupid  
> speedy: jacobmarley  
> bumblebee: prancer  
> mas: northpole  
> menos: southpole  
> wildebeest: rudolph  
> kole: dancer  
> red star: snowtimealltime  
> aqualad: angelfish

<elves assemble> 10:03

ebenezerscrooge: so now that the tower is somewhat decorated

ebenezerscrooge: what’s everyone’s plans for Christmas

dasher: jinx and i are gonna spend it with uncle flash

vixen: but we’ll be back boxing day

santadaddy: aw young love

vixen: shut it daddy

santadaddy: i-

santadaddy: im leaving

vixen: bye then

santadaddy: i hate it here

santadaddy: but like ill probably be at my dads in the morning

santadaddy: he’ll probably pass out after a couple hours tho

santadaddy: so ill probably be home in the afternoon

grinchinspirit: I’ll be at the tower

grinchinspirit: Who else am I going to spend Christmas with?

grinchinspirit: My dad?

comet: i wish that were me

comet: gonna have another family reunion this christmas

comet: cuz it went so well last time

snowglobe: my offer still stands

comet: i know but id rather know someones having a good time

comet: besides rose and mom arent so bad

yuleshootureyeout: oof that sucks jericho

grinchinlooks: yeah let us no if u need us to kidnap u at any point

yuleshootureyeout: i was gonna go to titans south but like if the main towers free

grinchinspirit: That was better than my plans for Christmas

grinchinspirit: I was just planning on buying a load of snacks and eating them while watching Klaus

plumpuddin: Unnacceptable. We will be at the tower 6pm sharp on Christmas Eve with food.

prancer: where are the other main members gonna be?

ebenezerscrooge: starfire and i are gonna head back to gotham and spend christmas with the batman

cupid: I am finally going to meet the man who raised Robin

jacobmarley: so shes going to meet alfred?

ebenezerscrooge: yup

grinchinlooks: i might be with the doom patrol at chrimmus

dasher: might?

grinchinlooks: I need to ask elastigirl summin

grinchinspirit: About him?

grinchinlooks: yeah

grinchinspirit: Well, you’re more than welcome to come join the chaos that our Christmas is starting to turn into

prancer: if its not too much trouble is it cool if the titans east come to join you?

grinchinspirit: No go ahead

grinchinspirit: The more people the more chance someone will be able to cook

yuleshootureyeout: I mean pantha and kole were planning on cooking

grinchinspirit: Finally, some good fucking food

santadaddy: im right here?

grinchinspirit: Most the food you cook is essentially meat wrapped in meat and Beast Boy only cooks vegan shit

grinchinspirit: And Robin’s idea of cooking is making a bowl of cereal

grinchinspirit: And Starfire’s cooking is just for a more experienced palate

grinchinspirit: And I just admit that I can’t cook to save my life

dasher: you talk a lot of shit about bbs cooking but most the shit he makes absolutely slaps

grinchinlooks: I used to cook a lot with negative man

<pm: Gremlin Baby to Elastic Band> 10:36

Gremlin Baby: is he still there?

Elastic Band: I’m afraid so xxx

Elastic Band: He’s going to be here until New Year xxx

Gremlin Baby: ok

Elastic Band: I could come see you on Boxing Day or Christmas Eve? xxx

Elastic Band: We could watch some Christmas movies xxx

Gremlin Baby: id like that

<elves assemble> 10:41

grinchinlooks: im not going to doom manor on chrimmus

santadaddy: fat hot cocoa time?

grinchinlooks: fat hot cocoa time

<elves assemble> 11:39

santadaddy: ok but who is actually coming to the tower on christmas?

santadaddy: so i know how much ham to get

santadaddy: so if you’re coming say i

grinchinlooks: u r not even gonna be there for most of chrimmus

santadaddy: yeah but ill be there for food and that’s the most important bit

grinchinspirit: I

jacobmarley: i

snowglobe: i

prancer: i

northpole: sí

southpole: sí

rudolph: i

fireplace: i

dancer: i and gnarrk will be with me

snowtimealltime: I

plumpuddin: I

yuleshootureyeout: i

santadaddy: nice

santadaddy: and whos down to cook?

santadaddy: cuz i can help but i wont be there in the morning

grinchinlooks: i mean ill be cooking myself some vegan dishes so I can help with veg

dancer: i can cook the ham and a few other dishes

plumpuddin: I will bake some deserts with Wildebeest

santadaddy: BOOYAH

santadaddy: lets get this bread

dasher: i was about to ask why aqualad and speedy aren’t spending chrimmus together

dasher: then remembered where aqualad lives

jacobmarley: i was willing to go with aqualad but he frowned at me when i suggested it

angelfish: BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO COME WITH ME WHILE NOT EVEN WEARING A DIVING SUIT

jacobmarley: and?

angelfish: I VALUE YOUR LIFE AND WANT YOU TO LIVE BECAUSE YOURE A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING WHOM I LOVE?

jacobmarley: oh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and in case you didn't guess who the mystery guest was:  
> Gremlin Baby: beast boy  
> Elastic Band: elasti-girl
> 
> i'm so used to referring to rita as rita that i had to double check how she spelt her superhero name. i also wanted to make sure i wasnt confusing her superhero name with elastigirl from the incredibles.
> 
> you can probably infer who some of the other special guests are gonna be from this chapter, but there's hopefully still a few that will come as a surprise for you. we'll probably move straight into christmas day in tomorrow's chapter because there's gonna be a lil bit of stuff going down. like y'all know me gotta do a mixture of crack, angst and fluff.
> 
> i dunno if atlanteans celebrate chrimmus? like they're a fictional group of people so who knows what they celebrate. i don't think aquaman's ever been seen celebrating christmas, so probably not. i dunno. maybe they have their own traditions for christmas.
> 
> i spent ages trying to work out who in the titans would actually celebrate christmas because they're a lot of different members. i spent so long on hot spot because there's nothing obvious in the comics which i could see, but his name is isaiah and isaiah is the name of an israel prophet from the hebrew bible. so hot spot might be jewish BUT IT'S UNCLEAR. he's celebrating chrimmus but like he might just vibe with the others on chrimmus? i missed hanukkah anyway because i think that was last week.
> 
> then there's a lot of latinos in the titans and most celebrate christmas but again they probably have different customs to america and that's the thing I HAD TO RESEARCH AMERICAN CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS BECAUSE THERE'S DIFFERENCES TO ENGLAND. and like i had to work out what those differences were. because of course in england it's common to eat turkey on christmas day but like america usually has that at thanksgiving. and like england isn't as big on christmas lights. we decorate and stuff but most the lights are indoors and there's less of them. like we put most our stock in christmas crackers and wearing silly lil paper christmas crowns. i think there's also some food differences on what you eat for chrimmus dinner. but like if anything seems odd, please remember i'm not american.
> 
> but omg christmas is so much more work. halloween is a vague enough holiday that people have vastly different traditions and they're all valid, but christmas varies a lot but it's a little more dependent on location.


	48. chrimmus: one sheet does plenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ITS CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> robin: ebenezerscrooge  
> starfire: cupid  
> kid flash: dasher  
> jinx: vixen  
> cyborg: santadaddy  
> beast boy: grinchinlooks  
> speedy: jacobmarley  
> jericho: comet  
> aqualad: angelfish  
> argent: yuleshootureyeout  
> kole: dancer

<elves assemble> 7:01

ebenezerscrooge: i-

ebenezerscrooge: i’m-

cupid: Friends I have the tea to do the spilling of.

dasher: i heard tea?

vixen: starfire? has tea?

vixen: im here for it

santadaddy: everyone shut up i need to hear this

grinchinlooks: u r the lowdest person tho?

santadaddy: i will put meat in your tofu

vixen: SHUT THE FUCK UP

vixen: starfire continue

cupid: So Robin and I are in Gotham with the Batman and it appears to be that Robin was replaced by a smaller Robin who is actually taller than our Robin

ebenezerscrooge: I WAS REPLACED BY A SNOTTY NOSED BRAT

dasher: AHDJKSHJKDH

jacobmarley: batman really got pissed off that you didnt visit him enough huh?

ebenezerscrooge: HE EVEN LET THE KID CALL HIMSELF ROBIN

ebenezerscrooge: THE AUDACITY OF THIS BITCH

<elves assemble> 7:31

ebenezerscrooge: i’ve only had baby robin for 5 minutes but if anything happened i’d kill everyone on this team and then myself

comet: good for you

comet: ive been home for 10 minutes and rose has already tried to stab me once

comet: although watching mom tear into slade is honestly the best moment of my life

comet: and he just has to sit there and take it

comet: what’s he gonna do? stab my mom?

vixen: can your mom adopt me?

vixen: also i love kf but watching him and flash interact makes me feel like im dying

ebenezerscrooge: oh that’s a mood

dasher: sorry jinx

dasher: hows big old bat daddy getting along with starfire?

ebenezerscrooge: never call him that again

ebenezerscrooge: and he’ll warm up to her

ebenezerscrooge: alfred likes star tho

jacobmarley: alfred likes everybody

angelfish: he doesnt like green arrow

jacobmarley: does anyone like green arrow tho?

angelfish: you got me there

<elves assemble> 15:01

ebenezerscrooge: my communicator just went off

ebenezerscrooge: is everything ok?

yuleshootureyeout: yeah control freaks just up to his usual

yuleshootureyeout: raven, bumblebee, speedy, mas y menos and hot spot are dealing with it

grinchinlooks: probs wont take long

grinchinlooks: control freak gets anoid when the usual crew dont show up

dasher: im missing out on control freak’s absolute legendary shenanigans right now?

grinchinlooks: so am i :(

dasher: wait why arent you going bb?

grinchinlooks: im cooking atm

dancer: i could have kept an eye on your food

grinchinlooks: u have ur hands full with ur own food and gnarrk

dancer: true but cyborg could have watched it

grinchinlooks: cys the one im worreed abowt

grinchinlooks: hell put meat in my food if i dont watch carefly

santadaddy: *GASP* I WOULD NEVER

ebenezerscrooge: i literally watched you put meat in bb’s food just last week

santadaddy: the boi let his guard down

santadaddy: rule one: never trust anyone

vixen: youre really taking the daddy role seriously huh?

vixen: teaching him them lifeskills

santadaddy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

yuleshootureyeout: please refrain from antagonizing cyborg for 5 minutes

yuleshootureyeout: he’s currently holding the ham

yuleshootureyeout: he’s done

yuleshootureyeout: clown away

santadaddy: i’ll poison your food argent

yuleshootureyeout: bold words from someone who cries at paddington bear

santadaddy: HE’S JUST SO CUTE

ebenezerscrooge: he makes a point

ebenezerscrooge: paddington is very cute

<batfam> 17:22

-bisexualicon added Jason Todd to batfam-

bisexualicon: welcome to the fam 

bisexualicon: but also there can be only one

Jason Todd: understandable

Jason Todd: but consider this

Jason Todd: you suck

bisexualicon: well fuck

senseandsensability: Language Master Dick

bisexualicon: sorry alfred

<Jason Todd changed their name to ‘thefavorite’>

<bisexualicon changed thefavorite’s name to ‘favoritemyass’>

favoritemyass: oh it is so on

<vacation 24/6> 17:32

iamthenight: I introduced the kids to each other

iamthenight: I can’t wait to watch them battle each other for their place as my favourite

itsnotansmom: what is wrong with you?

iamthenight: I’m still a better parent than Green Arrow

actualqueen: You say that like that’s hard?

grinchasshole: What did I do to deserve this treatment?

grinchasshole: I’ve done nothing wrong in my life ever

nomoremoviespls: press f to doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we had some more cameos today lads. TRYING TO KEEP MYSELF FROM TELLING YALL ABOUT JASON WAS SO HARD BECAUSE I HAD BEEN PLANNING THAT SHIT SINCE THE START OF DECEMBER.
> 
> additional names:  
> robin (dick grayson): bisexualicon  
> alfred: senseandsensability  
> batman: i am the night  
> superman: itsnotansmom  
> wonderwoman: actualqueen  
> gr**n *rr*w: grinchasshole  
> green lantern (hal): nomoremoviespls
> 
> merry christmas eve. the christmas day chapter will be released when i wake up tomorrow so for most of you it will probably be sometime between 2-5am. mainly because i'm gonna be busy some of tomorrow and maybe have a lil bit of alcohol.
> 
> so far we've had cameos from jason, bruce, alfred, clark, hal, gr**n *rr*w and diana. i still have a couple more planned as a treat.


	49. chrimmus: *noddy voice* IT'S CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> snippets from an afternoon of teenagers and children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> speedy: jacobmarley  
> beastboy: grinchinlooks  
> robin: ebenezerscrooge  
> cyborg: santadaddy  
> jinx: vixen  
> raven: grinchinspirit  
> kid flash: dasher/ufuckingdonkey  
> wondergirl: gordonramsay  
> argent: yuleshootureyeout  
> kole: dancer  
> aqualad: angelfish  
> starfire: cupid

<elves assemble> 16:29

jacobmarley: cyborg ate all the meat

grinchinlooks: i told ya to be faster

grinchinlooks: food is war

jacobmarley: you say that while you take your time with your fucking food

grinchinlooks: purks of being a vegan

jacobmarley: sometimes i cant tell whether your typos are you being illiterate or whether youre making puns

grinchinlooks: shut it soywonder

jacobmarley: i-

ebeneezerscrooge: SOY WONDER

santadaddy: OH SHIT

vixen: beast boy im so proud

grinchinspirit: It’s not often that Beast Boy impresses me

dasher: AHDJSKHJKHJKE

dasher: BB I LOVE YOU

<its called being FABULOUS but yeh we also gay> 16:32

ufuckingdonkey: DONNA

ufuckingdonkey: DONNA

gordonramsay: what?

ufuckingdonkey: BEASTBOY JUST CALLED SPEEDY SOYWONDER

gordonramsay: OMG

gordonramsay: ABSOLUTE LEGEND

gordonramsay: ADD ME INTO THE CHAT FOR A SEC

<elves assemble> 16:34

-dasher added Wondergirl to elves assemble-

Wondergirl: bb you are my hero

grinchinlooks: oh look its the best member of the fab five

ebenezerscrooge: i-

dasher: betrayal

dasher: but also fair

Wondergirl: anyway

Wondergirl: merry christmas sluts

Wondergirl: peace out

-Wondergirl left elves assemble-

<elves assemble> 18:22

dasher: yall can go home now

dasher: jinx got me the best present

grinchinlooks: what shed get u?

grinchinlooks: cy got me a giant broccoli plush

dasher: noice

dasher: but it tops that

dasher: she got me a giant totoro plushie

dasher: like it’s bigger than that 500 dollar 4 foot mareep

grinchinlooks: i admit defeet

vixen: ok but kf got me so much mcr merch im crying

yuleshootureyeout: noice i cant wait to steal all of that

grinchinspirit: Mood

santadaddy: beast boy got me a singular tin of spam

ebenezerscrooge: wtf beast boy?

grinchinlooks: i might have panicked

<elves assemble> 20:21

grinchinlooks: MERRY CHRISTMAS YA FILTHY ANIMALS

grinchinlooks: also cys teaching gnarrk to dance

dancer: its very cute

dancer: i want to join them

vixen: then walk up to them

vixen: and slot yourself in

vixen: they would definitely not stop you

dancer: are you sure?

dancer: i dont want to intrude

vixen: beast boy get up and dance with anyone other than cy and gnarrk that are currently in a pair

grinchinlooks: aye aye cap’tain

vixen: see?

vixen: now get your cute booty up and dance with them

dancer: thanks jinx

vixen: yeah yeah

vixen: now im gonna go smuggle food with ‘auntie flash’

grinchinlooks: aight im back

vixen: damn get kicked out that fast

grinchinlooks: i got inbeteen rae and argent

vixen: ah

vixen: wait theyre dancing together?

grinchinlooks: yup

grinchinlooks: very cute

<pm: fluffmelon to peepoopeepoo> 21:21

fluffmelon: can you come pick me up?

fluffmelon: im tired and i want to dance with you and snuggle and maybe even hold your hand

peepoopeepoo: of course

peepoopeepoo: merry christmas joey

peepoopeepoo: i love you

fluffmelon: i love you too (づ￣ ³￣)づ

fluffmelon: now please pick me up

fluffmelon: its cold and im scared if i stand here any longer rose will come out and stab me again

peepoopeepoo: again?

fluffmelon: she only scratched me its fine

<elves assemble> 22:23

ebenezerscrooge: honestly i think baby robin would get on with speedy

angelfish: god you need to change your name

angelfish: im not dealing with having to refer to you as big and lil robin from now on

cupid: Especially when the younger Robin is the taller of the two Robins

ebenezerscrooge: thanks for that reminder

jacobmarley: isnt baby robin a snotty nosed brat tho?

ebenezerscrooge: so is beast boy, mas and menos?

ebenezerscrooge: your point?

jacobmarley: fair

<pm: Silas Stone to Victor Stone> 00:02

Silas Stone: I’m so sorry, Victor. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. It’s just been so hard without your mother. I do love you and I am proud of you even if I can’t show it. Merry Christmas, my son. I’m sure your mother would be proud of you too. Perhaps, we can meet up again sometime? Maybe for dinner. I’m sorry.

-read 07:01-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> additional:  
> jericho: fluffmelon  
> herald: peepoopeepoo
> 
> MERRY CRISIS TO SOME AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO OTHERS!
> 
> i've been awake for like an hour? and i've already nearly killed my mother. BY ACCIDENT. i forgot how old people can't hear and i walked up to her while she was drying the underneath of her hair and tapped her on the neck and she SHAT HERSELF. we burst out laughing shortly after.


	50. we'll ignore that a specific someone doesn't know what a simp is :))))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cyborg. that's it. that's the tweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beastboy: bestboy  
> kid flash: sergeantmajorkid  
> jinx: colonellucky  
> kole: chiefsimp  
> raven: corpseral  
> aqualad: lieutenantshrimp  
> hot spot: theflamealchemist  
> bumblebee: privatebee  
> speedy: spydisguise

<simps unite> 13:01

bestboy: i hav assembled the cownsil of 9 for 1 purrpuss

bestboy: cyborg

sergeantmajorkid: talented brilliant incredible amazing showstopping spectacular

colonellucky: i still dont understand how kfs sergeant major

sergeantmajorkid: cuz im the bigger simp for cyborg

colonellucky: excuse me?

sergeantmajorkid: you literally had the opportunity to ditch brother blood for cy and didn’t take it

colonellucky: I DIDNT KNOW GOING GOOD WAS AN OPTION

sergeantmajorkid: if i was a villain and cyborg offered me a chance at redemption, id take it

sergeantmajorkid: rip to jinx, but im different

bestboy: cool story

bestboy: but not why i gavered yall

chiefsimp: so why have you summoned us oh great one?

corpseral: I take it has to do with why Cyborg’s been down recently?

bestboy: aye aye corporal

bestboy: but i cant tell u why

bestboy: all i can say is operation cheer up cy is a must

lieutenantshrimp: hate to say it but the last time kf meddled in someone’s lives it didn’t go well

bestboy: thats cuz kf didnt ask me :/

sergeantmajorkid: its true

sergeantmajorkid: bb is the sensible one of this duo

corpseral: That’s a terrifying notion

bestboy: :))))))))))))

theflamealchemist: i cant believe we are in a position where i trust beast boy more than bee

privatebee: i-

theflamealchemist: dont @ me

theflamealchemist: you were involved in operation spaqualad

lieutenantshrimp: ew

lieutenantshrimp: thats what you call us?

sergeantmajorkid: what you dont like it?

lieutenantshrimp: it implies speedy tops

privatebee: AQUALAD

privatebee: THERE ARE KIDS PRESENT

bestboy: bee out here acting like i dont have a ff acownt

privatebee: i meant raven

bestboy: oh

bestboy: that makes sense

colonellucky: why are bb and raven even here when they’re literal kids?

colonellucky: like go do your homework like good lil kids?

bestboy: u really gonna kick me out of my own gc huh jinx?

lieutenantshrimp: i wouldnt risk it jinx

colonellucky: what yall gonna tell me youre scared of bb now?

theflamealchemist: honestly? yes

lieutenantshrimp: bb can be terrifying when he wants to

bestboy: :))))))))))

colonellucky: well i aint a coward

<colonellucky removed bestboy from simps unite>

sergeantmajorkid: press f to pay respects to jinx

theflamealchemist: f

lieutenantshrimp: f

privatebee: f

colonellucky: what why me?

corpseral: F

chiefsimp: f

colonellucky: BB WAS THE ONE WHO WAS KICKED OUT

spydisguise: f

colonellucky: STOP PAY RESPECTS TO BB INSTEAD

sergeantmajorkid: oh my sweet sweet innocent kickass gf

sergeantmajorkid: i will miss you

colonellucky: WHAT DO YOU MEASHDKJHJKHFHK

corpseral: So who wants to convince Robin that Cyborg deserves a game room?

corpseral: And who, Kole, wants to, Kole, take Cyborg, Kole, out?

chiefsimp: i get the feeling you want me to do the second thing

corpseral: Whatever gave you that idea? :)

chiefsimp: the kids are scary these days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trying to write this chapter was so hard. i was trying to put my mind in that of a teens and like non-ace teens. like i've never really had an interest in anyone beyond 'hold hand' and 'cuddle' and maybe 'gib kith'. this gc is mostly just the teens joking around about how everyone is a lil bit gay for cyborg, but also doubles as a cyborg protection squad. 
> 
> i'm back from my mini hiatus, in part. i don't think there will be an update on friday. there might be who knows. but this weekend i'm gonna aim to get back on track with writing chapters for this because at the moment my brain is just like 'hnng draw pretty picture' and i'm giving into it a little bit.
> 
> i always picture the events in this fic taking place a couple years post teen titans, so most of the titans are like 16-18, some are a little older some are a little younger. most the couples in this are made up of over 16's. jericho and herald are currently the only exception to this in my head, mainly because i'm still figuring out who or if i want to ship bb with anyone in this. like the problem with being a multi-shipper is that i don't have an otp so someone will suggest a pairing to me and i'm like 'ooh that's nice'. like i'm out here like do i want bb with raven, jericho and herald, someone else or do i just leave him single? 
> 
> i say this, but i'm not confirming ages. like i don't like to confirm things unless i have a solid timeline in my head and i don't. cuz i've made fab five canon in this, there's reasonably got to be a time where robin was batman's sidekick, a period where robin was with the fab five and the two years since he joined the teen titans. similar with speedy, there's gotta be a period where he became speedy, a period where he was with the fab five, a period where he was using drugs, a period where he was in rehab and then a certain amount of time since he joined titans east. like there's so many factors that i've got to consider that for most i've just gone, they're somewhere over 16 or 18 and left it alone. noticeable exceptions to that rule are mas, menos, beastboy, raven, wildebeest, and potentially herald and jericho.


	51. you're trapped from destroying bb through societal convention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a date would not be complete without spy shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> robin: boywonder  
> raven: mcrisback  
> aqualad: fishie  
> speedy: boywonder2  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> cyborg: baymax  
> kid flash: bbyflash

<titans assemble> 13:52

boywonder: do i even want to know why kf looks so defeated?

mcrisback: Kid Flash wanted to follow Cyborg, Gnarrk and Kole on their outing

boywonder: well that’s better than what i thought it was

fishie: why did you think he was down?

boywonder: no reason

boywonder2: no please share robin :)

boywonder: fuck i forgot there’s two of you gremlins

horseshoe: why did you think it was robin?

boywonder: i thought maybe jinx had finally realised she’s too cool for kf and broken up with him

bbyflash: WOW

boywonder: i’m so sorry

bbyflash: ILL HAVE YOU KNOW IM A DELIGHT

horseshoe: wow

horseshoe: robin has really given me something to think about

bbyflash: i-

bbyflash: please no

horseshoe: im kidding

horseshoe: i couldnt even get rid of this gremlin if i tried

boywonder: wait but why isn’t beast boy also grumpy?

bbyflash: well

boywonder: you’re kidding me

baymax: do you mean to tell me that beast boy is currently tailing me?

bbyflash: no

bbyflash: bb would never do something like that

bbyflash: especially in a form too small for you to detect :)

baymax: remind me to place all the tofu in the tower with meat

bbyflash: yeah bb figured that would happen so he planned in advance

baymax: what did he do?

bbyflash: have fun on your date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry about many things, but mostly about the late chapter and how short it is.
> 
> so normally during breaks like summer, halloween, christmas, i spend my time writing the chapters for this fic so i can focus on college work during term time. however, over christmas i hit a patch of writers block which i'm getting over slowly. but it meant that over christmas, i only wrote the christmas chapters. so at the moment, i've been writing the chapters just before they're released. however, i wasn't exactly busy over the weekend but quite a bit of stuff happened.
> 
> to start with, i was gonna play phasmophobia with a friend. however, i realised my specs aren't good enough to run it so i spent some time talking to a friend about getting a new computer and her recommendations. which is all good now, i should have a new computer soon and be able to have a second monitor plugged in without my computer dying. (this means i'll be able to watch twitch streams while writing chapters.) 
> 
> secondly, i was working on an art commission for a friend because i'd already made them wait a week for it and realistically that's not too long a waiting period, i just felt bad. also, i knew if i left it too long i'd forget. but that took some time.
> 
> also, sunday night i came out as trans to my mum. it went well thankfully. my mum is still struggling and i don't think she fully understands (i'll probably need to explain some stuff to her in a bit, but i'll wait for her to get used to the concept.), but she supports me and promised to be by my side should i decide to come out to other relatives which is sweet of her.
> 
> but that threw me out of whack. like sunday night i went through like 50 different emotions and then couldn't sleep because i was so thrown off. like i was really happy, but i didn't really plan to come out to my mum, it just sort of happened. like i was just listening to babymetal for the first time in years and something about doki doki morning said 'come out to your mum' and i can't say no to babymetal. so i was really shook. like i had to keep messaging a friend like 'did that really just happen? did i actually just come out to my mum?' but anytime i tried to sleep sunday night my brain was just like 'holy shit i came out.' so i didn't really sleep sunday.
> 
> monday came around and i was still working on the commission. i finished that and my brain for some reason thought it was still sunday. like i was still pretty out of whack. but i got to a point where like an hour before the time i usually update, i realised i was meant to update this fic and i hadn't even started the chapter.
> 
> so i started writing it last night with the intention to write the rest today. however, i do have a chemistry assignment due friday so i wanted to spend the daytime working on that. however, i underestimated my inability to do question 8 and only understood it like an hour ago. BUT IT MEANT THIS CHAPTER WAS RUSHED AS FUCK which is why it's so short.
> 
> like there were just a lot of circumstances against me this week so i apologise that the update is short and late, but it does set us up nicely for friday. yes, there will be an update on friday because i feel bad about this update and i want to slowly get used to updated on monday and friday's again. friday's update will be longer and hopefully on time. realistically, until i sit down and write another chunk of chapters, updates might be a bit messy.


	52. damn daniel back it again with the white vans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trust no one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beastboy: greenbean/beansprout/gremlinbaby  
> kid flash: bbyflash  
> cyborg: baymax/tincan  
> kole: toughcookie

<titans assemble> 19:27

greenbean: i hav returnd

bbyflash: what did you see?

greenbean: my lips are seeld

bbyflash: that means it was juicy!

bbyflash: spillllllll

baymax: im right here

bbyflash: come on bbbbbbbb

bbyflash: ill die if I dont know the teaaaa

greenbean: ur own fault for not tailing cy

bbyflash: you know cy would have caught me

greenbean: sounds like a u problem

bbyflash: come on just dm it to meee

greenbean: ull just come back here to tell everyone

bbyflash: I mean youre right

<PM: tincan to beansprout> 19:51

tincan: thanks for not telling the others

beansprout: its fine

beansprout: now I hav blackmale on u :)

tincan: oh

beansprout: ull learn to love tofu :)

tincan: fuck no

<titans assemble> 19:53

baymax: kole gnarrk and I are dating

baymax: thanks for coming to my talk

toughcookie: what happened to keeping it quiet for a bit?

baymax: the alternative was giving bb blackmail material

toughcookie: understandable

toughcookie: can confirm we are dating

bbyflash: OH YEAHHHHHHH

greenbean: oh no

greenbean: I lost my blackmale

greenbean: guess now everyone knows

baymax: was that your plan all along?

greenbean: who knows

greenbean: im not the leader

baymax: wait what?

<??? to gremlinbaby> 20:05

???: well done

???: you’ve done well

gremlinbaby: all according to plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyyyoooo i am back from hiatus. sorry, it wasn't yesterday, but i've decided to change up my update schedule. imma do weekly updates from now on a tuesday. it's been so long though.
> 
> honestly, i needed that break. i was so burnt out. i'm still a little bit out of the swing of writing chapters for this, but i rewatched teen titans recently to get back in the feels. i also binge watched d gray man but that's something else entirely. i've been drawing a lot recently and feeling a lot better mentally. college is still stressing me out but that won't stop until summer.
> 
> d gray man was so good tho. i always get anxious watching animes these days because i'm so tired of seeing unnecessary titty/panty shots, especially when the characters a minor. *cough*reasons i can't bring myself to reread soul eater*cough* d gray man wasn't like that though. the only time i remember seeing tits was on this one type of akuma and it was horrific. i hated it. not because it felt like sexualised, but because the akuma was just genuine nightmare fuel. it's gonna be such a pain to wait for the manga of d gray man to update because it updates like 3-4 times a year. but it's an emotional rollercoaster. i watched the first episode like 'oh a couple characters died but they were all background characters' and then the author started killing side characters at random points and it had me sobbing every 10 minutes.
> 
> but enough about d gray man. this chapters a little short but like it's because i left off in the middle of an arc and i'm struggling to remember what i was planning when i started it. it should come back to me tho. hopefully. i pray.
> 
> the wait is over though. the hiatus is over and i will be spending the evenings of this week writing chapters for this fic again.


	53. one of us one of us one of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> be careful who you ask to babysit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kid flash: bbyflash  
> robin: boywonder  
> cyborg: baymax  
> beast boy: greenbean  
> raven: mcrisback  
> jinx: horseshoe  
> starfire: sunshine

<titans assemble> 13:02

bbyflash: ummm

bbyflash: robin where are you?

boywonder: we’re on a mission

bbyflash: so the towers empty?

boywonder: i mean beast boy’s there-

boywonder: oh no

bbyflash: oh yes

baymax: oh no

greenbean: oh yes

mcrisback: Oh no

horseshoe: oh yes

sunshine: I have the moths in my stomach

boywonder: you mean butterflies

sunshine: Yes!

greenbean: when have i ever let u down?

boywonder: all the time

boywonder: i physically can’t leave you alone for 5 minutes

greenbean: but im there when u need it most

boywonder: at the moment i don’t need you most and that’s what scares me

horseshoe: its all fine :))

horseshoe: im here afterall

boywonder: just please tell me the tower will be standing when i get home

bbyflash: i make no promises

boywonder: at least tell me i will have a bed when i get home

bbyflash: define a bed

baymax: its fine

baymax: bbs got a broken leg

baymax: theres no way they can cause that much damage

  
  


<titans assemble> 21:36

boywonder: what the everloving fuck?

baymax: i underestimated them

horseshoe: yeah you guys shouldn’t trust me to watch these two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about last week. for those who aren't in the discord, essentially what happened is i wrote the chapters on word saved them with the intention to back them up on google docs. then i procrastinated backing them up and the word file got corrupted. so i lost the chapters and didn't realise til like an hour before i uploaded. originally, i was just gonna rewrite what i lost but i got annoyed that i couldn't remember some of the jokes and the flow wasn't the same so i ditched it for now. instead we're going a different route. 
> 
> these chapters feel a little lackluster at the moment because i'm currently working on a d gray man fanfic and a little bit hyperfixated on that. i also got splatoon 2 and i've been obsessed with that recently. i also go back to in person college lessons from the 15th march and i have a feeling i'm gonna be very busy with college work from here until the end of the year. and i'm gonna be moving house in june so i'm gonna have to start sorting out my room because there's a lot of junk i'm not gonna want to take with me to the new house. like i feel like these next few months are gonna be super busy. 
> 
> anyway, it's gonna be a wild few months and i'm so glad i decided to back down to one upload a week because i would not be able to cope with 2 a week.

**Author's Note:**

> updates: tuesday
> 
> if y'all want to yell at me or y'all have anything you want to see y'all can find me at https://littlespaceboii.tumblr.com/ or on discord @ lilspaceboi#1740


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